Looks like there has been even more interest in the comments I posted back in January about Suicide Chat Rooms. Turns out that this site is the #1 hit when someone googles for “suicide chat rooms. Very strange.
I have no idea how Google does their hit placement, but the traffic has been increasing with every passing day.
I’ve had many emails from people wanting to know where they could get information about suicide prevention or talk to someone after someone close to them has committed suicide. I can’t personally vouch for any of these sites, but here are some of the ones I ran across.
Questions about Suicide.
Good link for people who are feeling suicidal
A list of suicide hotlines by state
Handling a phone call from a suicidal person
There is no telling what kind of strange people you’ll encounter in a chat room. At least with these resources, you’ll have someone with no ulterior motives to talk with.
June 30th, 2003 at 7:34 am
HI i wood like to join ur chat line services plz thank you goodbi
July 7th, 2003 at 1:52 pm
i need help i am very sucidal and need help
July 16th, 2003 at 10:35 pm
at this time i’m feeling very depressed and low and i really need to talk to someone now.
July 17th, 2003 at 12:36 am
i’m really scared right now, i dont know what to do. I’ve gone through so much it seems i have no choice please help me.
July 18th, 2003 at 9:32 pm
[Moderated: content removed at user’s request]
July 21st, 2003 at 10:20 pm
look all yoy ass holes you muther fucks ….im JUST ABOUT TO PULL THH FUCKIN TRIGGER
I guessnim loolking for a reasojn not to pull the trigger….is there anyone out there?
IM DEAD and it feels so thankfully good…oh yes…………………….
July 22nd, 2003 at 9:43 am
okay i am feeling so suicidal right now. my parents are not understanding. they don’t know how it feels to be a teenager anymore even though they say they do. they are so sexiest. this is what makes me turn to suicide i think that if i do it then i won’t have to deal with there shit and stupid rules anymore!
July 24th, 2003 at 2:16 pm
ur perents might not know what its like 2 be a teenager but nobody’s do. and what they say and do is probably bull shit, but there just doing what they’ve always done. u need to reeducate them tell them how ur feelin not just stop speekin 2 um, and maby u could come 2 some sorta agree ment. why r they sexist?
July 24th, 2003 at 2:19 pm
p.s. do u want 2 talk?
July 25th, 2003 at 9:50 am
i hav a friend, and they told me they might kill themselves last night. i talked to him 4 awhile online but he just sounded the same and he just signed off on me. i told him i luved him but i dk. i called him 3 times last night tryin 2 get him on the phone around 130 cause he said he would decide @ 2. he wouldnt answer and he said if he isnt on by noon, hes dead and its almost 11 i dk what to do. i kno no1 will reply to me b4 i found out, i guess i just wanted to talk or somthin i dk…
July 25th, 2003 at 10:50 am
i dk what to do, my friend didnt com online and he isnt answering the phone. if he killed himself id like never forgiv my self. this so sucks i hav no clu what to do. this is a rele great guy, pleeease somone tell me what to dooo.
July 25th, 2003 at 11:53 am
my friend is ok i finally got him on the phone. but i know hes still depressed, i only got through to him 4 one night. how can i get him help now?
July 27th, 2003 at 3:05 pm
hey everyone. um…i want to kill myself and i REALLY need someone to talk to about it, becasue no one i know understands. so if someone can just email me and talk to me, and give me some reasons not to kill myself, i’d appreciate it. bye
July 29th, 2003 at 1:02 pm
i hate my self i have tried to end my life so many times, my and dad both died in a car crash and i am only 16 , i want to be with them so much and i will soon, this is my last good bye to my family and the world
August 1st, 2003 at 6:14 am
Hello there. Im new here
August 1st, 2003 at 6:15 am
Life is really messed up, ya know? I feel like I want to just kill myself
August 3rd, 2003 at 3:54 am
hello…
August 3rd, 2003 at 3:05 pm
Hi, I’m looking for a chat room on survivors of suiside, can anyone help? Thanks
August 4th, 2003 at 2:33 pm
I just deleted an abusive comment by user “skimmer”.
If you can not be civil, please don’t post here.
August 4th, 2003 at 3:04 pm
A lot of shit has happend to me and it continuing to happen to me. Nothing seems to work. Consulers, talking to friends, nothing. I need help but my parents won’t get me help. I need someone to confide in.
August 4th, 2003 at 9:50 pm
i didn’t mean to be abusive. i totally forgot what i said……something like how people should stop whining yeah that was it. okay. don’t think of it that way. i just want people to go and do something about it. if you’re all depressed you probably don’t like doing things and stuff, but force yourself.
i’m on two anti-depressents and an anti-psychotic. (why would they do that? i just have a different view of the world.) i’m not the kind of person to be all crying for no reason. they same i’m different. i’m killing myself not because i’m depressed. i have no future! i hate that…
yeah. the world is messed up. but just think about why you’re killing yourself for a second. is it society? that’s kinda what it is for me. but a former suicidal zen student (my hero) told me, “life is fucking beatiful.” yeah sure it can be, but it’s hard not to see the good. don’t try to just look at the good. MAKE SOME CHANGES!!!1
i’m too lazy and i feel like killing myself instead.
August 7th, 2003 at 11:05 pm
my last night on earth and i am spending it in front of a computer.
August 9th, 2003 at 1:59 pm
im very good at giving advice i suffered through alot of things in my life and i no how it feels. helping people helps me if u no what i mean if u need advice email me and i might be able to help i helped alot of people and if u have a problem i might be the answere 4 u
August 9th, 2003 at 8:09 pm
Hi,
My mother just committed suicide on July 26, 2003. I am just trying to cope with her death and asking myself all these questions that I can’t answer. I need to talk about it. I need to go on with my life. I need a friend…. listen to me.
Nat
August 11th, 2003 at 6:10 am
You people ever heard of spell check?
August 11th, 2003 at 7:34 am
I have been suicidal the past 20 years. I am 30 now. I still have every intention of committing suicide. I am sad to think that I will be leaving my 3 children motherless but they are strong. They will be OK in the long run. For some people there are no options. I hate to think of anyone else being as miserable as myself but there just are some people that will never get better. I do not believe in God, I am spiritual though and believe in some sort of afterlife. I believe if one suffers greatly in this life that they are bound for some relief in the next life. I am ready to move on.
August 12th, 2003 at 6:34 pm
Hi, my name is Katie. I just wanted to let everyone know that I know what your going through. I am here if anyone ever needs to talk. I have suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for a long time. I am now 21 years old, and would love to help anyone who wants to talk. just e-mail me
August 18th, 2003 at 3:46 am
we have been cutting ourselves since a very young age. we came together because of this and now were best friends but we still have a lot of probs as for; beccis dad commited suicide when she was 6, i was sexually abused when i was 13 and so on and so forth. we need to talk to someone and let our feelings out a different way. we dont really want to take our lives we just get overwehlming feelings. maybe if u help us, we’ll help you?
August 19th, 2003 at 9:03 pm
My friends and i have got into a huge fight n they hate me now..they really do..im feelin not so great right now..n i really need to talk to some1 about it..
August 20th, 2003 at 5:58 pm
Its funny to me how people need to talk about their porblems. Its as if they will magically disapear. I have been suicidal for well over ten years now (I’m 28), and talking about it has done absolutely nothing. The problems stay and new ones keep comming. And all through it the people around you tell you to “hang on” and “things will get better”. Well things did not get better, and frankly I have had it with life.
Perhaps I should take an anit-depressant so I can go through my pathetic life with a cartoon like smile on my face. Or I choose to end it while I still have some dignity, before I reach the point where I break down crying in public.
To all you out there that are going through a depression phase where you feel bad but dont know why- talk about it and get help. For all of you with serious problems thats not going to do a damn thing. At least I dont think so. Life is like a boxing match, you can choose to get up after a punch but there comes a time when you’ve taken such a beating its just not worth playing anymore.
Oh, and if anyone cares, my life hinges on an event in the near future. If that goes wrong too then thats it.
August 20th, 2003 at 8:28 pm
i’ve been on anti-depressents for a year and they haven’t made me happy. if you do start taking anti-depressents you might be disappointed at how they do absolutely nothing.
and 10 years!! all that time…bitching and whining about life. i’ve been suicidal for 4 years but it hasn’t been much of a problem. when you kill yourself you don’t have a problem to contend with. so you might as well do it.
August 21st, 2003 at 8:59 am
You are right Skimmer. It is the only way to make sure you get rid of problems (and regret). Just for the record, I’ve done relatively little bitching about life in my ten years. At least compared to what you’d expect for such a long periond of time.
August 21st, 2003 at 1:42 pm
I’ve just lost the most important person in my life. i was hoping that my world would come to an end and take me with him. but it didn’t happen. Alan, you’re right. for four months, i’ve been talking, and bitching and crying but none of it helps. i have people telling me to “cheer up” and “hang on”. they promise me that everything will better, but nothing is and nothing can be. my B/F died and nothing will ever return him. i’m tired of everybody giving the same shit line that i have to stick it out, that it can’t get any worse, that everything will be better. bullshit. i’m done. i’ve really had it.
August 21st, 2003 at 4:39 pm
i love you all
August 21st, 2003 at 4:41 pm
Hey, you have to look on the bright side. It might be a nice day tomorrow or the germans might all fly to the moon! anythings possible if you just give it time to happen. I like being happy, it’s lovely!
August 21st, 2003 at 4:43 pm
Wow! Some of you people have been suicidal for a long time! Why not take a holiday or even better, take it out on someone you don’t like. Theres nothing like getting someones back up. And if your having trouble sleeping, drink coffee and you won’t have to sleep at all!
August 21st, 2003 at 8:31 pm
you so crazay
August 25th, 2003 at 10:01 am
I’m going through some very tough/strange times. I’ve never used a chat room before thought what do I have to loose!
August 28th, 2003 at 5:06 pm
k so I just found this page, n i’m feeling really bad n I dunno….I need 2 tlk,
August 28th, 2003 at 6:15 pm
whats up so long?
August 29th, 2003 at 1:34 pm
you ever feel like your allready dead inside n everything is just acid on the outside of your skin ? I think i’m losing touch with reality n I’m not sure I wana wade back…just let go…
August 30th, 2003 at 2:07 am
Life is a mirror- two sides are grey.
Seems so fucked up, but at least your still here,
Open your eyes, Your traveling offside.
Let yourself go out, dont be so queer,
Life has its changes, changes so near.
Makes me twisted, insides and out.
So i hope you chock on your suicide note.
Leave outside, outside she’ll see.
Maybe this time you’ll give a damn.
Maybe this you’ll see it was me.
Maybe this time i wont assert myself
to a life that leads off the cliff.
August 31st, 2003 at 10:51 pm
there is a difference between your and you’re. i hope you know that. and what the hell is chock?
September 2nd, 2003 at 5:01 pm
i feel very lonely someone has just betrayed me. I have no one to talk to. I was really close to doing it to today. I had all my pills on the table. but my phone rang and it was my friend on the the other line she made me forget about for a while but i cant help feeling like that again . what should I do?????
September 4th, 2003 at 11:06 pm
i held the blade in trembling hands prepared to make it but…just then the phone rang..i never had the nerve to make the final cut. pink floyd teehee
all you really gotta do is do some drugs that’ll mess up your brain for like a few weeks, go see a psychiatrist, get some anti-psychotics, and you’ll be set! they really help to keep me from thinking about stuff. i actually plan on doing this..again. it’s fun to waste people’s time!
September 5th, 2003 at 6:40 am
Today is my 31st birthday. Never thought I would make it this long, nor do I want to. I am trapped here, under constant supervision. That is what happens when you are a “career psycho”and make half-assed attempts. I have spent so much time bitching but if I am forced to live against my will then everyone will just have to listen to me whine and bitch. I admit, as a teenager I knew how to get attention by acting “crazy” but it is such a habit now and the longer my life drags on and on the more sincere my wish to die becomes. Yes, it is possible to be suicidal for 20 years.
September 5th, 2003 at 1:31 pm
you are right. you can be suicidal for a very long time. but it doesn’t matter because we haven’t actually killed ourselves. there is a difference between thinking and doing.
September 7th, 2003 at 7:00 am
Well i have read all your comments. I lost a loved one through suicide but he didn’t ever oncetalk about it he just did it…which makes me feel that you all just need a shoulder to cry on..someone to listen and not offer advice…so here i am..
September 7th, 2003 at 2:24 pm
I feel like I have already wasted so many peoples time. Just wish I could end it peacefully. I feel so guilty. Anyone have a garage or reasonably air tight storage area I could park my car in for a few hours?
September 8th, 2003 at 7:09 am
Hey Christopher, how come you deleted my posts? They included some genuine and helpful information for suicidal people. Do you perhaps NOT want people to get help? Is this message board for just for your jollies? Do you get a kick out of watching people struggle and maybe die thanks to your insensitivity? I don’t get it.
September 8th, 2003 at 7:10 am
Anyone else notice that all of Debbie’s postings have been deleted too?
September 8th, 2003 at 7:48 am
I am happy to see this board, I need to vent at times and carefully consider my next attempt in hopes of being successful and I have not found any other place that is not preaching to me about some imaginary “God” who supposedly “loves” me but has never done anything but annoy me. I was actually hoping to find a place to possibly find someone else who is at this point of desperation and make a pact or something. I hope that there is no one suffering as I am but obviously there is. Life is not so “wonderful” and it irritates me when people think that it is. I mean I don’t want anyone else to be this miserable but life is not great for everyone. I think people should have the right to end their life if they so choose. I am still searching for a surefire way to get this over with already. Some of the methods I have read about online just are not feasible and practical and some are just plain ugly and gory. I am a delicate, dainty girl and want a prettier ending. I am thinking asphyxiation, park my car in a garage or something….. I admit, I am selfish and lazy but I am honest and sometimes people do not like the truth.
September 9th, 2003 at 1:28 pm
buy like 12 ounces of cough syrup that has more than one active ingredient. it will definitely kill you. if it just has one (dextromethorphan) you’ll actually have a really good time…you’ll think differently and not be able to walk well. it lasts about 5 hours but time goes by very slowly. and if you do that much you might have a hangover that lasts for a day or two. but this hangover is unlike a hangover from alcohol. it actually feels good!
my plan was to do that and cut my wrists. dxm is a dissociative so you won’t feel a thing.
September 9th, 2003 at 4:31 pm
I haven’t deleted any posts except ones that were spamming porn links.
Make sure you’re using the right thread to respond to. There are two popular ones at lurid:
http://www.lurid.org/archives/000199.html
and
http://www.lurid.org/archives/000110.html
The second one has many more posts than this one.
–Christopher.
September 9th, 2003 at 5:07 pm
Sometimes people are sad for good reasons.
Sometimes there is no good reason.
If there are not really good reasons for being sad then it could be that you are just having a chemical imbalance in your brain. That is what happened to me. I went and got help and not I can make it through the day.
GET HELP!!!!! IT IS OUT THERE!!!!
September 10th, 2003 at 8:31 am
Whoops! My mistake, Christopher. I am sincerely sorry. I had no idea there were two “threads” about suicide on this site. I hope everyone can understand my concern and upset when it *appeared* that my genuinely helpful posts were deleted. Again, Christopher, my apologies to you.
September 10th, 2003 at 8:38 am
Hi. For anyone in crisis now, PLEASE go here and read this:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
or call: 1-800-SUICIDE
Already read it or called? Read it again, or call again — please.
I also ran across this FREE BOOK that you can download and read. It’s called “Suicide: The Forever Decision” available here:
http://www.qprinstitute.com/Forever.htm
Click on “Click here to download the book” at the bottom. The other links will help you download WinZip and Acrobat Reader, if you need them. It’s only 1 meg, so it’s a fairly quick download, even over a modem.
I am about halfway through it and I have found it to be very helpful. The author is up-front and frank about suicide, and his perspectives could change your mind or at least postpone your “Forever Decision”. Please download and read this free book. Contact me by email if you need help with Acrobat or WinZip.
Don’t believe anyone out there cares? Well check out this site:
http://www.spanusa.org/resources.html
which has a TON of links to just SOME of the organizations out there wanting to help YOU. There are thousands of people who are working to help you survive, even though they don’t even know you. How’s THAT for caring?
You *do* matter to lots of people.
Why am I writing this? Do you think I have no idea what you are going through (so what the hell do I know anyway)? Well, look at my post at:
http://www.lurid.org/archives/000199.html
on August 20, 2003 (by “mike”). I get it. I really do.
So please check out the links above. Read the book. Call a friend or therapist or relative to talk. Take your meds (or go get evaluated). Think of something you can do to help someone else today or tomorrow, and go do it. Trust me, it will help. Repeat the above as necessary.
There is a way out — and it’s not death. I promise.
September 13th, 2003 at 8:22 am
if youre thinking of committing suicide at this moment, please take just 5 minutes to read these few lines. it would make me so happy to know i’ve saved someones life, please read…….
Think of me
when you don’t want to live
Think of me
when you feel you have nothing left to give
Think of me
when you are sad
Think of me
when you are glad
Think of me
when you cry yourself to sleep
Think of me
when you cut yourself deep
Think of me
when you grab the knife
Think of me
when you try to take your life
Think of me
when you see your blood begin to flow
Think of me
and how I don’t want you to go
Think of me
and how much I care
Think of me
and how I’m always there
Think of me
and how much I’d miss you
Think of me
and how much I love you
Think of me
when you want to die
Think of me
Maybe it’ll change your mind
September 14th, 2003 at 5:39 am
i have just spent 3 days in the house! the other night i prepared everything! i wrote a note! i dissolved a cocktail of pills in a drink! started getting drunk and then…i couldn’t go through with it! now i hate myself even more for being such a coward! my partner killed himself nearly 4 years ago! i don’t want to live anymore! nothing gives me pleasure nor my friends nor my job,nothing! can someone help me to find the courage to go through with it? please help me to die!
September 14th, 2003 at 5:47 am
this is no fucking chat room!
September 14th, 2003 at 5:00 pm
at least 10,000 people die every single day.
Does it really matter?
Individually …… we are nothing, and we mean nothing.
September 14th, 2003 at 8:42 pm
I Lost my daughter and friend 6 months ago to
suicide. Her husband died in a fatal accident on
monday, and she shot herself in the head tuesday
with a sawed off shot gun. WE were outside 20ft
away when we heard the gunshot. We had to see
her laying there on the floor dead. I cry for her
everyday. The grief of lossing her is to tremendous.
I miss her so much! She was 19 yrs old, but to me
she was still my baby. and for the rest of my life I
will have those terrible sounds and visions. the pain is so terrible, I feel black inside, like cancer is
consuming me. If your suicidal PLEASE tell some-
one, a parent, teacher,aunt, grandparent or friend.
There is help out there!!! Just keep looking till you
find it.Your life is very important to someone! Lisa
September 15th, 2003 at 7:18 pm
none is right. we should kill ourselves with no remorse, or not kill ourselves and go on living. you should know by now that it doesn’t really matter. wait…should you? i guess most people don’t realize it.
September 16th, 2003 at 11:36 pm
i dont think that i can go on living anymore. too much is going wrong and where there was once a bright side is now just a lonely shadow. no one listens. no one cares. im not allowed to be selfish. my tears wont even come anymore. my “problems” may seem so small to other people but i was not built to handle all that i have been through. i think the only way to end all of this turmoil that i feel inside is to end it permantly. cutting doesnt even ease my pain anymore. it is the only option left.
September 18th, 2003 at 11:31 pm
i just need to talk to someone before things get worse.
September 19th, 2003 at 5:44 pm
just 2 say I know how it feels to be suicidal n if any1…michelle may-b? does want to tlk u can mail me 4 a chat or add me to ur msn messenger if u have it :misplaced_wound@hotmail.com
I don’t want to preach at you I promise, just to listen if you need somebody who won’t judge to say something to.
September 20th, 2003 at 3:27 pm
you know how people say “get on anti-depressants, get help cuz this isn’t healthy”…i’ve heard that all my teenage life. ever since i turned 12, suicide has been on my mind and i have never been able to get it out. i’ve tried pills, hanging, knives, sufercation…you name it…damnit ppl…no shit its not healthy, but how the hell would you like it if every fuckin day of ur damn life was just like the last???? if you had to endure the pain of betting beat, and getting told that they would wish you would just die? i know that you’d probably say that there just kidding get a life rite??? fuck you, its not easy when ur depressed and you cant accept life for the way it is. its hard enough being a fuckin 16 year old without having everyone criticize every move you make. i know i need help…but help cant find me and even if it did it wouldn’t do any good. so fuckin stop saying to just get on anti-depressants and try a day in our shoes.
September 20th, 2003 at 3:36 pm
will someone please talk to me i need help and i cant stand the fact that i’m living on this earth…please someone
September 20th, 2003 at 9:22 pm
Dear Maggz, I know life as a teenager is hard, I remember, I was one. Grew up with mental, verbal
emotional and physically abuse. Tried suicide at the age of 14. During the years from 14 to 30, I probably had over 500.000 thoughts of suicide!!!
I’m 40 now, and life ain’t easy!!! It had it’s ups &
downs, curves,and bumps. Its your challenge to
win these. You are almost 18 and then you can do
what you want. Just hang on! The sun has to shine on you sometime!!! There was also love, joy,
happiness after I moved out on my own. Life never stays the same. It is always changing! Lisa
September 21st, 2003 at 4:35 pm
Lisa
Thank you for replying, i know that life will always have its ups and downs, but sometimes for me its too hard to bear. i don’t know how much longer i can take it, but i have been holding on to my so called life for four years now, and its been hard, but i keep thinking maybe, just maybe it will get better. maybe by the time im your age i’ll understand life a little bit better, people tell me that if im not open enough i wont get better or i have to just forget it. i have been open, and i have told ppl how my problems have effected my life. they just dont understand. hell, i dont understand. but anyway, lisa, thank you for replying. i really appreciate it.
September 21st, 2003 at 10:13 pm
Just a quick note. I’m looking for some support with an evening of alcohol and then subsequent upset and attempted drug overdose. I’ve managed with symptoms of bipolar for several years, and have worked hard to treat myself right. Yes, I’ve had suicidal thoughts during numerous periods, but never acted (even symbolically- like a drug OD) before. I had a very high blood alcohol level which I’m sure was a precipitant. I’m just afraid of myself even more (the unstable me) versus the “professional” outwardly “normal” me. I guess that’s it. Thanks.
September 22nd, 2003 at 7:34 pm
i never thought i would write to one of these things, i am a fucked up girl, who needs help. my family sux, and i never want to live. i always come so close to killing myself, but one day i might really go though with it. help and talk to me
September 23rd, 2003 at 1:46 am
I really, really need to talk to someone. I am about to kicked out of school, I actually hate it here, but I hate home even more. I don’t know what to do, I just keep thinking about how easy it would be, how painless…there are so many ways and all of them keep running through my head. I feel so alone, I have no one to talk to. I hate the people at this school, but I need to stay here. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I get kicked out……I wish someone would just do it for me. I find myself walking alone really late at night, hoping that some maniac will murder me, I know that’s really sick, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’ve battled with depression since I was 11 and now I’m 18…I’m just sick of feeling this way….
September 23rd, 2003 at 4:49 pm
I have been posting on these boards for about a month or so now and I have made an observation, it seems like a lot of females who have posted, adults and teenagers seem to have developed depression and suicidal thoughts around 11 or 12 years old or close to that. I was first hospitalized at 11 years old and medicated at age 12. I do not understand why this seems to be so common. I do not have any insight on this but it is interesting. Does anyone have any answers, my daughter is only 5 right now but I hate to think in a few years she may be battling this too. I guess I know more than some what to watch for but I may not even be here that long to watch her grow up. Life sucks. I just wish someone was interested in my suicide pact idea… I just need a damn garage!!!
September 23rd, 2003 at 7:12 pm
Why does everyone think that the other side is better???? It may be worse!!! At least here, you know what your dealing with. Psychic’s say that
when you commit suicide, that you are sent to a
gray room, and you have to feel the feelings of everyone you hurt by your death…Then you are sent back to a similiar life, with the same problems and situations! And you stay here until you get it right!
Take your depression medicine, if one kind doesn’t
work, try another kind. I tried 10 different kinds before I found the right one for me… Remember this—Every problem has a solution, you just have to find it!!!!! And it’s not SUICIDE !!!!
September 23rd, 2003 at 11:39 pm
well you shouldn’t make it sound like anti-depressents are the right way, Lisa, else you may be flamed! weeee
and erica. maybe you should attempt suicide. whether you fail or not doesn’t matter. i can’t really explain… it just feels right. so then,
i was going to kill myself last weekend, but i started doing something that’s actually kind of fun (advertising for our band that doesn’t exist). when should i kill myself?
September 24th, 2003 at 1:57 pm
my heart has been broken once again by a guy. i don’t know what i am doing wrong. i keep thinking that if i can’t make someone happy how can i make myself happy. i hate life. i hate being hurt. i keep getting hurt. i hurt my family by being depressed all the time. so what is the point of me even being here.
September 24th, 2003 at 3:16 pm
ANNOUNCEMENT
I’ve finally installed a live chat room for you guys to use.
If you scroll to the top of the screen here and over to the right hand side, you’ll see a button that says “Suicide Chat”. Click that button and you’ll be taken to a real, live chat room where you can register your screen names and chat your brains out.
The direct link is http://lurid.org/chat/phpMyChat.php3
–Christopher
September 29th, 2003 at 4:19 pm
Well I guess I’ve tried to kill myself millions of times.Well I’m 15 now I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was nine. I wish I could make it go away But at times I feel so damn loney and worthless. I tried to drown myself recently but my cousin found me She also saved me when I tried to stab myself
with a butcher knife I tried to overdose on advil and tynelol but it didn’t work. nothing happene I took a whole damn bottle.Well ciggarettes are helping feel better and so is the weed. I want someone to help me I need someone to tell me how to make it go away Iwant to be happy yet I feel i’ll always be miserable
September 30th, 2003 at 5:53 am
I am now 42 years old and have been suicidal since I was about 9 or 10. I am from a dysfunctional family. A victim of sexual, physical and mental abuse. Married 6 times and still havent found what I’m looking for. I long for death and have prayed to die since I was 13. My daughter hates me and tells me this often. My current husband doesnt want to touch me in any kind of way. Cant seem to keep close friends and I want to be alone all the time. I keep hearing my Mothers voice from long ago-your no good-your no good. I have no reason to live and will carry through with this one day soon.
October 11th, 2003 at 10:51 am
I am sick due to a medical situation and don’t really
have hope for a cure. I can’t work, feel like death
and no money for getting real help if anything would help. My quality of life is zero.
My life has been shit for at least 9 years. I’m in my
thirties. I figure in another 10 or 15 years I’d be middle aged anyway. I already bought a gun last year to kill myself but couldn’t go through with it.
My fear/concern is that if my situation gets worse,
I will end up in a bad situation medically with no
control whatsoever over my own life. It’s hard enough to kill yourself while you are in good health.
I haven’t found one good foolproof method of suicide which I can’t believe.
I’m not religous either, so I don’t believe I will
end up in heaven. I don’t really know what will
happend to me.
October 18th, 2003 at 6:02 pm
Anyone want to chat about our terrible afflictions
email me.
O yeah and if anyones got a magic potion to cure fucking depression drop me a line…
Please someone contact………
October 19th, 2003 at 2:19 pm
For those who are thinking about suicide, please rethink it. Please think about your family and friends who love you and the pain that they will incur if you decide to take your life. The pain and the hurt NEVER goes away. We will remember this until our last days on this earth. We think about it every day, throughout the day and at the end of the day. I know this because My brother who was my best friend, killed his wife and then himself in 2001. We later found out that he was taking medication for severe depression for several years after serving in Operation Desert Storm in Saudi Arabia in 1991. This made it even more difficult because we had no idea he was suffering from severe depression. His behavior remained the same around us. He was a very humorous and outgoing person. He hide this disease very well.
Please get some help and know that God loves you. He loves you soooooooooo much that he gave this world his only begotten son - Jesus Christ - who died on the cross for our sins in order for us to have eternal life. THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE.
If you would like to talk, please feel free to email me.
Keep the faith.
GOD BLESS!
Michelle
October 21st, 2003 at 5:36 pm
There are many times that all I want to do is die.
October 24th, 2003 at 9:57 pm
hi i am amber and i’m having a bad year i know it’s probably not as bad as what other people have gone through. but for me i feel like i need a way out….heres what has happened to me….my boyfreind of almost 2 years dumped me… made almost everyone hate me his family included…the girl that he dumped me for seems to constinitly saying something to my bestfriend about me…i tryed so hard to keep my ex i was really inlove with him but he did so many things to hurt me i guess after the things he did and said i shouldn’t care about him but i do…i know he has a girlfreind well it’s the girl that i tryed to keep away from him while we were together because she was always trying to get his attention and i knwo that he loved me atleast some point in time while he was with me but she ended up winning…it kills me to see him in the hallways at school with her but i can’t do anything about it because he has absolutley nothing to do with me…honestly i dont’ see how you can love a person one day and then not love them the next but i guess thats why people change there minds right? sometimes it seems like i’m getting some of the freinds back that he made think i was crazy but then other days it doesn’t seem like it…it’s hard going from homecoming princess to nothing but thats life right? i try really hard to get along with everyone but it doesn’t seem to matter anymore…i try to be happy in life but no matter what i do something always holds me back…today i went to go get my permitt and i failed i feel really dissapointed in myself but what can i do nothing.. i have a job well i just got it 2 days ago but doesn’t seem like i’ll be keeping it because the lady doesn’t know if she wants me to work or not…i’m trying to grow up and prove myself to my parents but it only seems like i fail… i feel like nothing and thats a really hard feeling to have….it’s been 5 months since shad left me and i know you shouldn’t hold on to a person that doesn’t love you back that long but i’m stupid and hoping that one day he’ll realize that i love him and make his parents like me again and try to get back with me… i feel so sad because i hold that weight on my shoulder everyday that i had something great but i must have done something wrong and then on top of that weight i hold that i’m a failer and will never be anything in life…lifes what you make it and i understand that but no one seems to understand i try to make it fun i try to be happy but something always holds me back and i’m just tired of feeling like i’m nothing and have nothing to live for…i’m sorry if this anoys anyone but over all i have gone through alot in life when i was 3 my dad left us and the following year my brother klayton was killed in front of my house by the bus…my step dad is going to aa classes because he got in trouble for driving under the influence..my mother is great she has always been there for me but some times she just doens’t understand what it’s like to go from being something to nothing…i have 2 great best freinds but right now they seem to be the only freinds i have and it drives me nuts i wasn’t the most popular girl in school but i use to have so many people that liked me untill the end of last year when shad had to make himself look like the good person that i hurt when he was the one that dumped me and completely trashed me… i just want for someone to understand me and what i’m going through but no one around here seems to understand…. i’m 17 and i know people probably think that i’m stupid for even thinking about dying but i’m sorry i hate the thought of waking up everyday and knowing i have to either go to school or feel like nothing…. i am to much of a coward to do anything to myself though and because of that that is the only reason why i am still here… i know that i am young and many people think that teenagers dont’ know what love is but i’m sorry we do know what love is if we didn’t how would we know how to love our family or friends? but love isn’t the only thing that has been hurting me so please don’t think i am crazy because i’m not it just seems like for me right now when i think things can’t get worse they do and i dont’ know what to do to help myself i’m sorry to take up your time
amber long
October 27th, 2003 at 4:37 pm
hi i am a new user i dont really no how to log in but i am hoping this message will send i am a very nice person and i would really like to help you
October 27th, 2003 at 4:37 pm
hi i am a new user i dont really no how to log in but i am hoping this message will send i am a very nice person and i would really like to help you
October 27th, 2003 at 4:43 pm
hi i would also like to join but do not no how please help
November 1st, 2003 at 2:48 pm
Need someone to talk to bad? If there is anyone who can help let me soon. I do not now how much time I can go on like this. If any body care let me now
November 2nd, 2003 at 1:02 am
For the past two years I have been searching for someone to talk with, someone who cares, someone who doesn’t know me as the person I am “supposed” to be, but rather the person who I am inside. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about killing myself. In fact, I look forward to thinking about ending my life, yet no one knows how I feel. School is going great, I have many friends, family is completely normal, and yet I feel as though there is a cloud over me constantly. I am in first year university and I currently have a girlfriend, but I know that our relationship is near an end. I have NEVER had a meaningful relationship, nothing has ever lasted. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a girlfriend, just someone to speak with.
You may be asking yourself why I haven’t told anyone how I feel; well, I come from a family of great expectations, and all my friends, teammates, teachers, and siblings have always seen me as a person who is so upbeat, athletic and… well, perfect.
For ANYONE who believes in religion, I come from an extremely religious christian background, and recently me telling my mother of my lack of “faith” made her cry. I can argue scientific, rational, and historical evidence against religion, but I’d rather not create a thesis paper. Furthermore, my parents are completely authoritarian, I am nationally ranked for debating, and have won numerous track and field, volleyball, and baseball awards and championships, IT ALL MEANS NOTHING. When I can’t rationally argue with my parents about a reasonable topic, when my parents only response is “because I said so” it reminds me of why I don’t care for my family. I have a mere respect for my parents for my upbringing, nothing more. I don not love them, in fact, this may sound harsh, but there has been numerous occasions when I was trying to determine how long I would be incarcerated for if I were to kill my father, mother, brothers, and sisters in their sleep.
I have tried to kill myself once before, I tied a grocery bag around my head and planned to succumb to death by means of lack of oxygen to the brain. The only reason I am here is because my dog licked my face and woke me up.
I don’t regret trying to kill myself, I have even made a revised method that is painless, and failproof.
I guess why I wrote this is to try and find someone to talk to. If you were to see me in the street, grocery store, movie theatre, baseball diamond, you would never know. I’m not the stereotypical loner, who is uneducated and violent. I have no past of violence, no rapsheet, I am actually a coach for youth sports, a captain for numerous teams, but once again, I don’t care anymore.
*this is for any parents*
First off, I am in residence for university, but when I was at home, my parents didn’t respect any privacy that I AM entitled to. They opened my mail, they listened in on my phone calls, they searched my clothing when they thought I was asleep. Don’t do that, honestly, I have thought about killing my family more times than I have thought about my so called future. I wouldn’t say this is directly due to my lack of personal space, but moreso from a culmination of things. Freud would call my posting tonight catharsis, but it is too late. I have a father who screams to assert dominance, who has hit me before, and a mother who is a mere shadow in his presence. Recently, my parents refused to let me join the Canadian Reserves for summer employment because they said that “…the reserves are for blacks, and under-privaledged people”. I have been screamed at so much that I feel nothing anymore, my father relies on his screaming to frighten my family into obedience, but I hear it now and I just wish he would hit me so I could justify killing him.
So parents, don’t be snoops (I don’t do drugs, I drink occasionally but hey it’s university) I’m a great son, brother, coach, athlete, and boyfriend and it wasn’t because my parents had me on a short leash . All the snooping just pissed me off, trust your kids, let them do what they want, don’t be authoritarian, let them put up a valid argument, and most important, don’t EVER hit your kids.
I’m not going to try and stop anyone from killing themselves, if you’re going to do it, at least kill some assholes who should’ve died years ago, then put yourself away. If you’re going to die anyway, you might as well commit crimes that would lock you up the rest of your life so that you’ll follow through with the suicide.
Anyhow, I should get some homework done, but sorry for any dark insight that I’ve given anyone tonight, I’ll make a bogus email for people to email me if they want to talk. I should have another post done tommorow. Good night, and just remember, you have no idea when a person is feeling suicidal, my parents don’t know, but now you all do, a bunch of nicknames with a blanket of annonymity.
Cheers.
November 2nd, 2003 at 1:22 am
Well I got my email all set up.
MikeIke_17@hotmail.com
I don’t want any religious zealots mailing me, I have so much info and factual proof against religion I’d rather not waste my time. There’s a reason why the vast majority of educated individuals DO NOT believe in religion. Religion is a soother for the masses, an emotional crutch that is as synthetic as depression medication. I want meaningful discussion, not all this “god loves you” chat.
November 5th, 2003 at 8:40 pm
im going crazy!!! i need help, my life jus keeps getting worse and i dont know wut to do. my mind is ripping me up inside. please somebody help me!!
November 5th, 2003 at 8:40 pm
im going crazy!!! i need help, my life jus keeps getting worse and i dont know wut to do. my mind is ripping me up inside. please somebody help me!!
November 5th, 2003 at 8:41 pm
im going through so much right now and i need someone to talk to! no one understands how i feel…please somebody help me
November 5th, 2003 at 8:42 pm
is anyone out there????? please i need someone to talk to!!!!
November 5th, 2003 at 9:03 pm
im young and im going through so much!!!! please someone answer me!!! i think tonight is the night i will die!!!
November 7th, 2003 at 12:44 pm
I am sick of my dread full life.And i hate my self. im going to go kill myself bye!!!!!!!!!!
November 15th, 2003 at 11:29 pm
I really believe I can make a difference. Please E-mail me at carecare99@hotmail.com
November 18th, 2003 at 9:32 am
I keep trying in life but I have now had enough. I dont want to talk, who cares anyway? It must be me who cares and I dont now, Too many things going wrong. No one will miss me and I dont give a shit any more anyway. Malc
November 18th, 2003 at 9:35 am
I keep trying in life but I have now had enough. I dont want to talk, who cares anyway? It must be me who cares and I dont now, Too many things going wrong. No one will miss me and I dont give a shit any more anyway. Malc
November 18th, 2003 at 8:35 pm
i’m feeling a bit depressed at the moment, i felt depressed when i was about 12 13 which comes from discovering your body i reckon. now i’m 18 and ive been running a lot, im hopefully gonna do the london marathon in april. i recommend running to everyone, it can make you feel quite empowered and flowing. i cant really talk to people who have had real shit down to them like abuse cos i dont know anything about that, but if you feel people are being shit to you dont thrive off of that emotion turn it around and tell them to fuck themselves(maybe not actually) and do something positive with it. get inspired. do some art. i know an artist who used to shoot her canvass. that could be fun.
November 18th, 2003 at 8:45 pm
to the person who was smoking weed please dont do it, i smoked when i was doing the most importatn exams of my life at the most stressful time of my life and it totally fucked me hard you start having these panic attacks and you think you’re going mad, i felt like i wouldnt wish it on anyone but afterwards i would cos im just a bitterer personw which is shit. smoking weed can be inspiring creative blah blah but jsut dont smoek it when you’re stressed trust me, some people kill themselves after that experience and its the one article that you see in the paper every so often saying someone killed themself cos of dope and you think what thats mad they must have been fukcing crazy, but now i know what that one articles about, so yeah dont smoke when you’re stressed.
November 23rd, 2003 at 5:35 pm
I’m having problems displaying your style sheet - maybe because I’m running safari on OSX?
November 24th, 2003 at 7:53 am
If you’re really having a problem with my stylesheet, please send me an email with the details. chris@lurid.org
If your message was just another vehicle for life insurance spam, which I deleted, please just go away.
November 24th, 2003 at 2:47 pm
What are you supposed to do when your heart is as hard and cold as steel? Hmm, I have come to the conclusion that suicide must be the answer. I am a strong believer in the fact that happiness is based not on power, money, and prestige, but on the relationships you build with other people. So if I have lost my ability to maintain healthy, meaningful relationships with others, then what is the purpose of living? I am immune to death. I lost my best friend to a car crash on prom night, 2002. At the time, I was so wrapped up in a romantic relationship with a guy that completely mutilated my heart and used me for all I was worth, that I couldn’t even focus on my friend’s death, and I feel that that has destroyed me on the inside because I have not really dealt with it. Along with this I can’t look anyone in the face due to a long going case of acne. I dont love myself anymore, therefore have lost my ability to love other people. I can’t even talk to my own family, although I have never been quite capable at doing that, even when I would consider myself, “healthy”. I used to be a funny, out-going, fun person with tons of friends and now I pretty much am left with none. I wake up every morning, just praying for night time to come so I can go back to sleep and escape this hellish reality. I was an exceptional student until high school and from then it went down hill. I dont know what happened to my brain, my intelligence. I just feel worthless and stupid, and above all, hideous. God, I don’t know what to do…carbon monoxide just seems so lovely.
November 25th, 2003 at 4:08 pm
Things dont get any better. I keep hoping that I will turrn the corner but I get yet another let down. Don’t feel I can go on a lot longer. Can’t see the point. It’s inevitable relly I fear. I will have to do the deed.
Malc
November 25th, 2003 at 4:59 pm
to all of u who feel like u are going to commit suicide plz email me and i will try to help you thnx naughtynymphneeky@hotmail.com
November 25th, 2003 at 5:36 pm
I felt exactly the same as most of the people on here a few months ago and sometimes i still do. Im trying hard to pull through and just wondering if any wanted to e-mail me , im not gonna say all that ”oh no dont do it” stuff , I just think that most people on here need someone to talk to , I need someone to talk to and so I’m hoping someone will mail me.
x_goodbyekittie_x@hotmail.com
November 25th, 2003 at 5:39 pm
This is for malc,
Mate there is a light at the end of the tunnel
just remember this
if ya wanna be somebody if ya wanna go some where ya wake up and pay attention.
Feel free to mail me mate
I would love to talk to you
Best wishes
sean
November 25th, 2003 at 5:49 pm
Death is a final commitment. To wish to be dead is one thing, and I am sure that most of you mean it when you think or speak about it. How about if that power is taken out of your hands and it is no longer your decision, ie you find you had a terminal illness. The power is gone. Bet you’d be gutted and start fighting against it. Be strong. Be you. Fuck what’s getting you down. You know you can. You have the strenghth to say fuck off life, so make it last that bit longer to say fuck you all, I can do it. Don’t piss it off, make it work. You know you can.
November 25th, 2003 at 5:52 pm
I am a creep
no one gives a bleep
and when i shove that knife in me i’ll stick it pretty deep
my last breath it seems to reflect my death… breathless wish i was happy wish i was deathless - can i touch? No cos’ i’m scared i might like it and you might not like me - drown me i need the reality of the sun or the sea.
only things that seem real
bloom, theres no room
November 25th, 2003 at 5:58 pm
I dont mind talking but I don’t need goody goody to talk me out of it. Its my decision in the end and no one can really stop anyone from doing it. It may slow them down for a while but they will do it if they have a mind to. I dont want christians doing there duty. That is not understanding. It is disempowering.
I have my reasons and I think they are pretty good ones.
Its good to talk at times but no one else can understand if they have not had the pain and been in THAT place.
It feels relief for a day or so then it all comes back you all know that.
Malc
November 25th, 2003 at 6:06 pm
PS the last message might sound a bit harsh, but it comes from someone who’s been there. Got the scars on my wrist, got the scars on my heart and mind, also got the results back recently to say I don’t have cervical cancer. My past will always be full of twisted shit, my present is still difficult, my future… well..at least I’m aiming for one now!
November 25th, 2003 at 6:09 pm
Malc,
Please remember you can always kill yourself laterJUST DONT DO IT NOW. Put it off for another hour another day. I DO know how you feel I am 27 and have felt sucidal since i was about 8
November 25th, 2003 at 6:10 pm
Didn’t realise how quickly people write on this thing! When i refered to my last message I was talking aboutn the one that said that death is a final commitment thing!
November 25th, 2003 at 6:39 pm
Malc, sent you an email. still awaiting a reply mate.
PS Im the ‘goody goody’!
November 25th, 2003 at 7:18 pm
This is for Mike&Ike
I would really like to help you, get to know the person you want to be. I hope you get this message, cause it would be great to speak to you. My email is Louisewantstogetaway@hotmail.com
November 25th, 2003 at 8:24 pm
for the love of god. if ur going to kill yourselves will u just get on with it!! try not to be jumping from bridges in the rush hour tho… it’s not very nice being stuck in traffic while ur waiting for some sad shmuck to jump
November 25th, 2003 at 8:27 pm
Hiya.
Right, lets get one thing straight, before anyone thinks that im gonna talk crap, i have had thoughts about killing myself, and have come pretty close to actually considering what i would do, and how i would do it. Anyway, most of you have problems, yeah sorry i forgot EVERYONE has some sort of heartache or another, some will seem so bad that the only way out is to leave this place, for somewhere better…… But one thing i would like someone to answer for me, HOW DO YOU KNOW that whatever happens after death is better??? I have seen my dad beat my mum black and blue, have seen my granmother die (of whom i was very close to, i mean very close as i used to call her mum) then before i took my exams my grandad died, this resulted in me failing them. However, they are trivial things, they arent things that cant be sorted out, yeah i know at the time its crap, but then doesnt all the bad things happen to you make you a stronger person? I would just like to point out that, while most of you here are contemplating suicide, and probably know how and where and even when you are going to do it, just think of that little kid, or your mum dad brothers or sisters telling you that someone who you care most in the worls is fighting for life, and you are prepared to give it up, for something none of you have the experience to even talk about, or presume its “better than this hell hole”. I would just like to say, that even though i dont know any of you, but as someone outside of your problems, can and WILL talk, if you are going to kill yourself, the sad thing is you will probably do it, but then again just think of the people you are leaving behind, just because people dont always say “I LOVE YOU” doesnt mean that they dont love you, the things they do might also make you feel unloved, but they do, theres someone everywhere that has someone that cares so much for them that they would do anything. Just think of it yeah, we are all going to die at somepoint, and thats reality, but why shorten the time, when terminally ill kids would do anything to see their birthday, or christmas, or just to see through the day when they can watch their fave program or play with their best friends, wishes like these we all take for granted, and i think thats what our problem is, we take life for granted - if you wanted to kill yourselves then why post a message on the internet, saying that you are going to do so, isnt that just attention seeking, and causing others worry of thinking what you might do.
I hope everyone here has a look at the stars, feel the breeze, and just be thankful for another day - some of us arent so lucky.
November 25th, 2003 at 8:29 pm
Thank you Luc_fur for your words of encouragement
Malc
November 25th, 2003 at 8:34 pm
suicide is THE most selfish thing anyone can do. but shit happens!! good luck everyone. and if any of u would like tips on good knots let me know… i was in the girl guides ;o)
November 25th, 2003 at 8:36 pm
and btw shanna… u ended up talking crap. sorry to have to point that out
November 25th, 2003 at 9:35 pm
Greetings Everyone,
I am a writer from England. My close friends tell me I am a good listener. So add me to your MSN Messenger. I am looking for new contacts and I am on-line most evenings.
November 26th, 2003 at 2:31 am
I am a gay guy in the uk. I am often suicidal and depressed especially as i’m alone most of the time. I would like to hear from you if you are younger than me and interested in getting to know me. I usually get on with younger guys better. Anyone under 25 is welcome.
November 26th, 2003 at 3:12 am
cheer up you misserble gits
November 26th, 2003 at 3:14 am
you are so sad. you should turn to drugs.
November 26th, 2003 at 4:00 am
Hi. I feel real bad at the moment. I’ve been suicidal for about 2 years and I’m only 16. My life is a complete mess and I want out butwhen I try and talk to someone they either aren’t interested or don’t believe me. I need someone to talk to
Kat
November 26th, 2003 at 4:54 am
i’m here to talk to anyone who wants to talk.
November 26th, 2003 at 4:56 am
Im gonna kill myself the way things are going i just hate life its crap
November 26th, 2003 at 4:58 am
Does anyone one want to talk??? im on at 1.00 clock
November 26th, 2003 at 4:59 am
text me or call me on 07745133168
November 26th, 2003 at 5:10 am
about a month ago my parents died in a car crash and ime now living with my aunt, i used too do weed a bit but now bcuz of my depression im taking harder shit, i really wont too die so id thought id search for prople feeling like me and talk about it
November 26th, 2003 at 5:18 am
i think i wanna comitte suicide
November 26th, 2003 at 5:20 am
i think i wanna comitte suicide i’m all mixed up
November 26th, 2003 at 5:31 am
whats going on in ure life louise?
November 26th, 2003 at 6:03 am
Short story I have saved all my anti depressents which my doctor scribed for me, and there all infront of me at this moment and what i want to say is good bye to Gemma and Laura, bye to my Family and I don’t mean to make anyone sad but Killing myself is what I have wanted to do in a long time. So too everyone on this site good luck with your lives and make the best of it.
Goodbye x x x
November 26th, 2003 at 6:08 am
its almost been 2 months since my sister died although they do not show it i no that my parents blame me for her death.
Just because i am older it doesnt mean i hav 2 be responsable for her actions
she knew i knew and my parents knew she was capable of doing what she had done.They just dont understand they think that they no all the awnsers and that we couldnt achieve anything. i didnt belive in being suicidal, i thought that she was just a wierd bitch looking for attention, when she proved 2 us how she feeeeelt i suddenly realized that death was the only solutuion. Before i didnt even think about death, now i cant even go to the toilet without considering to stay or leave. My sister, cut herself at times, on her arms and legs. I couldnt understand why, my parents would lock her in her room becausae of it. The first time in cut myself i wasnt sure what to expect. but i swear that no matter what any1 says there is nothing that feels more right than slowly pressing a nife slowly into your skin, cutting into the flesh. The pain which is briefly used as the disguise to cover up the bleak sadness of what life really is. Depression is only the beggining then you must understand life and the fact that death is the only escape though it is only available to those who are brave stupid or forsaken and foe the rest of us theres life. Aworld of rules laws andsuffering. fuk it i no what i need.
November 26th, 2003 at 6:11 am
i am depressed if you are depressed we can be depressed togther the only comfort will be the fact that we have excepted our depression as a disability and therefore we are nothing.
November 26th, 2003 at 6:29 am
Hi i’m new here and i need to talk to someone. I want to kill myself!! Does any one how i can kill myself quick and pain free.
November 26th, 2003 at 6:36 am
Since last week (Wed 19th Nov 03) I have made a plan to kill myself. Today is the day and all I want is to get it over with, my parents are away till Saturday so no one can find me or catch me.
As I have already said I have Anti Depressents which I have collected from my doctor for the last 6 months. now they are all infront of me and i’m just waiting till 2:00pm today (thats my time to take them).
ive already wrote letter to my Mum (maxine) my Dad (keith) my brother and sister (Ashley and Kelly) My friends (Gemma and Laura) and my dear Boyfriend who i love so much (Daneil).
the music I’m going to die to is P.Diddy - missing you.
now here’s every thing I have done today so far:
8:30am - rolled out of bed then made my bed, went down stairs, fed the dog (Jock) then did the washing up.
8:45am - wrote in my dairy and said ever little thing ive done.
9:00am - picked the clothes I want to die in.
9:35am decided what clothes I want to wear then headed back down stairs to make some breackfast (I had a bowl of suga puffs and 2 slices of toast)
9:46am - Watched a F.r.i.e.n.d.s video for 25 minutes.
10:10am - wrote letters to people who I care about the most.
Now i’m on the internet waiting till 2:00pm where I can finally get away from everything.
For those who think this is one big joke its not but at the end of the day (which i will not be able to see) I don’t ask for anyones help or anything like that.
I shall keep you informed.
November 26th, 2003 at 6:38 am
I have got some little pills here i try to hide the reality of life by taking drugs like pills (extasy) or coke or anything besides smack. I want to DIE but is a lot harder than you woulod think
PLEASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME
I’M HERE TO TALK AS WELL
November 26th, 2003 at 6:39 am
Time is going so slow
November 26th, 2003 at 6:39 am
Busted rule lar!
November 26th, 2003 at 6:41 am
i am a dyke is any nice ladys here
November 26th, 2003 at 6:41 am
Hey rob s
If you read above I am killing myself at 2:00pm for good reasons
November 26th, 2003 at 6:42 am
i AM A QUEER I DONT KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THIS!! ALL MY LIFE I WILL AND HAVE BEEN HATED, the stupid queer WHO EVEN WHEN HE’S GOT FRIENDS DON’T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY OR LEAVE HIM NOUT!!
November 26th, 2003 at 6:44 am
hEY NOTHING MATTERS WHY ARE YOU GOING TO KILL YOURSELF AT 2PM talk to me!!
November 26th, 2003 at 6:44 am
listen, go and do urself a favour go an buy a 2 litre bottle of lambrini from the shop and then buy some 20 20 and then u will be drunk and that wiull be better
November 26th, 2003 at 6:46 am
Dus nobody care about what i am writing am i just a nobody so shud i do it shud i shoot myself like the girl on texas chainsaw or shud i chainsaw myself instraed-wot the fuck!
November 26th, 2003 at 6:46 am
im killing myself at 2:00 and time is still going slow for me.
November 26th, 2003 at 6:48 am
i have wanted to kill myself for a long time, not something that i thought of over night, life has just got so cold for me and i don’t want no one to feel sorry for me or even care about the actions im going to do because its my mind and i really want to do this.
November 26th, 2003 at 6:48 am
Nothing matters will you talk to me and tell me what the problems are in your life
November 26th, 2003 at 6:49 am
Hello is anyone there
November 26th, 2003 at 6:50 am
Anyway its my last few hours so please, everyone smile for me :o)
life’s to little
November 26th, 2003 at 6:51 am
Does anyone want to talk????
November 26th, 2003 at 6:51 am
Hey i am here to listen and talk,