Well, there is good news and not so good news.

First the good news. I’m going on a cruise from Sunday, February 2nd - 9th. 3 ports of call — Belieze, Cancun and Key West, FL. It’s going to be a blast. Expect lots of drunken, half-baked journal entries and interesting pictures.

The bad news. I found out today that I have an emergency business trip the week of the 10th - 15th. Can we say logistical pain in the ass?

Back in port Sunday morning in Galveston, TX. Drive 5 hours home. Unpack from cruise. Re-pack for business trip. Fly to Houston that evening. Blah. That’s no fun.

There has to be a better way.

As a followup to the sordid but hilarious news item regarding the Joe Millionaire finalist starring in bondage and fetish videos, lurid.org is reporting a breaking news story.

Sarah Kozer, porn actress and reality TV personality, evidently only owns one sweater.

Check out her publicity photo in the entry from yesterday and then check out the video captures from one of her bondage fetish films. Yes, sad as it may be….she’s wearing the same turtleneck sweater. Oh, the shame of it all.

I just ran across an article The Smoking Gun regarding one of the Joe Millionaire finalists. Before doing her stint on the show, contestant Sarah starred in bondage and fetish videos.

While Fox Television has described Sarah Kozer’s occupation as “sales and design,” the 29-year-old Los Angeles woman has a far more interesting entry on her resume: in the past few years she has starred in bondage films like “Novices in Knots,” “Hogtied,” and “Helpless Heroines,” an well as foot fetish titles like “Dirty Soled Dolls.” The 1998 graduate of Virginia’s George Mason University is credited in these films as “Cindy Schubert.”

I’ve got one thing to say about this…

BwwhahahahahahahhahAHAHAHAHAhhahahahahaha.

Garry Kasparov had to settle for a draw against the Deep Junior in game 2 of the Man vs. Machine World Chess Championship. Kasparov offered a draw after the computer made a tactical queen sacrifice on move 29. More info available at http://www.fide.com.

For those of you geeky enough to understand chess notation, here is the game score:

DEEP JUNIOR - Kasparov,G (2847)
B42 Sicilian Defense - Paulsen Variation
FIDE Man-Machine WC New York USA (2), 28.01.2003

1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 e6 3.d4 cxd4 4.Nxd4 a6 5.Bd3 Bc5 6.Nb3 Ba7 7.c4 Nc6 8.Nc3 d6 9.0-0 Nge7 10.Re1 0-0 11.Be3 e5 12.Nd5 a5!? 13.Rc1 a4 14.Bxa7 Rxa7 15.Nd2 Nd4 16.Qh5!?! An interesting move. How will it turn out though? 16. ..Ne6 17.Rc3 Nc5 18.Bc2 Nxd5 19.exd5 g6 20.Qh6 f5 21.Ra3 Qf6 22.b4 axb3 23.Rxa7 bxc2 24.Rc1 e4 25.Rxc2 Qa1+?! Maybe this won’t turn out to have been the best. Kasparov may be winning here with perhaps 25. ..f4. 26.Nf1 f4 27.Ra8 e3 28.fxe3 fxe3 29.Qxf8+ Kxf8 30.Rxc8+ Kf7 ½-½

Norway joined the war on terrorism today when a Norwegian F-16 droped two laser-guided bombs on targets in Afghanistan. The raid is believed to have killed 10 people.

In more shocking news: Norway has an airforce.

Why the hell is a 55-year-old woman having a baby? I realize procreation is a God-given right, but come on. She’ll be 68(!) when her daughter graduates highschool. Isn’t that just a tad on the selfish side? The very thought that someone is having sex at age 55 is enough to freak me out. Ewww.

The kicker of the story is that the woman used an egg from her 28 year old daughter and sperm from her husband, fertalized in-virto, to get pregnant. Am I the only one who finds this rather disturbing and incestuous? This is fucked up on so many levels, I don’t even know where to being.

Could the person responsible for this act be related to Mr. I-Have-500-Dogs-In-My-House?

His foster mother, Mary Bryant, 64, said the boy was chained because he stole food, according to police.

“Here’s a woman who’s 64 years old who has six very troubled kids and so she can’t take care of them and starts chaining them to beds,” he said. Five different social service agencies were involved in placing the children, with DCFS as the oversight agency, Murphy said.

So think twice before leaving your kids with crazy 64-year-olds, even if they are grandparents.

What the fuck is wrong with people who do shit like this?

When investigators arrived at the Erickson home, they discovered 300 more dogs than they expected to see when they obtained a search warrant Thursday morning. They found 200 dogs living inside the five-room house and nearly 300 outside. Barb Hutchinson, 2nd Chance president, who helped rescue dogs from the home, said there was a pile of dead dogs on the property.

How does one acquire 500 freaking dogs anyway? Wouldn’t their neighboors have become suspicious at around, say, 30 dogs? Or maybe 100? How can something like this go on long enough for this sick bastard to breed 500 dogs?

The ramshackle 1981 Ford pickup was weaving in and out of morning rush hour traffic with reckless abandon, much like it did every morning at approximately 7:35 AM CST. He races up behind a blue BMW, engine revving high and loud, only to swerve into the other lane at the last second, narrowly avoiding a rear-end collision, and nearly clipping the front of the car in the other lane. Then it starts again. He searches for an opening, no matter how tiny into which he can cram his rusting, exhaust-belching sled of death. If he has none, he rides the bumper of some unfortunate victim, mere feet behind, traveling at speeds of 60+mph.

I assume this scene happens every morning because I have the displeasure of crossing paths with this idiot at least once a week. This is a testament to my predictable morning routine as much as it is to his. I don’t know this person, but I have seen him nearly kill may people. And mark my words, one day I’ll write about seeing his truck among the victims of an accident one morning. It is only a matter of time.

Actually, the inevitable almost happened this morning.

He was doing his usual bob and weave act and evidently got a bit too aggressive. He was about 10 cars ahead of me when I saw him suddenly fishtail, evidently over-correcting after an aborted lane-change. Thank god he was in the inner-most lane or the resulting accident could have been massive and included me. As he fishtailed, people applied their brakes slowly and calmly, almost as if they were expecting it to happen, and gave way for inertia run its course. He ended up on the side of the interstate, turned around facing traffic.

As I passed him, I saw a look of true hatred on his face, as if he was cursing someone for doing this to HIM. Absent was that sobering, gut-wrenching-fear-induced look that people who have scantly escaped a catastrophic accident have experienced.

The truly poetic part of this story is the fact that the inner shoulder where he came to a stop is only wide enough for a single car. He had absolutely no room to turn around until there was a very large break in traffic for at least two, perhaps all three lanes. I watched him search for his a way back into the flow until he vanished in my rear-view mirror as I crested an overpass. I imagine the fact that he had to sit and wait patiently for the heavy morning rush hour traffic to abate was just as humiliating as his knowing everyone who passed him both recognized his vehicle and why he was in such a strange position in the first place.

Singer Bobby Brown sentenced to 8 days in jail for drunken driving

You know your career is over when the media starts referring to you as [job-title] [insert-name-here].

“Singer Bobby Brown….”

Funny, you don’t see “Singer Britney Spears….”, or “Actress Julia Roberts….”

It’s like the media feels the need to remind us who this person is. “Hey remember the bum loser singer who had a single hit in 1989, Bobby Brown?”

Too bad this couldn’t have read “Singer Bobby Brown and wife found dead of drug overdose.”