HI i wood like to join ur chat line services plz thank you goodbi

i need help i am very sucidal and need help

at this time i'm feeling very depressed and low and i really need to talk to someone now.

i'm really scared right now, i dont know what to do. I've gone through so much it seems i have no choice please help me.

[Moderated: content removed at user's request]

look all yoy ass holes you muther fucks ....im JUST ABOUT TO PULL THH FUCKIN TRIGGER
I guessnim loolking for a reasojn not to pull the trigger....is there anyone out there?
IM DEAD and it feels so thankfully good...oh yes.........................

okay i am feeling so suicidal right now. my parents are not understanding. they don't know how it feels to be a teenager anymore even though they say they do. they are so sexiest. this is what makes me turn to suicide i think that if i do it then i won't have to deal with there shit and stupid rules anymore!

ur perents might not know what its like 2 be a teenager but nobody's do. and what they say and do is probably bull shit, but there just doing what they've always done. u need to reeducate them tell them how ur feelin not just stop speekin 2 um, and maby u could come 2 some sorta agree ment. why r they sexist?

p.s. do u want 2 talk?

i hav a friend, and they told me they might kill themselves last night. i talked to him 4 awhile online but he just sounded the same and he just signed off on me. i told him i luved him but i dk. i called him 3 times last night tryin 2 get him on the phone around 130 cause he said he would decide @ 2. he wouldnt answer and he said if he isnt on by noon, hes dead and its almost 11 i dk what to do. i kno no1 will reply to me b4 i found out, i guess i just wanted to talk or somthin i dk...

i dk what to do, my friend didnt com online and he isnt answering the phone. if he killed himself id like never forgiv my self. this so sucks i hav no clu what to do. this is a rele great guy, pleeease somone tell me what to dooo.

my friend is ok i finally got him on the phone. but i know hes still depressed, i only got through to him 4 one night. how can i get him help now?

hey everyone. um...i want to kill myself and i REALLY need someone to talk to about it, becasue no one i know understands. so if someone can just email me and talk to me, and give me some reasons not to kill myself, i'd appreciate it. bye

i hate my self i have tried to end my life so many times, my and dad both died in a car crash and i am only 16 , i want to be with them so much and i will soon, this is my last good bye to my family and the world

Hello there. Im new here

Life is really messed up, ya know? I feel like I want to just kill myself

hello...

Hi, I'm looking for a chat room on survivors of suiside, can anyone help? Thanks

I just deleted an abusive comment by user "skimmer".

If you can not be civil, please don't post here.

A lot of shit has happend to me and it continuing to happen to me. Nothing seems to work. Consulers, talking to friends, nothing. I need help but my parents won't get me help. I need someone to confide in.

i didn't mean to be abusive. i totally forgot what i said......something like how people should stop whining yeah that was it. okay. don't think of it that way. i just want people to go and do something about it. if you're all depressed you probably don't like doing things and stuff, but force yourself.

i'm on two anti-depressents and an anti-psychotic. (why would they do that? i just have a different view of the world.) i'm not the kind of person to be all crying for no reason. they same i'm different. i'm killing myself not because i'm depressed. i have no future! i hate that...

yeah. the world is messed up. but just think about why you're killing yourself for a second. is it society? that's kinda what it is for me. but a former suicidal zen student (my hero) told me, "life is fucking beatiful." yeah sure it can be, but it's hard not to see the good. don't try to just look at the good. MAKE SOME CHANGES!!!1

i'm too lazy and i feel like killing myself instead.

my last night on earth and i am spending it in front of a computer.

im very good at giving advice i suffered through alot of things in my life and i no how it feels. helping people helps me if u no what i mean if u need advice email me and i might be able to help i helped alot of people and if u have a problem i might be the answere 4 u

Hi,

My mother just committed suicide on July 26, 2003. I am just trying to cope with her death and asking myself all these questions that I can't answer. I need to talk about it. I need to go on with my life. I need a friend.... listen to me.

Nat

You people ever heard of spell check?

I have been suicidal the past 20 years. I am 30 now. I still have every intention of committing suicide. I am sad to think that I will be leaving my 3 children motherless but they are strong. They will be OK in the long run. For some people there are no options. I hate to think of anyone else being as miserable as myself but there just are some people that will never get better. I do not believe in God, I am spiritual though and believe in some sort of afterlife. I believe if one suffers greatly in this life that they are bound for some relief in the next life. I am ready to move on.

Hi, my name is Katie. I just wanted to let everyone know that I know what your going through. I am here if anyone ever needs to talk. I have suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for a long time. I am now 21 years old, and would love to help anyone who wants to talk. just e-mail me

we have been cutting ourselves since a very young age. we came together because of this and now were best friends but we still have a lot of probs as for; beccis dad commited suicide when she was 6, i was sexually abused when i was 13 and so on and so forth. we need to talk to someone and let our feelings out a different way. we dont really want to take our lives we just get overwehlming feelings. maybe if u help us, we'll help you?

My friends and i have got into a huge fight n they hate me now..they really do..im feelin not so great right now..n i really need to talk to some1 about it..

Its funny to me how people need to talk about their porblems. Its as if they will magically disapear. I have been suicidal for well over ten years now (I'm 28), and talking about it has done absolutely nothing. The problems stay and new ones keep comming. And all through it the people around you tell you to "hang on" and "things will get better". Well things did not get better, and frankly I have had it with life.
Perhaps I should take an anit-depressant so I can go through my pathetic life with a cartoon like smile on my face. Or I choose to end it while I still have some dignity, before I reach the point where I break down crying in public.
To all you out there that are going through a depression phase where you feel bad but dont know why- talk about it and get help. For all of you with serious problems thats not going to do a damn thing. At least I dont think so. Life is like a boxing match, you can choose to get up after a punch but there comes a time when you've taken such a beating its just not worth playing anymore.
Oh, and if anyone cares, my life hinges on an event in the near future. If that goes wrong too then thats it.

i've been on anti-depressents for a year and they haven't made me happy. if you do start taking anti-depressents you might be disappointed at how they do absolutely nothing.

and 10 years!! all that time...bitching and whining about life. i've been suicidal for 4 years but it hasn't been much of a problem. when you kill yourself you don't have a problem to contend with. so you might as well do it.

You are right Skimmer. It is the only way to make sure you get rid of problems (and regret). Just for the record, I've done relatively little bitching about life in my ten years. At least compared to what you'd expect for such a long periond of time.

I've just lost the most important person in my life. i was hoping that my world would come to an end and take me with him. but it didn't happen. Alan, you're right. for four months, i've been talking, and bitching and crying but none of it helps. i have people telling me to "cheer up" and "hang on". they promise me that everything will better, but nothing is and nothing can be. my B/F died and nothing will ever return him. i'm tired of everybody giving the same shit line that i have to stick it out, that it can't get any worse, that everything will be better. bullshit. i'm done. i've really had it.

i love you all

Hey, you have to look on the bright side. It might be a nice day tomorrow or the germans might all fly to the moon! anythings possible if you just give it time to happen. I like being happy, it's lovely!

Wow! Some of you people have been suicidal for a long time! Why not take a holiday or even better, take it out on someone you don't like. Theres nothing like getting someones back up. And if your having trouble sleeping, drink coffee and you won't have to sleep at all!

you so crazay

I'm going through some very tough/strange times. I've never used a chat room before thought what do I have to loose!

k so I just found this page, n i'm feeling really bad n I dunno....I need 2 tlk,

whats up so long?

you ever feel like your allready dead inside n everything is just acid on the outside of your skin ? I think i'm losing touch with reality n I'm not sure I wana wade back...just let go...

Life is a mirror- two sides are grey.
Seems so fucked up, but at least your still here,
Open your eyes, Your traveling offside.
Let yourself go out, dont be so queer,
Life has its changes, changes so near.
Makes me twisted, insides and out.
So i hope you chock on your suicide note.
Leave outside, outside she'll see.
Maybe this time you'll give a damn.
Maybe this you'll see it was me.
Maybe this time i wont assert myself
to a life that leads off the cliff.

there is a difference between your and you're. i hope you know that. and what the hell is chock?

i feel very lonely someone has just betrayed me. I have no one to talk to. I was really close to doing it to today. I had all my pills on the table. but my phone rang and it was my friend on the the other line she made me forget about for a while but i cant help feeling like that again . what should I do?????

i held the blade in trembling hands prepared to make it but...just then the phone rang..i never had the nerve to make the final cut. pink floyd teehee

all you really gotta do is do some drugs that'll mess up your brain for like a few weeks, go see a psychiatrist, get some anti-psychotics, and you'll be set! they really help to keep me from thinking about stuff. i actually plan on doing this..again. it's fun to waste people's time!

Today is my 31st birthday. Never thought I would make it this long, nor do I want to. I am trapped here, under constant supervision. That is what happens when you are a "career psycho"and make half-assed attempts. I have spent so much time bitching but if I am forced to live against my will then everyone will just have to listen to me whine and bitch. I admit, as a teenager I knew how to get attention by acting "crazy" but it is such a habit now and the longer my life drags on and on the more sincere my wish to die becomes. Yes, it is possible to be suicidal for 20 years.

you are right. you can be suicidal for a very long time. but it doesn't matter because we haven't actually killed ourselves. there is a difference between thinking and doing.

Well i have read all your comments. I lost a loved one through suicide but he didn't ever oncetalk about it he just did it...which makes me feel that you all just need a shoulder to cry on..someone to listen and not offer advice...so here i am..

I feel like I have already wasted so many peoples time. Just wish I could end it peacefully. I feel so guilty. Anyone have a garage or reasonably air tight storage area I could park my car in for a few hours?

Hey Christopher, how come you deleted my posts? They included some genuine and helpful information for suicidal people. Do you perhaps NOT want people to get help? Is this message board for just for your jollies? Do you get a kick out of watching people struggle and maybe die thanks to your insensitivity? I don't get it.

Anyone else notice that all of Debbie's postings have been deleted too?

I am happy to see this board, I need to vent at times and carefully consider my next attempt in hopes of being successful and I have not found any other place that is not preaching to me about some imaginary "God" who supposedly "loves" me but has never done anything but annoy me. I was actually hoping to find a place to possibly find someone else who is at this point of desperation and make a pact or something. I hope that there is no one suffering as I am but obviously there is. Life is not so "wonderful" and it irritates me when people think that it is. I mean I don't want anyone else to be this miserable but life is not great for everyone. I think people should have the right to end their life if they so choose. I am still searching for a surefire way to get this over with already. Some of the methods I have read about online just are not feasible and practical and some are just plain ugly and gory. I am a delicate, dainty girl and want a prettier ending. I am thinking asphyxiation, park my car in a garage or something..... I admit, I am selfish and lazy but I am honest and sometimes people do not like the truth.

buy like 12 ounces of cough syrup that has more than one active ingredient. it will definitely kill you. if it just has one (dextromethorphan) you'll actually have a really good time...you'll think differently and not be able to walk well. it lasts about 5 hours but time goes by very slowly. and if you do that much you might have a hangover that lasts for a day or two. but this hangover is unlike a hangover from alcohol. it actually feels good!
my plan was to do that and cut my wrists. dxm is a dissociative so you won't feel a thing.

I haven't deleted any posts except ones that were spamming porn links.

Make sure you're using the right thread to respond to. There are two popular ones at lurid:

http://www.lurid.org/archives/000199.html

and

http://www.lurid.org/archives/000110.html

The second one has many more posts than this one.

--Christopher.

Sometimes people are sad for good reasons.
Sometimes there is no good reason.

If there are not really good reasons for being sad then it could be that you are just having a chemical imbalance in your brain. That is what happened to me. I went and got help and not I can make it through the day.

GET HELP!!!!! IT IS OUT THERE!!!!

Whoops! My mistake, Christopher. I am sincerely sorry. I had no idea there were two "threads" about suicide on this site. I hope everyone can understand my concern and upset when it *appeared* that my genuinely helpful posts were deleted. Again, Christopher, my apologies to you.

Hi. For anyone in crisis now, PLEASE go here and read this:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

or call: 1-800-SUICIDE

Already read it or called? Read it again, or call again -- please.

I also ran across this FREE BOOK that you can download and read. It's called "Suicide: The Forever Decision" available here:

http://www.qprinstitute.com/Forever.htm

Click on "Click here to download the book" at the bottom. The other links will help you download WinZip and Acrobat Reader, if you need them. It's only 1 meg, so it's a fairly quick download, even over a modem.

I am about halfway through it and I have found it to be very helpful. The author is up-front and frank about suicide, and his perspectives could change your mind or at least postpone your "Forever Decision". Please download and read this free book. Contact me by email if you need help with Acrobat or WinZip.

Don't believe anyone out there cares? Well check out this site:

http://www.spanusa.org/resources.html

which has a TON of links to just SOME of the organizations out there wanting to help YOU. There are thousands of people who are working to help you survive, even though they don't even know you. How's THAT for caring? :-) You *do* matter to lots of people.

Why am I writing this? Do you think I have no idea what you are going through (so what the hell do I know anyway)? Well, look at my post at:

http://www.lurid.org/archives/000199.html

on August 20, 2003 (by "mike"). I get it. I really do.

So please check out the links above. Read the book. Call a friend or therapist or relative to talk. Take your meds (or go get evaluated). Think of something you can do to help someone else today or tomorrow, and go do it. Trust me, it will help. Repeat the above as necessary.

There is a way out -- and it's not death. I promise.

if youre thinking of committing suicide at this moment, please take just 5 minutes to read these few lines. it would make me so happy to know i've saved someones life, please read.......
Think of me
when you don't want to live
Think of me
when you feel you have nothing left to give
Think of me
when you are sad
Think of me
when you are glad
Think of me
when you cry yourself to sleep
Think of me
when you cut yourself deep
Think of me
when you grab the knife
Think of me
when you try to take your life
Think of me
when you see your blood begin to flow
Think of me
and how I don't want you to go
Think of me
and how much I care
Think of me
and how I'm always there
Think of me
and how much I'd miss you
Think of me
and how much I love you
Think of me
when you want to die
Think of me
Maybe it'll change your mind

i have just spent 3 days in the house! the other night i prepared everything! i wrote a note! i dissolved a cocktail of pills in a drink! started getting drunk and then...i couldn't go through with it! now i hate myself even more for being such a coward! my partner killed himself nearly 4 years ago! i don't want to live anymore! nothing gives me pleasure nor my friends nor my job,nothing! can someone help me to find the courage to go through with it? please help me to die!

this is no fucking chat room!

at least 10,000 people die every single day.
Does it really matter?

Individually ...... we are nothing, and we mean nothing.

I Lost my daughter and friend 6 months ago to
suicide. Her husband died in a fatal accident on
monday, and she shot herself in the head tuesday
with a sawed off shot gun. WE were outside 20ft
away when we heard the gunshot. We had to see
her laying there on the floor dead. I cry for her
everyday. The grief of lossing her is to tremendous.
I miss her so much! She was 19 yrs old, but to me
she was still my baby. and for the rest of my life I
will have those terrible sounds and visions. the pain is so terrible, I feel black inside, like cancer is
consuming me. If your suicidal PLEASE tell some-
one, a parent, teacher,aunt, grandparent or friend.
There is help out there!!! Just keep looking till you
find it.Your life is very important to someone! Lisa

none is right. we should kill ourselves with no remorse, or not kill ourselves and go on living. you should know by now that it doesn't really matter. wait...should you? i guess most people don't realize it.

i dont think that i can go on living anymore. too much is going wrong and where there was once a bright side is now just a lonely shadow. no one listens. no one cares. im not allowed to be selfish. my tears wont even come anymore. my "problems" may seem so small to other people but i was not built to handle all that i have been through. i think the only way to end all of this turmoil that i feel inside is to end it permantly. cutting doesnt even ease my pain anymore. it is the only option left.

i just need to talk to someone before things get worse.

just 2 say I know how it feels to be suicidal n if any1...michelle may-b? does want to tlk u can mail me 4 a chat or add me to ur msn messenger if u have it :misplaced_wound@hotmail.com
I don't want to preach at you I promise, just to listen if you need somebody who won't judge to say something to.

you know how people say "get on anti-depressants, get help cuz this isn't healthy"...i've heard that all my teenage life. ever since i turned 12, suicide has been on my mind and i have never been able to get it out. i've tried pills, hanging, knives, sufercation...you name it...damnit ppl...no shit its not healthy, but how the hell would you like it if every fuckin day of ur damn life was just like the last???? if you had to endure the pain of betting beat, and getting told that they would wish you would just die? i know that you'd probably say that there just kidding get a life rite??? fuck you, its not easy when ur depressed and you cant accept life for the way it is. its hard enough being a fuckin 16 year old without having everyone criticize every move you make. i know i need help...but help cant find me and even if it did it wouldn't do any good. so fuckin stop saying to just get on anti-depressants and try a day in our shoes.

will someone please talk to me i need help and i cant stand the fact that i'm living on this earth...please someone

Dear Maggz, I know life as a teenager is hard, I remember, I was one. Grew up with mental, verbal
emotional and physically abuse. Tried suicide at the age of 14. During the years from 14 to 30, I probably had over 500.000 thoughts of suicide!!!
I'm 40 now, and life ain't easy!!! It had it's ups &
downs, curves,and bumps. Its your challenge to
win these. You are almost 18 and then you can do
what you want. Just hang on! The sun has to shine on you sometime!!! There was also love, joy,
happiness after I moved out on my own. Life never stays the same. It is always changing! Lisa

Lisa
Thank you for replying, i know that life will always have its ups and downs, but sometimes for me its too hard to bear. i don't know how much longer i can take it, but i have been holding on to my so called life for four years now, and its been hard, but i keep thinking maybe, just maybe it will get better. maybe by the time im your age i'll understand life a little bit better, people tell me that if im not open enough i wont get better or i have to just forget it. i have been open, and i have told ppl how my problems have effected my life. they just dont understand. hell, i dont understand. but anyway, lisa, thank you for replying. i really appreciate it.

Just a quick note. I'm looking for some support with an evening of alcohol and then subsequent upset and attempted drug overdose. I've managed with symptoms of bipolar for several years, and have worked hard to treat myself right. Yes, I've had suicidal thoughts during numerous periods, but never acted (even symbolically- like a drug OD) before. I had a very high blood alcohol level which I'm sure was a precipitant. I'm just afraid of myself even more (the unstable me) versus the "professional" outwardly "normal" me. I guess that's it. Thanks.

i never thought i would write to one of these things, i am a fucked up girl, who needs help. my family sux, and i never want to live. i always come so close to killing myself, but one day i might really go though with it. help and talk to me

I really, really need to talk to someone. I am about to kicked out of school, I actually hate it here, but I hate home even more. I don't know what to do, I just keep thinking about how easy it would be, how painless...there are so many ways and all of them keep running through my head. I feel so alone, I have no one to talk to. I hate the people at this school, but I need to stay here. I don't know what I'm going to do if I get kicked out......I wish someone would just do it for me. I find myself walking alone really late at night, hoping that some maniac will murder me, I know that's really sick, but I can't help the way I feel. I've battled with depression since I was 11 and now I'm 18...I'm just sick of feeling this way....

I have been posting on these boards for about a month or so now and I have made an observation, it seems like a lot of females who have posted, adults and teenagers seem to have developed depression and suicidal thoughts around 11 or 12 years old or close to that. I was first hospitalized at 11 years old and medicated at age 12. I do not understand why this seems to be so common. I do not have any insight on this but it is interesting. Does anyone have any answers, my daughter is only 5 right now but I hate to think in a few years she may be battling this too. I guess I know more than some what to watch for but I may not even be here that long to watch her grow up. Life sucks. I just wish someone was interested in my suicide pact idea... I just need a damn garage!!!

Why does everyone think that the other side is better???? It may be worse!!! At least here, you know what your dealing with. Psychic's say that
when you commit suicide, that you are sent to a
gray room, and you have to feel the feelings of everyone you hurt by your death...Then you are sent back to a similiar life, with the same problems and situations! And you stay here until you get it right!

Take your depression medicine, if one kind doesn't
work, try another kind. I tried 10 different kinds before I found the right one for me... Remember this---Every problem has a solution, you just have to find it!!!!! And it's not SUICIDE !!!!

well you shouldn't make it sound like anti-depressents are the right way, Lisa, else you may be flamed! weeee

and erica. maybe you should attempt suicide. whether you fail or not doesn't matter. i can't really explain... it just feels right. so then,

i was going to kill myself last weekend, but i started doing something that's actually kind of fun (advertising for our band that doesn't exist). when should i kill myself?

my heart has been broken once again by a guy. i don't know what i am doing wrong. i keep thinking that if i can't make someone happy how can i make myself happy. i hate life. i hate being hurt. i keep getting hurt. i hurt my family by being depressed all the time. so what is the point of me even being here.

ANNOUNCEMENT

I've finally installed a live chat room for you guys to use.

If you scroll to the top of the screen here and over to the right hand side, you'll see a button that says "Suicide Chat". Click that button and you'll be taken to a real, live chat room where you can register your screen names and chat your brains out.

The direct link is http://lurid.org/chat/phpMyChat.php3

--Christopher

Well I guess I've tried to kill myself millions of times.Well I'm 15 now I've had suicidal thoughts since I was nine. I wish I could make it go away But at times I feel so damn loney and worthless. I tried to drown myself recently but my cousin found me She also saved me when I tried to stab myself
with a butcher knife I tried to overdose on advil and tynelol but it didn't work. nothing happene I took a whole damn bottle.Well ciggarettes are helping feel better and so is the weed. I want someone to help me I need someone to tell me how to make it go away Iwant to be happy yet I feel i'll always be miserable

I am now 42 years old and have been suicidal since I was about 9 or 10. I am from a dysfunctional family. A victim of sexual, physical and mental abuse. Married 6 times and still havent found what I'm looking for. I long for death and have prayed to die since I was 13. My daughter hates me and tells me this often. My current husband doesnt want to touch me in any kind of way. Cant seem to keep close friends and I want to be alone all the time. I keep hearing my Mothers voice from long ago-your no good-your no good. I have no reason to live and will carry through with this one day soon.

I am sick due to a medical situation and don't really
have hope for a cure. I can't work, feel like death
and no money for getting real help if anything would help. My quality of life is zero.

My life has been shit for at least 9 years. I'm in my
thirties. I figure in another 10 or 15 years I'd be middle aged anyway. I already bought a gun last year to kill myself but couldn't go through with it.

My fear/concern is that if my situation gets worse,
I will end up in a bad situation medically with no
control whatsoever over my own life. It's hard enough to kill yourself while you are in good health.

I haven't found one good foolproof method of suicide which I can't believe.

I'm not religous either, so I don't believe I will
end up in heaven. I don't really know what will
happend to me.

Anyone want to chat about our terrible afflictions
email me.
O yeah and if anyones got a magic potion to cure fucking depression drop me a line...
Please someone contact.........

For those who are thinking about suicide, please rethink it. Please think about your family and friends who love you and the pain that they will incur if you decide to take your life. The pain and the hurt NEVER goes away. We will remember this until our last days on this earth. We think about it every day, throughout the day and at the end of the day. I know this because My brother who was my best friend, killed his wife and then himself in 2001. We later found out that he was taking medication for severe depression for several years after serving in Operation Desert Storm in Saudi Arabia in 1991. This made it even more difficult because we had no idea he was suffering from severe depression. His behavior remained the same around us. He was a very humorous and outgoing person. He hide this disease very well.

Please get some help and know that God loves you. He loves you soooooooooo much that he gave this world his only begotten son - Jesus Christ - who died on the cross for our sins in order for us to have eternal life. THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE.

If you would like to talk, please feel free to email me.

Keep the faith.

GOD BLESS!

Michelle

There are many times that all I want to do is die.

hi i am amber and i'm having a bad year i know it's probably not as bad as what other people have gone through. but for me i feel like i need a way out....heres what has happened to me....my boyfreind of almost 2 years dumped me... made almost everyone hate me his family included...the girl that he dumped me for seems to constinitly saying something to my bestfriend about me...i tryed so hard to keep my ex i was really inlove with him but he did so many things to hurt me i guess after the things he did and said i shouldn't care about him but i do...i know he has a girlfreind well it's the girl that i tryed to keep away from him while we were together because she was always trying to get his attention and i knwo that he loved me atleast some point in time while he was with me but she ended up winning...it kills me to see him in the hallways at school with her but i can't do anything about it because he has absolutley nothing to do with me...honestly i dont' see how you can love a person one day and then not love them the next but i guess thats why people change there minds right? sometimes it seems like i'm getting some of the freinds back that he made think i was crazy but then other days it doesn't seem like it...it's hard going from homecoming princess to nothing but thats life right? i try really hard to get along with everyone but it doesn't seem to matter anymore...i try to be happy in life but no matter what i do something always holds me back...today i went to go get my permitt and i failed i feel really dissapointed in myself but what can i do nothing.. i have a job well i just got it 2 days ago but doesn't seem like i'll be keeping it because the lady doesn't know if she wants me to work or not...i'm trying to grow up and prove myself to my parents but it only seems like i fail... i feel like nothing and thats a really hard feeling to have....it's been 5 months since shad left me and i know you shouldn't hold on to a person that doesn't love you back that long but i'm stupid and hoping that one day he'll realize that i love him and make his parents like me again and try to get back with me... i feel so sad because i hold that weight on my shoulder everyday that i had something great but i must have done something wrong and then on top of that weight i hold that i'm a failer and will never be anything in life...lifes what you make it and i understand that but no one seems to understand i try to make it fun i try to be happy but something always holds me back and i'm just tired of feeling like i'm nothing and have nothing to live for...i'm sorry if this anoys anyone but over all i have gone through alot in life when i was 3 my dad left us and the following year my brother klayton was killed in front of my house by the bus...my step dad is going to aa classes because he got in trouble for driving under the influence..my mother is great she has always been there for me but some times she just doens't understand what it's like to go from being something to nothing...i have 2 great best freinds but right now they seem to be the only freinds i have and it drives me nuts i wasn't the most popular girl in school but i use to have so many people that liked me untill the end of last year when shad had to make himself look like the good person that i hurt when he was the one that dumped me and completely trashed me... i just want for someone to understand me and what i'm going through but no one around here seems to understand.... i'm 17 and i know people probably think that i'm stupid for even thinking about dying but i'm sorry i hate the thought of waking up everyday and knowing i have to either go to school or feel like nothing.... i am to much of a coward to do anything to myself though and because of that that is the only reason why i am still here... i know that i am young and many people think that teenagers dont' know what love is but i'm sorry we do know what love is if we didn't how would we know how to love our family or friends? but love isn't the only thing that has been hurting me so please don't think i am crazy because i'm not it just seems like for me right now when i think things can't get worse they do and i dont' know what to do to help myself i'm sorry to take up your time

amber long

hi i am a new user i dont really no how to log in but i am hoping this message will send i am a very nice person and i would really like to help you

hi i am a new user i dont really no how to log in but i am hoping this message will send i am a very nice person and i would really like to help you

hi i would also like to join but do not no how please help

Need someone to talk to bad? If there is anyone who can help let me soon. I do not now how much time I can go on like this. If any body care let me now

For the past two years I have been searching for someone to talk with, someone who cares, someone who doesn't know me as the person I am "supposed" to be, but rather the person who I am inside. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about killing myself. In fact, I look forward to thinking about ending my life, yet no one knows how I feel. School is going great, I have many friends, family is completely normal, and yet I feel as though there is a cloud over me constantly. I am in first year university and I currently have a girlfriend, but I know that our relationship is near an end. I have NEVER had a meaningful relationship, nothing has ever lasted. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a girlfriend, just someone to speak with.
You may be asking yourself why I haven't told anyone how I feel; well, I come from a family of great expectations, and all my friends, teammates, teachers, and siblings have always seen me as a person who is so upbeat, athletic and... well, perfect.
For ANYONE who believes in religion, I come from an extremely religious christian background, and recently me telling my mother of my lack of "faith" made her cry. I can argue scientific, rational, and historical evidence against religion, but I'd rather not create a thesis paper. Furthermore, my parents are completely authoritarian, I am nationally ranked for debating, and have won numerous track and field, volleyball, and baseball awards and championships, IT ALL MEANS NOTHING. When I can't rationally argue with my parents about a reasonable topic, when my parents only response is "because I said so" it reminds me of why I don't care for my family. I have a mere respect for my parents for my upbringing, nothing more. I don not love them, in fact, this may sound harsh, but there has been numerous occasions when I was trying to determine how long I would be incarcerated for if I were to kill my father, mother, brothers, and sisters in their sleep.
I have tried to kill myself once before, I tied a grocery bag around my head and planned to succumb to death by means of lack of oxygen to the brain. The only reason I am here is because my dog licked my face and woke me up.
I don't regret trying to kill myself, I have even made a revised method that is painless, and failproof.
I guess why I wrote this is to try and find someone to talk to. If you were to see me in the street, grocery store, movie theatre, baseball diamond, you would never know. I'm not the stereotypical loner, who is uneducated and violent. I have no past of violence, no rapsheet, I am actually a coach for youth sports, a captain for numerous teams, but once again, I don't care anymore.
*this is for any parents*
First off, I am in residence for university, but when I was at home, my parents didn't respect any privacy that I AM entitled to. They opened my mail, they listened in on my phone calls, they searched my clothing when they thought I was asleep. Don't do that, honestly, I have thought about killing my family more times than I have thought about my so called future. I wouldn't say this is directly due to my lack of personal space, but moreso from a culmination of things. Freud would call my posting tonight catharsis, but it is too late. I have a father who screams to assert dominance, who has hit me before, and a mother who is a mere shadow in his presence. Recently, my parents refused to let me join the Canadian Reserves for summer employment because they said that "...the reserves are for blacks, and under-privaledged people". I have been screamed at so much that I feel nothing anymore, my father relies on his screaming to frighten my family into obedience, but I hear it now and I just wish he would hit me so I could justify killing him.
So parents, don't be snoops (I don't do drugs, I drink occasionally but hey it's university) I'm a great son, brother, coach, athlete, and boyfriend and it wasn't because my parents had me on a short leash . All the snooping just pissed me off, trust your kids, let them do what they want, don't be authoritarian, let them put up a valid argument, and most important, don't EVER hit your kids.
I'm not going to try and stop anyone from killing themselves, if you're going to do it, at least kill some assholes who should've died years ago, then put yourself away. If you're going to die anyway, you might as well commit crimes that would lock you up the rest of your life so that you'll follow through with the suicide.
Anyhow, I should get some homework done, but sorry for any dark insight that I've given anyone tonight, I'll make a bogus email for people to email me if they want to talk. I should have another post done tommorow. Good night, and just remember, you have no idea when a person is feeling suicidal, my parents don't know, but now you all do, a bunch of nicknames with a blanket of annonymity.
Cheers.

Well I got my email all set up.
MikeIke_17@hotmail.com

I don't want any religious zealots mailing me, I have so much info and factual proof against religion I'd rather not waste my time. There's a reason why the vast majority of educated individuals DO NOT believe in religion. Religion is a soother for the masses, an emotional crutch that is as synthetic as depression medication. I want meaningful discussion, not all this "god loves you" chat.

im going crazy!!! i need help, my life jus keeps getting worse and i dont know wut to do. my mind is ripping me up inside. please somebody help me!!

im going crazy!!! i need help, my life jus keeps getting worse and i dont know wut to do. my mind is ripping me up inside. please somebody help me!!

im going through so much right now and i need someone to talk to! no one understands how i feel...please somebody help me

is anyone out there????? please i need someone to talk to!!!!

im young and im going through so much!!!! please someone answer me!!! i think tonight is the night i will die!!!

I am sick of my dread full life.And i hate my self. im going to go kill myself bye!!!!!!!!!!

I really believe I can make a difference. Please E-mail me at carecare99@hotmail.com

I keep trying in life but I have now had enough. I dont want to talk, who cares anyway? It must be me who cares and I dont now, Too many things going wrong. No one will miss me and I dont give a shit any more anyway. Malc

I keep trying in life but I have now had enough. I dont want to talk, who cares anyway? It must be me who cares and I dont now, Too many things going wrong. No one will miss me and I dont give a shit any more anyway. Malc

i'm feeling a bit depressed at the moment, i felt depressed when i was about 12 13 which comes from discovering your body i reckon. now i'm 18 and ive been running a lot, im hopefully gonna do the london marathon in april. i recommend running to everyone, it can make you feel quite empowered and flowing. i cant really talk to people who have had real shit down to them like abuse cos i dont know anything about that, but if you feel people are being shit to you dont thrive off of that emotion turn it around and tell them to fuck themselves(maybe not actually) and do something positive with it. get inspired. do some art. i know an artist who used to shoot her canvass. that could be fun.

to the person who was smoking weed please dont do it, i smoked when i was doing the most importatn exams of my life at the most stressful time of my life and it totally fucked me hard you start having these panic attacks and you think you're going mad, i felt like i wouldnt wish it on anyone but afterwards i would cos im just a bitterer personw which is shit. smoking weed can be inspiring creative blah blah but jsut dont smoek it when you're stressed trust me, some people kill themselves after that experience and its the one article that you see in the paper every so often saying someone killed themself cos of dope and you think what thats mad they must have been fukcing crazy, but now i know what that one articles about, so yeah dont smoke when you're stressed.

I'm having problems displaying your style sheet - maybe because I'm running safari on OSX?

If you're really having a problem with my stylesheet, please send me an email with the details. chris@lurid.org

If your message was just another vehicle for life insurance spam, which I deleted, please just go away.

What are you supposed to do when your heart is as hard and cold as steel? Hmm, I have come to the conclusion that suicide must be the answer. I am a strong believer in the fact that happiness is based not on power, money, and prestige, but on the relationships you build with other people. So if I have lost my ability to maintain healthy, meaningful relationships with others, then what is the purpose of living? I am immune to death. I lost my best friend to a car crash on prom night, 2002. At the time, I was so wrapped up in a romantic relationship with a guy that completely mutilated my heart and used me for all I was worth, that I couldn't even focus on my friend's death, and I feel that that has destroyed me on the inside because I have not really dealt with it. Along with this I can't look anyone in the face due to a long going case of acne. I dont love myself anymore, therefore have lost my ability to love other people. I can't even talk to my own family, although I have never been quite capable at doing that, even when I would consider myself, "healthy". I used to be a funny, out-going, fun person with tons of friends and now I pretty much am left with none. I wake up every morning, just praying for night time to come so I can go back to sleep and escape this hellish reality. I was an exceptional student until high school and from then it went down hill. I dont know what happened to my brain, my intelligence. I just feel worthless and stupid, and above all, hideous. God, I don't know what to do...carbon monoxide just seems so lovely.

Things dont get any better. I keep hoping that I will turrn the corner but I get yet another let down. Don't feel I can go on a lot longer. Can't see the point. It's inevitable relly I fear. I will have to do the deed.

Malc

to all of u who feel like u are going to commit suicide plz email me and i will try to help you thnx naughtynymphneeky@hotmail.com

I felt exactly the same as most of the people on here a few months ago and sometimes i still do. Im trying hard to pull through and just wondering if any wanted to e-mail me , im not gonna say all that ''oh no dont do it'' stuff , I just think that most people on here need someone to talk to , I need someone to talk to and so I'm hoping someone will mail me.
x_goodbyekittie_x@hotmail.com

This is for malc,

Mate there is a light at the end of the tunnel

just remember this

if ya wanna be somebody if ya wanna go some where ya wake up and pay attention.

Feel free to mail me mate

I would love to talk to you

Best wishes

sean

Death is a final commitment. To wish to be dead is one thing, and I am sure that most of you mean it when you think or speak about it. How about if that power is taken out of your hands and it is no longer your decision, ie you find you had a terminal illness. The power is gone. Bet you'd be gutted and start fighting against it. Be strong. Be you. Fuck what's getting you down. You know you can. You have the strenghth to say fuck off life, so make it last that bit longer to say fuck you all, I can do it. Don't piss it off, make it work. You know you can.

I am a creep
no one gives a bleep
and when i shove that knife in me i'll stick it pretty deep

my last breath it seems to reflect my death... breathless wish i was happy wish i was deathless - can i touch? No cos' i'm scared i might like it and you might not like me - drown me i need the reality of the sun or the sea.

only things that seem real

bloom, theres no room

I dont mind talking but I don't need goody goody to talk me out of it. Its my decision in the end and no one can really stop anyone from doing it. It may slow them down for a while but they will do it if they have a mind to. I dont want christians doing there duty. That is not understanding. It is disempowering.
I have my reasons and I think they are pretty good ones.
Its good to talk at times but no one else can understand if they have not had the pain and been in THAT place.
It feels relief for a day or so then it all comes back you all know that.
Malc

PS the last message might sound a bit harsh, but it comes from someone who's been there. Got the scars on my wrist, got the scars on my heart and mind, also got the results back recently to say I don't have cervical cancer. My past will always be full of twisted shit, my present is still difficult, my future... well..at least I'm aiming for one now!

Malc,

Please remember you can always kill yourself laterJUST DONT DO IT NOW. Put it off for another hour another day. I DO know how you feel I am 27 and have felt sucidal since i was about 8

Didn't realise how quickly people write on this thing! When i refered to my last message I was talking aboutn the one that said that death is a final commitment thing!

Didn't realise how quickly people write on this thing! When i refered to my last message I was talking aboutn the one that said that death is a final commitment thing!

Malc, sent you an email. still awaiting a reply mate.
PS Im the 'goody goody'!

This is for Mike&Ike

I would really like to help you, get to know the person you want to be. I hope you get this message, cause it would be great to speak to you. My email is Louisewantstogetaway@hotmail.com

for the love of god. if ur going to kill yourselves will u just get on with it!! try not to be jumping from bridges in the rush hour tho... it's not very nice being stuck in traffic while ur waiting for some sad shmuck to jump

Hiya.

Right, lets get one thing straight, before anyone thinks that im gonna talk crap, i have had thoughts about killing myself, and have come pretty close to actually considering what i would do, and how i would do it. Anyway, most of you have problems, yeah sorry i forgot EVERYONE has some sort of heartache or another, some will seem so bad that the only way out is to leave this place, for somewhere better...... But one thing i would like someone to answer for me, HOW DO YOU KNOW that whatever happens after death is better??? I have seen my dad beat my mum black and blue, have seen my granmother die (of whom i was very close to, i mean very close as i used to call her mum) then before i took my exams my grandad died, this resulted in me failing them. However, they are trivial things, they arent things that cant be sorted out, yeah i know at the time its crap, but then doesnt all the bad things happen to you make you a stronger person? I would just like to point out that, while most of you here are contemplating suicide, and probably know how and where and even when you are going to do it, just think of that little kid, or your mum dad brothers or sisters telling you that someone who you care most in the worls is fighting for life, and you are prepared to give it up, for something none of you have the experience to even talk about, or presume its "better than this hell hole". I would just like to say, that even though i dont know any of you, but as someone outside of your problems, can and WILL talk, if you are going to kill yourself, the sad thing is you will probably do it, but then again just think of the people you are leaving behind, just because people dont always say "I LOVE YOU" doesnt mean that they dont love you, the things they do might also make you feel unloved, but they do, theres someone everywhere that has someone that cares so much for them that they would do anything. Just think of it yeah, we are all going to die at somepoint, and thats reality, but why shorten the time, when terminally ill kids would do anything to see their birthday, or christmas, or just to see through the day when they can watch their fave program or play with their best friends, wishes like these we all take for granted, and i think thats what our problem is, we take life for granted - if you wanted to kill yourselves then why post a message on the internet, saying that you are going to do so, isnt that just attention seeking, and causing others worry of thinking what you might do.

I hope everyone here has a look at the stars, feel the breeze, and just be thankful for another day - some of us arent so lucky.

Thank you Luc_fur for your words of encouragement

Malc

suicide is THE most selfish thing anyone can do. but shit happens!! good luck everyone. and if any of u would like tips on good knots let me know... i was in the girl guides ;o)

and btw shanna... u ended up talking crap. sorry to have to point that out

Greetings Everyone,

I am a writer from England. My close friends tell me I am a good listener. So add me to your MSN Messenger. I am looking for new contacts and I am on-line most evenings.

I am a gay guy in the uk. I am often suicidal and depressed especially as i'm alone most of the time. I would like to hear from you if you are younger than me and interested in getting to know me. I usually get on with younger guys better. Anyone under 25 is welcome.

cheer up you misserble gits

you are so sad. you should turn to drugs.

Hi. I feel real bad at the moment. I've been suicidal for about 2 years and I'm only 16. My life is a complete mess and I want out butwhen I try and talk to someone they either aren't interested or don't believe me. I need someone to talk to

Kat

i'm here to talk to anyone who wants to talk.

Im gonna kill myself the way things are going i just hate life its crap

Does anyone one want to talk??? im on at 1.00 clock

text me or call me on 07745133168

about a month ago my parents died in a car crash and ime now living with my aunt, i used too do weed a bit but now bcuz of my depression im taking harder shit, i really wont too die so id thought id search for prople feeling like me and talk about it

i think i wanna comitte suicide

i think i wanna comitte suicide i'm all mixed up

whats going on in ure life louise?

Short story I have saved all my anti depressents which my doctor scribed for me, and there all infront of me at this moment and what i want to say is good bye to Gemma and Laura, bye to my Family and I don't mean to make anyone sad but Killing myself is what I have wanted to do in a long time. So too everyone on this site good luck with your lives and make the best of it.

Goodbye x x x

its almost been 2 months since my sister died although they do not show it i no that my parents blame me for her death.
Just because i am older it doesnt mean i hav 2 be responsable for her actions
she knew i knew and my parents knew she was capable of doing what she had done.They just dont understand they think that they no all the awnsers and that we couldnt achieve anything. i didnt belive in being suicidal, i thought that she was just a wierd bitch looking for attention, when she proved 2 us how she feeeeelt i suddenly realized that death was the only solutuion. Before i didnt even think about death, now i cant even go to the toilet without considering to stay or leave. My sister, cut herself at times, on her arms and legs. I couldnt understand why, my parents would lock her in her room becausae of it. The first time in cut myself i wasnt sure what to expect. but i swear that no matter what any1 says there is nothing that feels more right than slowly pressing a nife slowly into your skin, cutting into the flesh. The pain which is briefly used as the disguise to cover up the bleak sadness of what life really is. Depression is only the beggining then you must understand life and the fact that death is the only escape though it is only available to those who are brave stupid or forsaken and foe the rest of us theres life. Aworld of rules laws andsuffering. fuk it i no what i need.

i am depressed if you are depressed we can be depressed togther the only comfort will be the fact that we have excepted our depression as a disability and therefore we are nothing.

Hi i'm new here and i need to talk to someone. I want to kill myself!! Does any one how i can kill myself quick and pain free.

Since last week (Wed 19th Nov 03) I have made a plan to kill myself. Today is the day and all I want is to get it over with, my parents are away till Saturday so no one can find me or catch me.
As I have already said I have Anti Depressents which I have collected from my doctor for the last 6 months. now they are all infront of me and i'm just waiting till 2:00pm today (thats my time to take them).
ive already wrote letter to my Mum (maxine) my Dad (keith) my brother and sister (Ashley and Kelly) My friends (Gemma and Laura) and my dear Boyfriend who i love so much (Daneil).
the music I'm going to die to is P.Diddy - missing you.
now here's every thing I have done today so far:
8:30am - rolled out of bed then made my bed, went down stairs, fed the dog (Jock) then did the washing up.
8:45am - wrote in my dairy and said ever little thing ive done.
9:00am - picked the clothes I want to die in.
9:35am decided what clothes I want to wear then headed back down stairs to make some breackfast (I had a bowl of suga puffs and 2 slices of toast)
9:46am - Watched a F.r.i.e.n.d.s video for 25 minutes.
10:10am - wrote letters to people who I care about the most.
Now i'm on the internet waiting till 2:00pm where I can finally get away from everything.
For those who think this is one big joke its not but at the end of the day (which i will not be able to see) I don't ask for anyones help or anything like that.
I shall keep you informed.

I have got some little pills here i try to hide the reality of life by taking drugs like pills (extasy) or coke or anything besides smack. I want to DIE but is a lot harder than you woulod think

PLEASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME
I'M HERE TO TALK AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time is going so slow

Busted rule lar!

i am a dyke is any nice ladys here

Hey rob s
If you read above I am killing myself at 2:00pm for good reasons

i AM A QUEER I DONT KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THIS!! ALL MY LIFE I WILL AND HAVE BEEN HATED, the stupid queer WHO EVEN WHEN HE'S GOT FRIENDS DON'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY OR LEAVE HIM NOUT!!

hEY NOTHING MATTERS WHY ARE YOU GOING TO KILL YOURSELF AT 2PM talk to me!!

listen, go and do urself a favour go an buy a 2 litre bottle of lambrini from the shop and then buy some 20 20 and then u will be drunk and that wiull be better

Dus nobody care about what i am writing am i just a nobody so shud i do it shud i shoot myself like the girl on texas chainsaw or shud i chainsaw myself instraed-wot the fuck!

im killing myself at 2:00 and time is still going slow for me.

i have wanted to kill myself for a long time, not something that i thought of over night, life has just got so cold for me and i don't want no one to feel sorry for me or even care about the actions im going to do because its my mind and i really want to do this.

Nothing matters will you talk to me and tell me what the problems are in your life

Hello is anyone there

Anyway its my last few hours so please, everyone smile for me :o)
life's to little

Does anyone want to talk????

Hey i am here to listen and talk, don't feel that i am trying to talk you out off it like you said it is your mind and your life!!
robxx

i don't want to bore you or myself with my probblems i just want to die, simple as that. don't worry about me, i know what im doing.

i'm back! i love rock an roll put a nother dime in the jukebox baby

why do you want to kill yourself do you have everything organised do you know how to do it???

no one can talk me out of it, its been on my mind for a long time now and i'm so glad im gettig it over a done with, but one of the things i have put of my to do list before 2:00 is walk my dog for the last time so i'll be back in 10 to 20 mins.

Is any one there who wants to talk i want to talk to you...

Nothing matters were are you????

last christmas i gave u my heart but the very next day you gave it away this year to save me from tears i give it to sum one special.

My favourite sond is preety green eyes and if i kill myself i will play that tune!!

before i go, To Help
I know what i'm doing and please no one try talking me out of it

IS anyone there???

CYA IN A MINUTE PEOPLE, DOG WANTS TO WALK ME :O)

To nothing matters:
whats that bad???? who has made u like this were are you imn going to help

nothing matters,
dont do it

please let me help!!!!!!! where do you live??

all u stupid twats sayin ur goin to kill urselves jus fuck off and do it!

rob help me here

nothing matters are you there

is there anyone here?????? if not im going to get some food???

Hi there anyone here

hi everyone i'm back from walking the dog round the block, thats the nicest walk ive ever had with my dog Jock, felt that breeze against my face and seeing things thats normaly i would not had noticed. but i still can't wait till 2:00

Hello is anyone there

Letstalk about 2 o clock ok???

what about 2oclock

look, i don't to talk about it, i don't want to think about it at this moment, not long till i do over dose though. if you people really care can we talk about something I would like to talk about.

where did you walk your dog then

if u do it im doing it!!!!!

can we talk about love lives? who has a good one going or who's been heart broken? c'mon gimmie gossip

i took my dog round our block, went through the park aswell and if you want to kill your self over me then that is pretty sad

is there anyone there? ive got like 30 mins to go

hey help or rob s where are you?

where is everyone? i have less than 20 mins and i want to say my good byes

10 minutes

well ive done everything i have wanted to do now all im going to do is take a nice last bath and hopefuly there be some one to say good bye too

i can give advice on suicide add me to messenger or email me and i will help you! i am a qualified doctore so i can help believe me!

Nothing matters, Ive just read ur conversations and i'm new here, I just hope i'm not to late to let u know that u matter mate, u matter, never mind nothing matters, u do.

hi guys im 26 mins late to kill myself but i had a nice bath and now im going to listen to p.diddy missing you, then get the clothes i want to die in and then thats it i guess

im back anyone there

Is anyone there nothing matters u there???

Are u there nothing matters

i'm here
44 mins late to kill myself, better late than never eh?
i want to tell those who have witnessed this that i'm a follish mother fucker, ive just taken 300 depressents. if i don't reply in the next half an hour please ring my mobile 07779503440
ive never been scared in my whole life but my life is flashing before my eys
now i just wait.
mum, dad, friends, boyfriend i love you all and i'm sorry

i can feel each single pill going through my body

i'll be missing you, every step i take, every move i make, ill be missing you, thats the song from p.diddy im listening to

is anyone there?

please remember if i don't reply for a long time call 07779503440

I'LL BE MISSING YOU, EVERY STEP I TAKE! EVERY MOVE I MAKE!

I feel sik

i feel light headed and finding i hard to concentrate i cant see stuff that well

i can't stop cryying some one help mee

hey, i am trying to understand what you are all going through, ive felt like it a few times but i try to help myself out of it, ive had a lot of shit in my life too, if anyone needs to chat about anything then feel free im here take care xx

i'm ringing the cops

nothing matters what have you done! u have wasted your life. i wish i could had helped. i'm sorry

nothing else matters tell me where u r, u obviously want help

don't ring the cops!!! please leave me alone, wot has beeen done is my fault

i don't need this shit no more i just want to run away from everything and this is the best way out. how much longer....

do you think she has really done it? shall i call her mobile?

no, call my if ii dont reply from a long time

I am u ok wot u done

i havent done nothing wrongg

im going to die soon, i can feel it inside me, bye everyone and thank for those who tried to help but now im going to lie on my bed with my dog cuddled up to me with a red rose and the letters to everyone. good bye all and live life to the max

ive spent 10 mins being sick trying to get ever pill i had taken, ive called my boyfriend and hes called the 999 for help, i'm scared

hi, i know alot of u out there feel alone and that sometimes u cant stop crying.......i know what thats like and although ur parents and even ur closest friendstry to tell u its ok, it never is. i dont need to talk about it anymore i've done enough talking about my own problems. if anybody ever needs help just ask.

i need some help ive been suicidal 4 a 1 year now im 15 ive tried splitting my wrist taking pills my life goes on i hate it i have no friends wen i go to sleep at nite i wish i dont wake up in the morning or wen i sit on the bus i wish it crashes wen i walk down the street i wish sum 1 would shoot me i hate feeling like this and i need sum1 to talk to

do u think nothing_matters is ok?

Sorry if this seems harsh im just givin facts!!you are all selfish if you want to take your own life! My friend of 16 recently died of cancer...she had 3 different types over a period of 4 years!! Think of how hard that was for her...her life was stolen and your all willing to take your own..how sad!! Think of how your family and friends would feel! In life there are always ups and downs,you just have to grow up and relise that! There are people who can help and do help!! There is always a way out! If my friens was brave enough along with thousands of other people im sure you can put as much effort into you ending your life as trying to look for answers and make it better you will feel better!! If you look at things negativley they will seem negative if you try and look at the positive side it will seem more positive!!! Wake up, grow up and have a think!! dont just take the easy way out! If you want to tlk il b happy to listen! xxx

u ppl dat wana kill yaselfs it ent da answer if u wasnt wanted in da world u wodnt have friends if u wasnt wanted ur mum wouldnt of had you dont think of killin yaself have time alone dont hide the fact ur scared that u got no friends becuase how the hell r u suposed to get thru tough times in your life. so whoeva sees this dont kill yaself its not the answer even if u dontwana live nomore

oh shut up, if people dont wanna live then they dont have too, people have it really hard these days and u cant sit there saying shit like how sad and stupid it is!

hi, I would love to talk to anyone who is having the same problems I once had, I've got lots of time on my hands & would love to spend some time trying to understand just what the hell's going on.
I felt this way a long time ago now & over the years have tried to look for answers.
I might just be able to help you understand a little bit more about yourself.
before you do the deed, or even if your just thinking about it, get in touch you never know I might surprise you!

don't get me wrong, it would be nice if u could click ur fingers and every thing would be ok or if people had it easy like most people but life is shit and some times the only way out is killing urself

LOSERS JUST GO AND JUMP OFF A BRIDGE

ive tries killing myself you dont realise how hard it is till you try

..

lifes hard...i no that both my parents died wen i was 12 my friend died 6 months ago and i have loads of problems to but killing urself is not the answer!! personally...emma u need to grow up and c that there are plenty of amswers if u look!! How dare u

did she really do it??? oh my days i feel so depressed we could ave stopped her itz that same fing dat happen on da tv show init but he waz on web cam oh i feel really guilty now

I have fucking throat cancer! I am only 15 years old! My mum hates me, My dad sexually abuses me. My sister was murdered, my brother gets beat up by my dad all the time! What shall I do! I've got a blade next to me. I dont think I can take this anymore! Goodbye world! You make me sick...

i wont try and stop you...have fun trying its not that easy u no! Thats nice of u..wots ur brother going to do.. things can get better! ur only 15,cancer can b cured

sum1 e-mailed me askin 4 suicide ways that work but the fing is i tired then and they dont work well ppl just tried 2 save me y do they do it and i dunno wot 2 tell her i could say loadz but i neva knew which 1 would ave worked cuz ppl saved me

There are so many reasons why i feel depressed and often suicidal. I think about death most of the time. Does anyone want to chat? Does anyone need help with thier own problems? i'd like to help.
I'm 15 and i'd love to helkp someone that needs my help. plz email me at prittykitty03@hotmail.com

I have left a note on the kitchen table with The URL of this chat room.

Mum, why did you hate me? What did I ever do to you? Im adopted and I thought that was to bring me out of the hell I used to live in! Why does Dad hurt Jamie. Im sorry if you loved me really, but didnt know how to express it. I think you are a fucked up loser! Look what you made me do! Im in my bedroom! You will have to break the door down, as it is locked!

Dad, you fucking bastard! I hate you! God If you only knew how much I fucking hate you! Why do you hurt Jamie! What has he done to you! He is only 12! Why do you hit him! And why do you fuck me, you pervert!

Jamie, if you get a chance to read this then please read it!

Jamie, my brother. I love you so much. I always stand by you, I try and protect you. I dont know why Dad does what he does to you. He is a sick cunt! Jamie, please dont come in my room, I dont want you to see me. Im sorry Jamie. I cant take this anymore! I just want to you know, please do what I have done. Jamie, go outside, and run away! Please, do it for me! You cant live a fucked up life! Please Jamie.

To all my friends...

Thanks for being my friends, and not turnign against me when you found out what Kind of life I lived. I hope I am not missed. After reading this, Please forget about me. Live your lives as you would have done before any of this happened.

I am sorry to everybody who I have upset by doing this. But Im sure you understand what drove me to do such a thing. I will miss you.

I am going to do this now. I am sorry, I am really sorry! Please understand!

This knife is going accross my wrist, and accross my throat. If I survive, please kill me. I dont want to live this life anymore.

I love you Jamie.

Goodbye!

so, does anyone talk then, or do you all just want everyone to know your feeling the shits, do something about it, I invite anyone for a chat, or are you scared ???? scared I might see through you.
Some people just want sympathy & some people
are serious, they want everyone to feel sorry for them. This is psychological torture for the people
around you, ok you have a problem, havn't we all,
I can help you find your inner strength we've all got it, what have you got to loose your going to die anyway. Gimme a shot

i miss nothing_matters i hope she's alright. i hope her boyfriend got to the hospiltol before it was to late.
Look if people want to die and kill them self's no one can change there mind apart from them so don't start having ago at me for saying if people want to die they can cuz thats what i think, i don't think i have had ago at some one over what they think!!! and HOW DARE YOU

Life may not seem worth living but once i'm dead i can't turn back the clock. maybe i wont want to turn back the clock but maybe i will. well i think i should try it an then there will be no clocks, there will be no anything, i will be dead

We can't have 2 people dieing today so please stop and think, today nothing_matters has ended up in hospitol!!!

fuck it hearing all of u lot has got me in the mood to slice my arms and legs! and i'm going to ring the police if u do anything crazy (please don't try and stop me)

Gareth is dead (Please Dont Try And Stop Me)

things are getting messed up in my life at the moment, i feel like my girlfriend is swiftly drifting away from me, schools getting bad, grades have all gone down, detentions are coming in!!! i dont kno what to do

if anyone needs to talk to sum1 who wont judge u. il just listen and try and help if i can. i'm here if u need me.

to shanna. i think ur msg tlked alot of sense! and it made me think twice.

i have rad what has been written! i am not really suicidal but i self harm because my life is a mess! i watched a programme on chatting to death! to be honest how do you know that these people have killed themselves?? u dont really know who they are! fair enough you may be very close to them but they may be messing you around! people who are strage say these things! im not gonna jujge but just think, are there people telling the truth or are they on here for a laugh?

i thought the same as u dead_evil. i'm not exactly going to commit suicide...i wouldnt be brave enough! but i am depressed an i self harm like u. i want to help people on here if they need help.

YOU ALL LOOSE. OH NO I KILL MYSELF. PLEASE PAY ME ATTENTION. NOBODY LIKES YOU KIDS BECAUSE YOU ARE ANTISOCIAL SO YOU DECIDED TO TAKE IT TO THE EXTREME. PLEASE GET SOME GOATS AND SOME NICE FACES BECAUSE THEY OFFEND THE WORLD

good point they may be having a laugh but what if there not? i would rather believe them than find out they have really killed them self's, i wouldn't be able to deal with that if i laughed at some one when they wasn't kidding about.
I watched that program on channel 4 called chatting to death, it really made me cry :o(

yeh 'chatting to death' was really depressing. i cried too!

a guy took and over dose on his web cam while he had people watching and after he took it he was saying called the cops and shit and the veiwers where saying take more and shit like that. and the guy who taken the pills said call my mobile if i look dead or summit, so one of them called, there was no reply and then he went to bed! i thought that was so horrible and he didnt seem to care that some one had taken an over dose!!!!

To poo, it's whats for dinner,
WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
you don't have a clue what your on about and your just a fucking retard!
piss off if you aint got nuffin smart to say!
fucking gay boy!

Life is all about living but i think opposite, i am having trouble with my life and i want it to end NOW, i tried an overdose at age 14, but didnt succeed. Now i am tring to slit my wrists or just jump of the M6 bridge or drown myself, I HATE my life.

My life has been so fucked up since my dad died 2 years ago.Ive been feeling really depressed since den but neva had the guts to attempt suicide but a show i seen on tv last night really made me think.I need to end my life soon before i go crazy

Dear Poo, the reason we feel suicidal is because of people like u, supressing us and ridiculing us. for 5 years i have put up with people like you, NOT ANYMORE! just get a life, if all u have to do with ur life is come onto a serious site that saves lives and mess us about then ur pretty sad, just fuck off

i will shoot my fucking head off wit this shotgun in half an hour please give em a good reason y not 2 and it better be good i have a dog he is so cute but the girl i love dfancies sum 1 elsa

well said Joe

plz tell me i dont want 2 but i must

Hi everybody, im new on here, im called Joe and im 15. i have been suicidal for 3 years, 3 years of hell. My aunt killed herself at the beginning of this year and i have not dealt with that properly. my best friend saved me from slitting my wrists and then told my mum, at first i was mad but then i realised if my mum knew, i had nothing to hide anymore. it is so hard to talk to my mum about it, i just sit and talk to God instead, in august this year, i went to Festival Manchester and commited my life to Jesus. He has been a great source of strength and some things in my life are improving with his love but im still suicidal. I had to come to terms with the fact that im gay, that was tough. Oh yeah between the ages of 5 & 7 i was sexually abused by a guy i knew. that fucked me up. i have never used one of these chat rooms before, i have been to scared to talk to people. i need help BUT i wana help others, e-mail me, reply on here, do woteva, please help me and let me help you

i just shot my foot!!!its fun

its me :-( who da fuck is going 2 help me i may as ell end it now

By the way, my hotmail adress is One_true_goth@hotmail.com

3 2 1 BAnfdssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

i think ure rooms are a good idea and can help people if used correctly thanx andy

i think ure rooms are a good idea and can help people if used correctly thanx andy

wow! already somebody has contacted me sayin they wana slit there wrists, i managed to stop them [for the moment]

i watched chatting to death and i would like to chat to that guy who was on it but i cant remember the name or where to find him. I think i could really relate to him. He was the one friends with penny. Can anyone help me?

hiya i am linzi i have never felt like how u all fell but my uncle killed himself and i seen wot he went thought before he did it and wot his family went thought after he did it nobody has to do that so plz try to think of another option if any 1 needs to talk to email me or sumthing ma addy is linzi_123@hotmail.com bye for now !!!!!!!!!!

i watched that guy aswell

The Dude On that program on Channel Four on Wednesday the 26th took a mixture of leathal drugs whilest on webcam. He died, b'coz he went took too much.

The program was about people who are suicidal, and people that use Suicide chats like thgis. The guyw whom killed himself was not depressed or suicidal, he jus wanted to look 'hardcore' in front of his 'net friends'.

He may of called for help to his 'friends' watching just before he died , but from their experience with him how the fuck were they to know he was not 'crying wolf' that time. Dont blame that dude with spikey hair who sat there and did nothing while his 'friend' died. He didnt know that the guy wasnt putting on a show, coz thats what he usually did!

In my opinion he did not deserve the airtime on that program.

awwww rach on da net syke.com or sum fing i fink datz who u mean his name waz amdy wernt it i tried 2 look up dat site as well but couldnt find it cuz it looked like there waz pplw ho could help me on there

hey joe...well said...hey peeps killing yourslef wont work...i dont care if any of you are against me for saying this....but i am a christian..and if you kill yourself you go to hell...which will not cure your pain....you only get one chance at this life...if you dont make the best of it and stop fukin feeling sorry for yourslef then you will never feel better, you have to put things into life to get things out of it...you can sit and cry to people for hours and pay thousands out pounds but unless you want to stop feeling like this its NO good, at all. sooo get out there try new things....do exercise (it lets out a netural inti depressant in your body) and get hugs or smile even if you dont feel like it, also..bananas help..they have chemicals the same as chocolate whcih make you happy. evryone has down pionts in their life...i had them alll the time, but sinse i became part of the God squad i have felt soooo much better and i highly recomend it

im probably gunna get a pile of b.s. thrown at me now, but thats what i think...remember someone loves u even if you dont think they do... if ne one wants to talk... bless_this_chick@hotmail.com

im going to work now so ill speak to you all later, bi bi lúv you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You lot are really strange - yes i have been depressed & yes i have tried to commit suicide. Unsuccessfully! But at the end of the day - you are your own god, you can control your destiny & you should get out there & face the world, not hide in your room crying, whinging, get a life & live it!

I hate knowing what it's like to want to hurt myself on the outside to kill what's on the inside. I just want the shit to stop!

i feel so shit right now i wish i could just drop death my familie is screwed my dad beats me and the only things that make me better are cutting my self or the thought that i could kill myself if i wanted
and steve and tracey would not even notice
(steve and tracey = my disowned perants)

Ive wanted to kill myself since i could remember. My father raped me when i was 11 and from then til wen i was 14 he abused me, but to stop me telling he'd hurt me. He tried to kill me once when i tried to tell my mum. She still doesn't know. Ive attempted suicide 3 times now unsucessly. I tried overdosing but my mum found me in time. I tried hanging myslef but the rope wasn't strong enough and it broke, rescuing me and i tried to overdose agen but this time my father found me and beat me. Life feels shit. Please help.

I have never felt so down in my life. Im 15 and i cut myself. Iv just got over anorexia and im on the verge of suicide. I have no friends as i got dont say much. I im going to try and kill myself in 3days time when my parents (an alcoholic dad and a mum who doesnt care) are out. Any advice on how to?

i have been feeling like shit l8tly i dont no wot 2 do my mom and dad dont understand wot im going threw i self harm i got beat up and they carved freak in my arm i dont no wot 2 do plz help me

right Kristie, u r not alone, u r not to blame an suicide is not the ansa. i was sexually abused for 2/3 years and i went to the police, the guy got found guilty, im over it now. my hotmail adress is One_true_goth@hotmail.com
contact me

In the next few days i shall also try again. I get this feeling everytime im in the same room as my father. The way he made me feel that first night. The way i felt when he threw me against the stairs and raped me and beat me. I have also been pregnent once from my father. Sick i know but i can't help it he's strong. But it didnt just start at 11 because when he used to bath me when i was about 5or 6 i remember him touching more than he should but i thought all dads did that at the time. I am now 15 but still he beats me. I know he will abuse me again and im scared, i rang the police once also but my dad came storming in and hit me. I don't know wat to do.

In the next few days i shall also try again. I get this feeling everytime im in the same room as my father. The way he made me feel that first night. The way i felt when he threw me against the stairs and raped me and beat me. I have also been pregnent once from my father. Sick i know but i can't help it he's strong. But it didnt just start at 11 because when he used to bath me when i was about 5or 6 i remember him touching more than he should but i thought all dads did that at the time. I am now 15 but still he beats me. I know he will abuse me again and im scared, i rang the police once also but my dad came storming in and hit me. I don't know wat to do.

Kristie, i know wot u mean about thinking it was normal, when i was abused at the age of 5 till 7 i thought it happened to everyone, now i know it does not, now i feel dirty about it. please do not commit suicide, i have only just started talkin to u an i care about u

My sister commited suicide and left me a note telling me why. I have felt depressed since and she even said in the note that looking at my life, if she were me she would do the same well i tried. Overdose and im really lucky to be alive.

Thanks Joe. Its nice to know someone feels the same. I try and avoid him but it's hard wen im forced to live with him. My mum and father might divorce and then i'd be stuck alone with him. (im an only child)

Kristie, why don't you tell your mum. She'll protect you. My mums helping me not try again.

MoreThanMental, ur sister can't be a very good sister to tell you that she encourages suicide and to even tell you you should kill yourself because only you can undertsnad how you feel. Don't feel pressured because of something stupid your sister wrote in a note. Maybe she angry at the time. I don't know but if she really cared she would have told you not to.

You don't understand. I do have a crap life, Hayley just pointed it out to me.

Well if you didn't feel it before it means you were content. I wouldn't say happy because lots of people are unhappy but not depressed or suicidal. All i know is dont try again.

Well i am and you can't stop me betch!

My mum helped me when i told her about the abuse, she contacted social workers who then involved the police, the guy was only 15 so he got community service. i wish he was dead but he isnt and it makes me feel i want to be dead. If ur living with ur dad then it is gona be hard to get away from him, go to the police station during school hours or some other time and tell them everything, say u dont wana go home coz ur scared, they will find somewhere for you, it is the law that they have to protect a 'minor' that is in danger. i know u dont want to make things worst but in the long run it will make it so much beta, im here for you if u need to talk bout anything, and by the way, it ent sick that ur dad got u pregnant, it is ur dad that is sick. none of this is ur fault

Dude you girl need to stop worryin bout ur sister says. Remember she was suicidal @ the time!

Hi every one,

If any one wants a chat my m s n address is here4u55@hotmail.com if any one wants a chat or to sound off or anything feel free to message me I will try to have m s on as often as poss. I can only comment on what i have been through (sexuall abuse being beaten by my father bullies at school my best friend took his life and my brother died from an illness) I still to this day get very very low and suicidal my self so i do know how you all feel.

Sean

It sounds like a good idea. I miss lots of days off because of my father anyway. As for the mum thing i couldn't bring myself to tell her.

Hey sean. Thats a good thing your doing. Im considering whther i'll add you or not.but thanks for the offer.

im really depressed if any off you guys can help my best freind and his gf killed them self's because of family probs and people judging them and me we were like family i have thought of ways 2 kill my self over dose tried that slit my wrist tried that

hi everyone i posted earlier and i've just brought over £100 worth ofes and vodka bye bye

Hi kristie

Its an open offer to you any every one any time i can not be here 24-7 but will be on m s n as often as i can

Don't chat that at me. You wudnt dare. You lifes perfect compared to mine. Big deal you were anorexic and i also cut myself. 3 days time. i'll believe when i see pictures!

And in case anyone was wondering Hayley (my sister) hung herself.

i didnt even know sites ike this existed untill i watched that program last night ' chatting to death'. i didnt realise they were people feeling the same as me, iv tried to kill myself 4 tims now , it obviously didnt work or i wouldnt be writing this now.
it aint as easy youd expect its actually hard work to kill yourself someone always manages to stop you momentariy or finds you in the nick of time,
and it makes you think for a day......mybe two and then your bck at squar 1 again feeling alone.
i aint onna sit here and say when im gonna kill myself becus im sure sum1 wud convince me otherwise. i know how to do it now and i know i ca its jus the timing i need to etight. until that time im here to listen ad understand.
so if anyone here wants o talk and let it all out a know someone is going throught the same just email me , mizz_mystique@hotmail.com .
iveemailed quite a few of you already i hope you reply

Hi, im aep (my intials to keep anon) Im 13 and i have considered suicide for a while now.

There are some girl @ school who treat me like crap and constant put me down and its gettin me depressed. I often wonder what the world wud be like if i were dead. My mum and dad are divorced and my dad and sister constantly argue.

It seems such a simple answer but i now at the moment i couldn't do it.

But at the ways things are going i could be dead before 15.

I hate bullying but i myself am a victim i im offering to talk to people. Although im only 13 i understand and believe me im not encouraging suicide when i say its 'simple'.

I also watched the programme. I have felt this for about 2years now but last nite made me realise i cud come to a place like this and talk it though. My case seems less than most here but i still feel depressed.

Don't let my age trow you off talking to me.

I am heart broken to hear some of you talk like this. I too watched that ch4 programme. I told one friend and she laughed at me saying that she knew I would be watching it cos I like depressing things like that. Well its because I can relate to it - but she does not understand. I have suffered with depression for years and no one ever seems to see it in me. I have learnt to hide it well over the years. I just feel lost. No one at the end of the day seems to want to truely understand but I can always see it in others and always want to make them feel more secure and cared for. I never thought I would write something here but having read what I have I am here to listen if you want to talk.

kirsty i can relate to wot your sayin coz my dad dose things 2 my bro the other day he put my bro who is 7 in hospital with broken arms coz my bro said no i tried 2 help my lil bro but my dad and 'freinds' kick the shit out of me i dernt tell my mom it would kill her plus she has got cancer and people at school dont help if yall wanna tlk on msn add me slitmywrist_6661@hotmail.com all i can hope 4 is your life getts betta and u dont resort to killin ya self

Aep its good you came here to talk and listen.

And no matter wat no-one says i will kill myself in 3days.

hey im back, i read ur comments and true i do agree that it is better to believe them but you never know whos on these things. Im here to try and give help, to give reasoning. i self harm because i find that speaking about things doesnt help, but self harming does. I dont no what it is about it but it helps me when im feeling depressed. i mean i got bullied 2day becase all of my family is split up and i dont get 2 c them and its so hard. I dont want to commit suicide, i just need to see what over people think......

hi everyone cheer up :o)
Hows nothing_matters has she came back yet?

Suicide is never simple. I can't, nor anyone, sit here and counsel! We all go through life with our crosses to bear. It's hard to understand anyones way of thinking or reasoning. Almost everyon has had a suicidial thought in their head, and anyone that says they haven't are lying!

I tried to kill myself last year but realised later that It was my way of screaming for help. I only came out as being gay some months ago but it was only after some serious crap happened in my life and a very manipulative guy messed with my head. Before I came out, not a day would go by when I didn't think about killing myself.

Now, thankfully, I have a partner and apart from the usual worries on life, its OK. One of the things that scared me was what was waiting for if I did suceed in dying? I don't know whats there. I can't say to anyone "seek help". Unless someone is in such a position, then they'll never know. I have a loving family, who supported me and helped me through. Remember, we all have someone we can talk to, even if it is through these chat rooms.

My dad passed away earlier this year, it was the hardest time of my life, and, if I can get through that, believe me, anyone can get through anything! All I can say is that I hope each and everyone of you manages to sort out your lives and once again be happy and remove the mask. Take care.

Joe you really do talk alot of good sensible stuff. I hope people listen to what you have to say

Well in 3days time i will come round ur house and stop you. Michelle you cant keep tryin this ur one of my only mates and i dont wanna lose ya too!

And i want u to know if u go i go!

(umm by the way michelle aka. MoreThanMental and i are best mates in real life but normally pretend not to be)<--- just so we dunt osund crazy!

Hi
I myself am a victim of bullying at school. I am 15 years old. I have quite a happy life but at time I just feel like I want to end it all. I only feel like this occasionaly but when I do feel like that, I feel I could just pick up a knife and slit my wrists. And I dont know why, There is nothing wrong with my life...

Does anybody else feel the same way...

Me i feel the same. On the suface i seem fine but inside i wish i had the guts to.

I lost my dad just over a year ago and it was the worst ever time to see him suffer like he did. I miss him so much it consumes my every thought.

Please Emma leave me. I know you understand. Don't kill youself if i do. Its not right. But will you tell my parents when they come back and tell them the note will be on the kitchen surface. If you wish to be there ur welcome but it wont change my feelings.

i feel the same way im livin a life i dont like so why live at all

Michelle. Im not gonna let you. I found you before and i'll prevent it again!

My gf killed herself last month, she used to come on this chat but i don't know the names she used.

Liam wat happened. i spoke to you before

i came home one day and she was layin on the floor with her wrists slit and a note saying :

Im sorry Liam, i loved you but i had to do this for me. You are not the reason. Dont ever blame yourself.

I will always remember those words.

Aww and u sed she seemed happier.

Im sorry liam. But shes right it probably had nuthing to do with you.

Im sorry too liam. im here if ya wanna talk.

Holy fuck there has been a lot of activity here today and most of it seems to be coming from the UK.

Did some improv troupe pick my site to host a production without telling me, or did I get a plug on a TV show or something?

Someone drop me a line. I'm curious about what is going on.

chris@lurid.org
site admin

People, tomorrow im gonna tell my family and the police and hopefully my nightmare will be over.

Well im from the uk. But anyone in the world can access this site so u get us brits on here. And its the first on yahoo wen u do a search.

Kristie ur not da only 1 frm da uk.
Im here if any1 eva needs 2 chat or if u need for sum1 2 just listen
my email address is barkyretard03@hotmail.com

This is the world I live in one of depression sadness and suicide on my shoulder every day and when it gwts real bad I get so close to it, so close. I have the odd good day but that is not enough,IS IT.

I was abused as a child and I have been paying the price ever since. Whilst THEY get away with it. Its not fair I am the walking dead, witing for that day to arrive, or hasten it for myself....

my husband killed himself 4 years ago, has anyone else been through this? it would be good 2 talk 2 someone that understands.

is there anyone here that wants 2 chat

Hi all,

I have just spent 3 hours talking to two people off here and they are so nice if any one wants to talk about anything my m s n is here 4u55@hotmail.com just come on over for a caht i will not judge you ever.

sean

If anyone wants to chat about anything then Im available. No religion and no judging by me. Today has been crap so far so lets see how the next bit goes.

Well im at school at the moment, in a room on my own. i am bein careful that no teachers walk in and see wot im lookin at coz i had to hack the RM filter to get on this site. Anyway, urm Sarah u sed that i speak alot of good advice and u hope people take notice of wot im saying. Thanks for that. it has reely encouraged me to keep helping u guys.
Death is a strange thing, some people fear it, some people embrace it and others have little statues of the grim reaper in their bedroom. If somebody truly wants to be dead then there is not much we can do to stop them because we have free-will and they will just keep trying it over and over again.
when i tried it the first time, my frend called me and sed that if i dared pick up the knife or stop talking then she was gona call 999 and send an ambulance straight round to my house. Next day she went to school and told my mum [my mum is a teacher at my school] I was so angry with her but then i realised that i had nothing to hide from my mum anymore. such a relief.
Kristie im so proud of u, i reely hope u do tell the police and ur family.
all of u guys are reely gud people that have had the wrong things happen to you, none of this is ur fault and dont ever think it is, ok?
speak to you all soon
One_true_goth@hotmail.com is my hotmail adress
Pogmathone15@aol.com is my e-mail adress

joe, that is so true i used to think that everything was my fault cause my dad always blames everything on me, he still does and, sometimes i do think it is, but i know that feeling this way is never ur fault cause every1 has ups and downs!

is n e 1 there?

i am

I think ia still here at the moment

well 2day i ave just woken up and the time is 12:30 and i all ready hate it y is life soooooo shit just killo me off b4 i do it my self

sum1 mailed me askin how they should die i dunno wot 2 say cuz every time i ave tried i ave been either pulled out of doin it or saved so i dunno wot i can say 2 her e-mail me dereks_sweet_honey@yahoo.co.uk or blue_everton_babe@hotmail.com
im tryin2 get ova it all pull my way through but all i can feel is the way u lot all feel and hope most of u pull ya way through it all ppl can get ova it but then i hope u dont get 2 bad and try and take ure life cuz well i no we all feel itz rite but just fink wot if u did it wrong wot if u only half managed 2 die like me sum ppl have been saved but y i dont no y cuz all we wanna do it just leave in peace and not cause ne more trouble 2 others
y is it all dark outside
y cant i brake free
y do all the people around me hate me
y am i me

hello

suicide is da only way i can fink of lossin my self that i cant b found and ppl wount blame them selves if i leave a letter and explain how i feel itz totaly diffrent 2 runnin away i face my fears but sum times they come bck and stab me in the bck which is wot i dont get cuz if i run away u can b found which i dont wanna b found so i could run away and kill my self datz a gd idea but then ppl will fink i been murdered oh y is life so horrible and decions so hard! ne 1 got ne gd ways i can help my self but not hurt others???

Hi all,

Will be around a lot today so if any one wants or need to tald add me to m s n here4u55@hotmail.com

sean

Hi i couldnt go through with it but i still have the stuff ready. I really wanna do it! somebody help me see the light

your all just sad "oh i wish i was dead" i know friends and family who have died from cancer and others but people who want to give there life is just bang out of order, why don't you just seek help and stop looking for attention!

sean tried 2 add ya but it wouldnt let me so u can add me if u want!

2 family members killed themselves. u dont understand the devastation u leave behind. stop and think of others b4 yrselves

hi, i was hoping to get in contact with someone who is like me. None of my friends feel like me and whilst i love them all dearly it will always be the gap in our friendship. self-harmer, suicide obsessor, music lover. lauren_elizabeth21@yahoo.com

suicidal_blue_biscuit

have added you now
should be ok let me know

sean

i feel so alone, but i know there are people out there like me, like that boy on chatting to death programme, i want to find someone like me

i cant wait until sunday today is the day. 07792 603443 call me if yah don'thear from me again

my email Kat2_lincs@hotmail.com

hey every one i'm here if you need someone to talk to.

my e-mails: W98229@dundee.biblio.net

please e-mail me its never as bad as you think.

anybody out there

Sean, talked to a girl today who says you helped her alot yesterday. She says you would be good to talk to and you sound very caring.I need to talk

Hey everybody! had an awful day at skule, i started a fight but my frends stopped me. all day i have been doodling and writing things i wana say to u lot but they dont seem important, u guys r more important so if u wana chat please do
One_true_goth@hotmail.com

PLZ HELP ME!!!!
CAN YOU PLZ GIVE ME SOME OF THE BETTER WAYS TO DIE PLZZZZZZZZZZ
FROM KAY

For the younger depressed people, if you wanted you can talk to me.... i will just listen or if you wanted me to i would give advice.. cheers, J x

here is some ways of killing yourself: hang ur self with DS rope or a stronge belt. take lots of pill (E, anti depressents e.c.t) and take them with alcahol, jump off a high building or some where high or jump infront of a train also stab or shoot yourself.

Oh but wait..... what if the rope or belt breaks or some one walks in? or what if u pass out taken not enough pills to kill yourself, what if you jump off a buliding or train and get paralized from the neck down? what if you don't stab your self in the right place or at the right angle? you must think about this.

You may aswell seek for help and get over it!

If anyone wants a friendly person to talk to and not judge them and have some one for once that will shut up and have all ears on you then feel free to email me at mizzpreedos@yahoo.com
Im a nice chick :o)

cheerz sean yea itz worked

I had thought the people i E asiled yhriogh this site may help, instesd they are the same shits I meet every DAY THEY MAKE OUT THEY WANT TO TALK AND THEN GO AWAY. THIS IS THE SAME OLD SHIT STOREY OF MY LIFE. PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME EVEN THIS LOT OF INSINCERE SUICIDES. No wonder you are in this state

hello malcolm, wanna talk 2 me

thanx emma for the advice
and pointers
from kay

erm i really dont no how to say this but i feel like i just wanna kill myself can any1 help me plz!!!!!

hey joe i just wanna say thanks plz dont give out my e-mail address

what's the point? nothing ever works. i can't even kill myself....tried and failed. it's sucks big time. what the hell is wrong with me?!?!?!?!?

HANDS UP ALL THOSE WHO ARE FAKING IT

ALL OF YOU

to be honist y would we fake being suicidle?

WE R NOT FAKING FEELING SUICIDAL! FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!

tut tut joe temper temper

I just don't feel most people are real here. Just after a bit of sympathy and trying it on. I just dont sense it from most of you.

Watch that temper its the basis for suicide.

I've not heard one person see that.. No one is really tuned in here...

that's really out of order! who are you to say who's faking anything. get over yourself! if you knew or felt anything you would say things like that.

I am in touch with my feelings that is the point. You just feel sorry for yourself

hi ppl i say that i am quiet suicidel i cut my self alot cos i cant handle things at skool and shit ive taken an overdose b4 but got caught and was taken to hospital i am very sensitive and ppl find it funny when i am upset plz help me..................

that's where your wrong. i don't feel sorry for myself at all, but do you know how stuff like wanting to kill yourself and selfharm feels like? cuz it doesn't sound like you do.

i self harmed my self i use 2 carve words in 2 my arm like kill me and die and stuff like dat 2 help ppl no how im feelin but it didnt work

tell me about it. if ppl see what you do to yourself they tend to freak out, or they do with me anyway. it's not the easiest thing to hind all the time. i really wish i could just hide away from everything and everyone.

yea ppl use 2 freak out and go mad with me but then they jusr use 2 read wot i wrote and fink aww so u wanna die then y dont u do it but itz not that easy ppl use 2 pull me out half way or save me but y

i don't think anyone really understands. i don't even understand why i do what i do so i don't expect anyone else to. ppl tried to help me, get me to stop. didn't really work

coz life is a gift and its not up to you to take it away!! You obviously want attention or are finding sumfin hard to deal wit and u c harmin urself as a way!

hi i am scott n i am really wanting 2 kill ma self because i fell in love wit a girl n ma best friend knew how i felt n he went n asked her out n now he is goin out wiv her so i need some advive on wot 2 do if i should kill my self or 2 not kill my self

ppl dont understand wot itz like 4 ppl like us they just fink were bein stupid and tell us 2 grow up

scott i know u feel down but dont u fink datz just abit of a drastic measure

IS NE1 THERE OR HAVE YOU ALL GONE AND KILLED URSELFS

FUCK YOU! get a life and stop acting like a child. if u have no real reason to want to talk to ppl on here then don't bother!

...

i wrote this for my m8s to see how i feel but no one even bolived me...!
" Dear GOD
plz help me! , my life is fucked.
can you plz not just send my up to you or down to hell or to were ever i belong just plz dont make me spend another year on this earth it just dosen't work! i am probably more likely to kill myself being alive than i am to live another year feeling this way! plz just save me from all the shit that is going on in my life PLZ. i know you think that i am really cool but i h8 myself and al i feel is shit. i am more upset being in this world than i am letting on to people and i know you know that and that is why i need you to save me from this world

Love from Kay
"It's Better to burn out than fade away!"........."

SCOTT...THERE ARE PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA!! DO U REALLY THINK SO LOW OF URSELF TO END UR LIFE OVER FEELINGS FOR A GIRL WHO OBVIOUSLY DOESNT DESERVE U IF SHE IS GOING TO MAKE U FEEL LIKE THIS!! AND THE SAME FOR YOUR FRIEND ASWELL, THEY ARE THE LOSERS IN THIS NOT U...DNT LET URSELF B ONE! HOLD UR HEAD HIGH AND PROOVE THEM UR BETTER

kay, ppl find it hard to understand y you feel like shit. i don't even get y i wanna kill myself and hurt myself. it's one fucked up world. sorry if i'm just adding to your downer, but it's how i see things. it's a shit view i know, but i don't know any better.x

hi every1 im not suicidal i never have been never will be pull yourself together people my grandad died a year ago i still mis him but he yust to tell me that ne1 gan get into prison but it takes a gooden to stay out and i agree so what ive gotta say to u lot is any1 can pull a trigger on themselves but it takes a gooden not to if ne1 needs help please email me

...

john if you've never felt it you can't say "pull yourself together", it's just not that easy. i'm sorry but it's not.

With a name like lost little girl that sure sounds like you feel sorry for yourself....

Are you a victim? you make yourself sound like one

what gives you the right to judge me. you don't know me or anything about me. u really need to think about other people's feelongs b4 u say stuff

Well, this is my first comment on this site.
Life started falling apart 6years ago when my mum died in front of me, my dad went with someone who hated me and her children used to push me down the stairs. Hes not with her anymore but things are still pretty bad, Hes with someone who also hates me. And i get the shit beaten out of me everyday at school, i don't know how i can carry on! i've gone from thinking about suiside to taking an over dose. Its hard for me to think on what to do, half of me wants to doe the other side of me is saying " What harm will i caurse my family?" At the moment i'm so confused, just so i should point put, yes i've had social workers for self-harm but i pretended to seem ok because they couldn't help they just made me feel stupid! i just need to talk to someone who feels the way i do, because i feel like a stranger to the world.

please help.

Flick.

anti-depressents and that dont work,suicide is in the mind,its sort of a gene that goes around everybody,a bet you everyone has felt this way before,so smoke a j and chill out relax and look at the positives if their is none look at the good times uve had if none again look towards a loved one for some advice, just some handy info to try and help some of use out,good luck and dont do it,look at who it wud affect

to flick av been in a similar situation before i told a figure of authority(the police) they came and had a word with the folk,they will only give u verbal abuse after that then just ignore it,and talk to your pals,ifr u decide to do it you will just hurt your family,remember the world is a big place and if ur old enough move somewhere new,or move to another school the bullying will stop,soon...the bullys are the ones with there descriminative problems.....choose wisely barcz

If anyone has any good methods please mail me

Look at it this way, statistics show that most of u who think about commiting suicide-dont actually do it, those of u who dont think of it are more likely to do it! most people who think of suicide are selfish in a way because even tho u feel unloved or are seeking attention, yeh killin yourself will do that but for all the wrong reasons-people obviouslt love you thats why your here in the world, theres people who die everyday due to factors beyond their control and they would probably give anythin 2 change that an there half of u want to end your life-wheres the justice in that? theres help there for everyone so why dont u stop bein ashamed to ask for it and just help yourself as well as your family!

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly

Whats the point in dying to live if you'r just living to die ..

***SORRY TO ANY ONE WHO TRIED TO CONTACT ME TONIGHT VIA M S N I WAS ON BUSY MOST OF NIGHT I HAD SOME ONE WHO HAD TAKEN LOT OF PILLS CONTACT ME AND THEY NEEDED 100% ATTENTION

SORRY AGAIN

SEAN

Changing schools is not easy... where ever i go i'll be a target.
I'd love to move because being here is a living hell i feel like im traped in a bad dream and cant wake up and i havn't been able to for a very long time things keep happening and i cant even make out its real or reality , and then i realise that i'm not dreaming because when i'm sleeping i can't remember anything, i'm just at peace at mind, and then i think is death like that?

MY Names Chantal. Im 15.My dad was an abusive toward my mom, never to me.. but yea, when i was like 11-12 my sister killed herself and ever since then ive been like depressed, suicidal...whatever.. i once tried killing myself but my mom found me in time. every fucking friend i have is backstabber.And yuh i have no clue what to say or type.. so ill end it at there..

you are all wankers and the sooner you die the better

you are al fornicating baboons

you are al fornicating baboons

MR HAPPY it is stupid fools like you who make peoples problems worse why dont you get a bit of compassion and a life ya arsehole

Sean Id love to speak to you Kat2_lincs@hotmail.com

methods ... or if anyone wants to chat mail me

Hi all, A bit of advice for all, I have been suicidal for most of my life and i'm now 36. I have taken cocktails of drugs, alcohol and tablets and I'm still here due to caring people like yourselves. The point I want to make is this and I believe this with all my heart. Every bad thing that happens in one's life comes a good thing. I believe that everything happens in your life for a reason, no matter how bad it is. Sometimes when those bad things happen you can't see a valid reason why it's happened at the time, but months later something else will happen, something good, and you will relate to the bad thing that happened and understand why it happened. For example, I dreamt of being a bus driver, it was my dream, petty dream maybe, but it was what i wanted for myself. I worked hard cleaning the damn things at first on nights, desperate to climb the ladder of being a bus driver, then i got my lucky break and they began to take me out on the buses giving me lessons. Then i had to take a medical and they discovered cannabis in my body and I got the sack, I was absolutely devastated to say the least and I fell into yet another depression. Months later I pulled myself together and had the idea of cleaning peoples houses while they were out at work. I put out some leaflets and now two years later I am succesful, I run my own business and i'm making it work. If they hadn't found cannabis in my body I would now be driving a bus, the dream I wanted so bad, but now it doesn't mean anything cos I 'm much happier doing what I'm doing. If i've offended anyone with my wisdom, I'm sorry.

Your all dealing with problems you need to face head on. The kind of depression most of you are dealing with is temporary, depressed becos of this or that. Look on the bright side, long term depressed people, the one's who are depressed for no reason usually end up in psychiatric wards suffering with mental illnesses such as paranoia, these kind of patients never very often get better becos they dont' even know whats making them depressed. Most of you in here are suicidal becos you have lost a loved one and some of you blame yourselves, some of you are being bullied and you can't take anymore, etc etc. All of these problems can be cured and if those problems weren't there or had never happened how many of you would stil be depressed. If anyone wants to talk with someone like myself who suffers just the same as you do then feel free to email me

I have found when things go wrong they keep going wrong. I have yet to find good from bad in my life. I feel I am constantly being driven backwards tol the only solution suicided. It's only a matter of time.

The people I have tried to communicate with here don't say anything and don't help. There must be someone who is genuine and wants to talk and not run away. So many have made out they understand but are just do gooders who havn't a clue.

I don't find that anything works in my life and every time I do try it fails and I'm fed up with being a failure.

I can associate with many of the comments people posting messages on this site have said. Although i have been depressed and suicidle before, my friends and family didn't seem to notice, and i suppose this hurt just as much as the depression itself. To many people my life seems perfect, my family life is great, my parents are fantastic, i have a lot of friends, i go to a grammar school and have achieved excellent grades. I am popular with both the boys and girls at school, and i don't find it hard making friends. I have a job, and my parents provide me with EVERYTHING i need. So why would i be depressed you might ask? This perfect world is destroying me, and to many it won't make sense. The pressure which is placed upon me is so great that sometimes i feel just like giving up. Friends and family do not kno the pressure which they are exerting upon me, and i suppose because i do not talk about it they don't understand my problems. I have a strong, loud, confident personality on the outside but inside i feel scared, lonely, and in desperate need of help. I watched a progrmam on channel four the other night called "Chatting to Death" and it seemed to put everything into perspective, if i died today, would anyone miss me? i know this may seem like a selfish way of thinking, and of corse if i commited suicide i would miss many people. But seriously, is the pain of life worth living for. In the end, this selfish world and the people in it,, are destroying it. I am only sixteen and the thought of growing up is the most daunting thought which has ever crossed my mind. I'm confused, and alone...

GO AND CHEER URSELFS UP INSTEAD OF FEELING SORRY FOR URSELFS

hey everybody! Mr Happy ur a wanker, i hope u feel like us some day! GET A LIFE TOSS POT

hiya i have sort of found away to tell every one about how i feel for when i die. make your self a diary for a year or a few weeks or months of whateva and when you will yourself make sure you have it with you and when they find you dead they can read it and see why you killed yourself!

just remember...there is always someone worse off than you....like there was a woman and everything she owned and loved had been blown up (by the RIA) exccept her daughter...for one whole year her daughter didnt leave her side...untill one day she told her dughter to go next door just one door away and get some chips and whilst she was waiting in there the little girl was blown up....this woman had had 4 sons, 1 daughter and a loving husband...but now she has nothing....most of you lot have roofes over your head...you have clothes..food...i have a mum and a brother and used to live on a budget of £13 a week... and thats it everyone else died (including her 2 brothers, mum and dad)and my dad was an alcoholic and left my mum pregnant with a my little brother with a debt of £40,000. see always people worse off than you.

peace x

i think you lot sould support each other and tell each other way to make themsleves happy instead of saying stuff like ''oohhh i know, write a diary for evryone to read when you die so know why you killed youself'' or ''i think you lot should stop complainin and just top yourself''..its really bad...and making people even more sucicidal! and if you cant see that you really are stupid! ni other words you telling poeple killing themselves is the best idea...your the one killing them! and if i was you, id be feeling real bad bad about it.

peace x

flick...i self harm aswell so i know exactly how u feel so if u eva want to talk....

Message from Here2Help

Our new support service is up : Please visit our website, we aim to put a stop to all this depression and anger...

http://here2help.8m.com/main.html

Thanks for choosing out support service...

We are currently answering text messages if you would like to text us please do so. Tell us your problems, worries, or if you just want to chat... Text this number

07746 547666 (Texts cost the same as your networks normal text cost)

da here2help service is good i just sent a text n got 1 bak in bout 1 min!

i checked out da website www.here2help.8m.com n it ses not 2 ring da number n i rang they didnt answer so they dont anser just letin u no

Feel free to text us, or email us with your problems. One of our staff will be happy to reply to you...

We will take no more than 5 min to reply to your text... And no more than 10 min to reply to your emails...

2 hear2help. i am feelin down at the moment and my mum hates me and i dunno wot to do i am lonley

There are also even more people better off than me.

don't use this site for promoting your own site go away and leave us to deal with ourselves. you bunch of no good do gooders

That can feel bad. Im sure your Mum doesnt hate you, you just have developed the impression of that over a few weeks, months or maybey years. As for feeling down, this is nothing strange, we all go through times in our lives when we feel low, or down. But this feeling will pass soon and you will be able to get on with your life again. If you think your mum hates you, why not sit down and just talk to her. About anything! This will help mend the relationship between you and her and will boost your self esteem. Please visit our site, for our Text service. www.here2help.8m.com

oy here 2 help. dont you go telling me what you are going to put a stop to. if you don't like it go away. You dont have to read this pain or take part in it. Keep it to your self and go away

to here2help. i think its really good you're helping in this chatroom.

some people want proffessional help but actually....this chatroom is for people in the same situation to share thier own problems....

some people want proffessional help but actually....this chatroom is for people in the same situation to share thier own problems....

Malcom. We are a new Suicide Help service. We aim to HELP people who are feeling down. We are not only using this site to promote our site, we currently are posting messages on over 500 suicide chat rooms across the web.

i wana die

shit, iv just taken 50 paracetamols wif vodka fuck shiit fuck i need elp peleease

07746 547666 pleees luk IM gaoa n die i sidnt ythink becfreo i tuk em!!!!!

pasoelase! PELA<S ECALLE MEM! !CALL ETHE COPS! HAJASHA AHEELP BPLEASE!

Look here 2help you don't get what this chat room is about. If and when we want help we will get it. This is to share our pain and expeiences etc. We dont want you poeing your nose in you are not wanted. Dont push your stuff here. you are lika a drug dealer.You have no understanding of this room.

you are like voeyers lokking in on other peoples pain. U r sick.

You make comments on issues you don't have a clue about. You can't tell people the stuff you tell them. Next you will be telling us that our parents etc are relly loving people.

The host of this site should bar yoy. This is not what we are here for.

My name is Mike, I am 15 years old. I am not really sure about how I feel at the moment. I am kind of thinking, if I could just drop dead right now, then I would. If it wasnt for my parents, and brother and sister, I would probably kill myself. I feel really fucked up at times. On MSN I have people from school, but they just block me. I dont really have many people to talk to, even at school I just get called names. I feel like If I could end it all then I would. Does anybody here feel the same?

I really wish there was a button I could press that would Kill me, without pain.

This chat room is fucking bollocks!
Im never coming here again!

if you overdose and decide u wana go back...salt water usually works...:S it did for me ne ways. or am i being very blatent here??

People from my view NO ONE and NOTHING is goin to help me no web site no person NOT NOTHING and that is that so i might as well die!
from kay

okies...if you think that y r u telling us? and....if somthings not nothing then it must be somthing...think about it...and when my mates want to die..they dont even have to think about it...and when i do feel fro evryone and know how they feel...i think telling poeple your giong to do it...yep im going to do it...i am...dont try and stop me..i will do it...hey im about to do it...DO NOT STOP ME is reli sad and if your going to do it do it, but i dont think its worth it....i think you and a lot of poeple would like u alive..even i would like u alive...

peace x

i am willing and ready to be friends to people hu think evryone hates them becausei like evrybidy except tony blaire who is a twat... and i am willing to be the person who cares for you and to be sasd at the thought that you would kill yourself.... talk to me at.....bless_this_chick@hotmail.com

yeah but like curt kobain said
" Its Better To Burn Out Than Fade Away"

from kay

as I sit here in tears
it's been so many tears
with so many fears
and many cereers

i am the the only one
everyone is gone
my life is done
it wasn't much fun

i'm insane n proud of it

I sit on the wall
can you hear me call
no one to care
so I jump from the chair

but then curt was drugs and shot himslef on stage...r u on drugs??? r u going gunna follow in his fooststeps and shoot yourself in the mouth?? i reli dont think its s very good idea...and when i have good ideas they are brill...and joe can vouch for that...so if you think about it..if i ave great ideas that work...when i have i think ideas r crap they muct be reli crap....

Sayin' goodbye, I'm sayin' good bye to life
Sayin' goodbye, I'm sayin' good bye to life
Sayin' goodbye, I'm sayin' good bye to life
Sayin' goodbye, I'm sayin' good bye to life

and no am not on drungs..............................................tho i shit i was

hi, im all fucked up 2nite!!1 i gave up selfharming and bcos of things that hapend yesterday iv just started again!!! im scared! i dont wana go bak down that route!! all my arms are slashed and i dont no what to do!!!!! im scared! all my friends think im a freak, the teachers wont leave me alone and i feel like i dont wana be here no more!!!! ARGH! help me!!!!!

I have just taken 150 Pacetamol tablets. How long will they take to work... I am home alone, so nobody will find me...

I feel kind of weird... A bit dizzy...

If I dont post another message within 5 Miniuts please ring my mobile number. If I answer then Im ok, If I dont then dont wory, I am happy...

07746 547666

who do people question you all the time? try to convice you nothing is wrong. is it all in my head? but why would it? i can't deal with the shit any more. there has to be a better way of getting the shit out than cutting myself eveyday. why wont it stop?!?!?!

hIYA i dunno what to say erm.... i get depressed at times

I don't think the odd good day of feeling ok is enough to warrant living. I feel its all round the wrong way.
It's a matterr of time for me.

Hiya erm.... i dunno what to say ok i get depressed at times i mean who doesnt...... it really anoyes me that i cant have what i want and cant be what i want....my friends are so lucky cos they are all really pretty and stuff and i just wish i could be like them.... all my parents ever do is nagg at me i mean i just wish that for one day i could experience not being in the world..... i wouldnt kill my self as i cant i have tryed but i can neva bring my self to do it............awww i really wish i could wake up and be someone else! but i cant so ill have to live with being me!!! but i hope its not for long because i hate me

i can't take it anymore!

i feel that way loads to!!!!1 i dont no why! i do at the momen i feel as if im not gud enuf for aneone around me and everyone is prettier!!!!!! dya wana chat bout things, i might be able to help

i can't be helped! something inside me wont let me talk. wont let me open up. all this is as good as it gets!

HI all,

I am here if any one wants to talk

i will listen and not judge you

Sean

sean i tried to add you on msn. duno if it worked. sorry to bother you, i don't mean to. sorry again!

use are all sad fucks get a grip you losers,if u seriously want to kill urselfs get a grip and get on way it no point chatting about it on a website............. some great advice fromm www.loadza_rope.com

did anyone call mike in here??

i tried calling him but it cut off, shit

IS SEAN A SPY FROM HERE 2 HELP A DO GOODER LOONG AT OUR PAIN BEING EXPRESSED

GO AWAY TRY LOOKING AT YOURSELF BET YOU CAN'T DO IT

I was raped when i was 4 and i have wanted to die since that day.I have tried to think of ways to kill myself,cuz the pain never goes away.Since then,i have been sexually assaulted 6 times and i jus wanna die.I have PTSD,flashbacks, and a whole lot of other stuff that makes me feel bad and makes me want to die.I have been suicidal for 11 years.It started when i was 4 and now i am 15.SOMEBODY,
PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE HELP ME GET OVER THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IS SEAN A SPY FROM HERE2HELP ? A DO GOODER LOOKING IN ON OUR PAIN.
GO AWAY HELP YOURSELF IF YOU CAN.

mike wont answer... do u think he is ok? i keep callin him all last yesterday n no answer... is he alrite?

right i am goin to sowwy for all the shit i have said and i have taken some peoples advice and thought about it and i am still deppressed but i still got all my m8s to live for i got craig to live for (my feonce and am 14)
and yeah my life may no be too good now but it can only get better from here

i just tryed now and i think his phone is swiched off
(the time in bradford is 12:53)

who ever said the first cut is the deepest lied, they keep getting deeper...why wont it stop?

oh my god, i just foned mikes fone n his mum answerd. hes dead and she was askin me wot i had been sayin n if i had spoke to him> i didnt reely think he wos goin 2 do it! god oh my god thats sad

oh my god, i just foned mikes fone n his mum answerd. hes dead and she was askin me wot i had been sayin n if i had spoke to him> i didnt reely think he wos goin 2 do it! god oh my god thats sad

hi. I've just got back from hospital coz i took an overdose of pills and vodka but somebody found me down a road. I still wanna die tho.

aaa

aaa

why not get someone proffesional to talk to about your depressions coz all that people give on the net are just their opinions

it's soon time.

i have to talk to someone...anyone, but i can't. i just want it to end.
(lost_little_girl)

guyz, i cant work miracles but i'm willing to email you or talk to you on msn. i'll listen and try to maqke you feel better.
but talking to someone on a chatroom isnt going to cure the pain that some of us feel.

I get the feeling many people on this plsce sre not genuine and are just here and winding the rest of us up> I have no doubt about this so FUCK OFF you lot .

the do gooders are at it again making out they are hip.

I'm off to a proper chat room with genuine people who are in diffculty to get some idetification and no fuckin people who say they can sort others problems out.

everyone knows that we have to sort out our own problems out. the only ones who don't know are the fucking do gooders who couldn't haelp themselves and havn't got aclue. I can see through you.

look. sometimes people need to have someone to talk to. someone to understand them. And if ur even bothered i DO have my own problems thankyou. I want to help otha people. I know how some people feel. I can relate to alot people in here.

i feel so trapped inside my own head all the time, i need an escape root badly. it just scares me that the only way out i can think of is death. i know everyone around me would be happier with me not around, i cause too many problems, cause too many people to worry about me and i hate it. i don't want to hurt anyone, but i think i have to, just to stop the shit. it's so selfish of me, but i can't find another way out.

the do gooders are at it again making out they are hip.

I'm off to a proper chat room with genuine people who are in diffculty to get some idetification and no fuckin people who say they can sort others problems out.

everyone knows that we have to sort out our own problems out. the only ones who don't know are the fucking do gooders who couldn't haelp themselves and havn't got aclue. I can see through you.
Posted by: at November 29, 2003 01:45 PM

the do gooders are at it again making out they are hip.

if that crap is all you say in this chatroom. y r u bothering?

hey if anyone wants to chat bout anything, normal things, just general conversation or they want some help with problems, then im here! i self harm and sometimes i need people who feel the same way 2 talk to so if ya wana chat 2 me then add me on msn or email me on bonnybaby32@hotmail.com fanx alice xxx

i find it kinda funny. i find it kinda sad. the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've eva had.

squish it's not sad at all. ur not the only one who feels like that about those kinds of dreams...trust me

nice to kno some1 feels the same. i hate waking up sumtimes!

i get that every morning. i wish i wouldn't wake up at all

i went thru a stage wen i just stayed off school for weeks becoz i just cudnt get out of bed.

i couldn't do that, i don't want my parents knowing that i feel like this. it's bad enough they know i cut myself, but if they knew i wanted to die...i duno, i probably want it even more. god that sounds sick.

my mum knos i'm depressed. she knos i cut myself an she read my diary so she nos i've bin suicidal...sux!

i duno what i'd do if my mom read read my diary again. i hate knowing that i hurt them. i kno if i killed myself they'd be even more hurt, but i just want the shit to stop.

sometimes i want to just take enough tablets to put me in hospital or sumthin...just to make them realise how much i hurt sumtimes.

but i doubt i'd really do it!

wanting to die is becoming a bit of a trend lately so i have come up with this i dont want to die i need to! im not one of those bullyed peolpe crying out for attention ! to the eyes of other people i have the perfect life... popular pretty i have everything i need.... bullshit people think all you need in life is to be liked loved and to have someone to turn to when you need hep i dissagree! with me its a case of i hate this shit! i hate being popular! i hate people liking me and i want to be left alone and the only way i can be is by dieing, dieing is also intriuging to me! in a way fun! one of the things i do like in life is pain not all cutting my self thats the chickens way of doing it! all these lemmings trying to be noticed crying for attention cutting them selfs thats also a load of bollox! the fun way around it is getting someone to hold u under water untill you pass out and its impossible to know if youl wake up! in a way death is kind of a fetish for me for the mean time im doing what i want to do then when ive nothing left to do im going to go in the most painful way imaginable i have a person lined up to torture me! that person is my best friend! anyway if anyone has the same fellings on the subject email me or if youve msn give me a shout! Coll3@hotmail.com

not sure how u can say cutting urself is the chickens way out. i cut myself. its got to a point where i dont even feel the pain.
i think about death all the time. its kind of an obsession. but i wudnt want sum1 to hold me under water :S
and ur best friend isnt a best friend if shes prepared to torture u. ah well up 2 u i guess!

ok nicola u wanna sorry need to die, but what gives u the right to say that self harm is a cry for attention. in some cases maybe, but not in all. i hate the fact that people know that i cut myself, i don't do cuz i like, fuck i duno why i do, i just can't stop doing it. it's not bollox it's serious. you should think yourself lucky that your liked. you might not like it, but that's life. it's a serious thing being suicidal, being depressed and wanting to hurt yourself to stop the shit. you shouldn't judge people on the way they deal with life, it's not fair!

Hi Anyone And Everyone Who Reads This, I am from the United Kingdom, I am Glad To See The Amount Of Help That I Avaliable To People In The U.S.A When They Are In Crisis, I Think That Everyone Who Faces Times In Crisis Should Have A Place Where They Can Go To Access Info Or Support Or Advice And Not Just Via Webpages. Its great to Read Through Some Of The Messages Posted Above and i hope in Some Little way anyone who reads this can get comfort in knowing that there is a way out of suicide or self harm and i am living proof.4 years and still totally free . My e-mail, if you need to chat!. Ian

the do gooders again

good morning people, wether to say tht is a bit umm wel i duno but anyway mornin! anyone got digital.. they have loadsa good oldies on at da mo! REM GNR BON JOVI loadsa shit that i love. im only 13 and i love it all..... well anyways i hope people are feeling better 2day! im feeling pretty good so i feel like posting sumat kinda happy....... the person who put 'the do gooders' quote in there last! people are only trying to help, sometimes its gud to now that someone knows ur position and are trying to help.... i sometime need help but sometimes i want to b completely alone because if people help me i feel worse cos ayb i dont want a way out.. but sometimes i do... people are just giving there opinion and there is nothing rong with that! let them have there say however u dont want it, however harsh...... just pay no atention of it.. this is what these places are for.. for people to tel there feelings and get opinions and feelings of others... :D

Anyone know any good methods that are un-likely to fail? mail me !

so far so good. hopefully nothing will go overly wrong or bad today. not feeling sooo bad, it might all change tomorrow though, have to wait and see. although i'm feeling quite good today, i still wish the shit would stop. it never seems to leave my head.

Hello, I am here again. I would just like to point out that the fucking idiot who said they phoned me and my mum answerd, and said I was dead can shut the fuck up! This is not true! I was found, by my mum. Please, dont fake shit like that please, its not funny and could be dealt with very seriously by the police or somthing. I am fine, but pissed off because once again, I failed at killing myself!

Larissa. There are some good methods available out there on the internet. The tricky part, is finding them. I, for one, would choose hanging as I have read that if you use a steel chain, tie it round you neck, and then put the other end somwhere high. Like, maybey attatch it somwhere to the top of a tall building, and then jump off the building, if you fall far enough it can decapitate you. Thats what I heard anyway!

And another thing. Whoever put my mobile number in a different message, please dont do that again. Dont use my mobile number and pretend its some fucking "Here2Help" service line. Thanks again...

I am currently on MSN Messenger, if anybody would like to chat! Im not trying to be one of those fucking "I can help you" people, I'm just saying that If you want sombody to talk to then you can talk to me! My email address is slitwristkid@hotmail.com

me again! like i said i am feeling ok, but i cut myself again last night, quite deep, they keep getting deeper, i know this sounds kinda sick, but i look forward to the day when i get the guts to go too deep. is that wrong?

Oh and by the way, sombody just tried to ring my mobile. Sorry to whoever it was (If they are in here) my mobile was in the other room and I couldnt find it but they hung up before I actually managed to find my phone! Sorry about that

im getting fed up of people saying 'do-gooders', we need people that understand and want to help us through this so why are you judging them? and whoever said that about sean is wrong, u obviously havent spoketo him hes a really nice guy n hes genuine and has helped me alot, so dont judge him until uve spoke to him. nicola how can u say that about people that self harm? uv obviously never done it so how do you know why they do it theres others ways to get attention self harming is serious so you relly shouldnt say its 'bollux' because it isnt at all.
ive met some really nice through this chat room and its nice to talk to people that feel the same.
if anyone wants to talk, i dont judge i can listen i wil try to help but im seeking help myself so i hope to hear from sum of you soon.
and its really sad about mike, i dont wantthis to sound sad but he sed hiself hed b happy so lets hope its wat he really wanted it is sad but he is in a better place now so rest in peace mike xxx

I would just like to say, thanks to Kita, for being concerned about me. I am fine now though. You told me you didnt readmy other messages. Your message was very touching. Thanks. I would rather be dead than living.

As I have already said. I am fine (For the moment anyway). My mum found me and took me to hospital. Thanks for careing though...

I have decided. 1st January 2004 at 12AM I am going to take 10 sleeping pills and a load of other stuff I can find, while in a deep bath. Drowning is an effective suicide method. Failure is not an option.

I am sorry to say this. Its all I want though, and I am not risking an overdose again incase I get caught. Until then, if you want to talk to me I am on MSN Messenger now. slitwristkid@hotmail.com
Or text.... 07746547666

*In death I will be happy*

This is the not I will leave for my family before I go...

Please dont cry for me
When I am dead and gone
Just get on with your own life
I wasnt ever really your son
You did what you thought was best
To try and bring us close
But all that happened was sadness and hate
That goes for us both
My life was good until dad died
I dont know what went wrong
For days on end I sat and cried
This pain has gone on too long
So here I say the last words
That will ever be said by me
When I am gone, never to return
Please know, that I am happy

(Im adopted, thats where the "I was never really your son" bit comes from)

*Note

the things that have happened with me seem so minor, so unimportant. i wish i was dead. nothing is important anymore. all the things i thought were there aren't. it all goes sooner or later.

Please add me to MSN Messenger! I dont have many people to talk to. I will talk about anything with you!

slitwristkid@hotmail.com

*In death I will be happy*

Does HTML Work on this page?

*In death I will be happy*

Suicide Is the only way out!

*In death I will be happy*

To the outside world people commit self harm, and become suicidle because something in their life is missing or they've been hurt in some way. For me, it is neither one of these or the other. None of my friends know i feel like this, or guess that i am unhappy in anyway. It is not because of something going wrong in my life as to why i do the things i do. The "perfect" image which may come across when people look at me is destroying in itself, i cannot explain this feeling but i know exactly what nicola is saying. As she does, i have the so-called m"perfect life" i am not the victim of some child abuse, rape, bullying, or any form of pshycological torture, i have people i could turn to in need and i have friends which support me in everything i do. My family are loving and also are there for me. The popularity which i have is somewhat destroying me, sometimes i wish to be alone, to be different, but the image which i have created for myself is holding me back. My friends wouldnt understand and are totally different from the feelings and world i have created in my head, i wish i could tell someone but i feel so far away from them and their world that its hard to put into words what im feeling, i just know they wouldn't understand. I don't think theres a straight out cure for depression, theres no answer that one of you can post in this message board, suicide is not the answer either, yet to many of us it seems the most tempting of the options. With time, i know i will get over this bad period in my life, as that is all i consider it as, i hope that one day, i can look at myself and who i am without the disgust in which i look at myself now.

hi. I've just noticed there are 2 people called nina in here. try not to confuse us, there is Nina and nina.

Someone talk to me... Im crying out for help here

i think i've lost the one person who i think can save me. i duno what to do now.

Im on MSN Messenger now. I dont have many people to talk to. If you want, you can add me

slitwristkid@hotmail.com

Talk about anything!

(I am killing myself 1st January 2004 at 12AM)

Please add me to MSN Messenger. I just want to talk to you...

Or text me 07746 547666

Please, I dont wanna laugh at you or take the piss or anything, I just wanna talk!

(I am killing myself 1st January 2004 at 12AM)

im quite worried about sean, has ne1 heard from him? sean wen u rad dis mail me to reassure me ur ok plz.

I think, I am probably going through the same things as you lot. If you want to talk, it would be alot easier to talk on MSN Messenger!

Add me (If you want to) Slitwristkid@hotmail.com

Or email me on the same address...

I wanna thank you Emma! (NeedsHelp) She stopped me from killin myself on saturday night and its her that kept me here. She didn't let me do it and for that im grateful but i woory that when she goes on holiday (for 2weeks she leave on tuesday) with her gone and nobody to stop me im worried i will. So Emma im forever thankful!

Michelle im always gonna stop ya! You've got to hang in there!

Hello,

Im going to go kill myself and as my brother goes on here i hope he sees this. Yea i mean you Kyle.
I hate my life and the things in it. Im going to the park and by the time anyone gets there it'll be too late!

GoodBye,

Fiona -DeathWish-

Listen up everyone, this is silly all of this promotional stuff. I have never been suicidle and i know its probally very hard to live and to feel the same was in which i do, and thats to live life to the full everything is rewarding. But listen, ending your life is going to put your parents, friends and a lot of other people in misery. Now i know all you want is to be dead and think that in heaven/hell wherever you want to be itll be fun and easy. But guys its not like that, you go back to another life, everyone does you will have to go through it again. But if you stick with trying to help yourself and at least dont die through your first life, then you will have a second life in which you wont regret and have the same problems because of which you will have learned. Please listen to what i have said guys, its going to be worth it, stick with life its rewarding why do you think god put us in this position? He wants us to be happy, you will be rewarded in great happiness if you remain and live life to the full.

Please take that all in, and please DO NOT kill yourselfs its not very rewarding honestly.

if there is a god, which personaly i don't believe, and he wants uus to be happy, somethings has gone wrong somewhere. i'm far from happy. i can't cope with it any more. i don't evem know how to be happy

For all those that live in the UK will know that in 2 Hours and 45 Miniuts it will be midnight. I don't really want to do this but my parents are out. They will not be back until 3AM. Plently of time... I just wanted to say, thanks to all the people that have supported me, and although you have not managed to make me reconsider, it has been nice chatting to you. You are true friends....

Once again my mobile number is 07746 547666... Call me if you want. I doubt you will get an answer.

Sorry, but this is all I want and nothing anybody says or does is going to stop me. Thanks again for being there for me, and supporting me. And most of all not judging me. I will be on MSN For another 30 Miniuts, then I am going to get ready, to say goodbye, forever...

God i hope you see this mike,

please dont do it it might beall yu want but your throwing away your future, your at rock bottom the only way now i up.

i dont wanna see you die, your a lovely person so please reconsider im begging you.

i hope you see this in time,

think of how upset the people will be that care about you, i hardly know you and i care about you.

youve got support now,........youve got me and my support it aint much but its something.

i dont want this to happen for you i hope you change your mind.

if u see this plz talk to me iv tried ringing you and cant get thru plz think about this mike

kita xxxxxx

When I was six or seven…I was sexually abused by a kid I knew. I think that is where I started to go wrong mentally. I never received counselling for that, I never told anybody. He said “it is just our little secret, and if you tell anybody then I will kill you.” Have you ever been so scared that your trying not to breath? That is how this kid made me feel. I told my mum one day that he did it, she didn’t believe me at first but then I told her that he did it to my sister as well. When the police got involved I had loads of time off school to go see social workers and police officers. Then the day of the court case came, it was in Birmingham. All day I sat in a room just waiting to be called, then I was taken to another room an had to speak to the judge using a live camera link up because I was to young to go in the court room. I could see him, he didn’t even blink when I described the pain an suffering he had caused. At the end of the day I found out that he was given community service. I was gutted.
From then on people have abused me, bullied me, and taken advantage of me. It has made me the person I am, it has made me stronger.

Jesus Christ is my biggest sourse of strength.

Daniel go away you don't know what you are dealing with. you are not qualified to comment. You are another nosey do fucking gooder. stop peeping in on others pain GO AWAY

Hi all

I am back around if any one wants to talk about anything i wont judge you

sean

a couple of months ago i was raped and i have not told any1 about it i have tryed killing myself but my best friend helped me through it. well she thinks i am betta now but i am really depressed. i no you're all gonna think wat a sad cow i am but i no the person. and i just wanna kill them for what they did they are 18 and i'm now 15 so if you've got any advice plz plz plz

hiya all
i don't think well i now my life cannot get any worse by the way mike drowning is not a goo way i have tried it and my sister found me. I was in a hotels swimming pool at nit so i thought i wood dive in with all my clothes , quick painless. you can't help but thrash about and it does hurt so there just gonna warn you ok if you wanna chat ppl txt me on 07734579504

erm last night i took 150 random pills and i still my wrist and my mum and dad dint even care
i dint even cut my wrist that bad but the pills made me feel ill!

Well if anyone was wondering that Fiona (My sister) did attempt to kill herself and no-one did anything. I say attempt because i saw this in time.
Thanks for nothing she could of died because of you all.
Kyle.

If you people need help then there are alot of places you can get that from but even though talking through ur probs may make u feel better all what the people on this site can do is offer there ears and listen. if u have got a prob then u need to seek pro help cuz there's jack shit we can do!

a couple of mins ago i took about 200 pill that were in the cabinet i am 15 and my life is not worth livin i have bin readin these pages for the last couple of months and alway thought that there is sum 1 worse than me but now i can't stand it i just wanted to say bye bye to ppl cya in hell (in a nice way) this is the only wy out

has anyone heard anything from mike? i've tried to call him all day and haven't got an answer. is he ok?

TO THE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT DO HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEMS AND NOT JUST PATHETIC LOSERS LOOKING FOR ATTENTION.IF THEY WANNA TALK E-MAIL ME OR LOOK FOR ME ON CHAT-ZONE.COM IN THE TEENAGE ROOM.

...

...

Mike, if you read this please get in touch with me someway, call, text, e-mail, anything. I'm worried. you have my number, but just in case, 07729555398. I'm here for you, you know that.

hiya it's me i've just been found by my fucker brother and he made me drink sseeeeeeeeerraa water i've been sick aboout 30 ttimeas now and he is gonna take me to de hospital woohoo speak 2 tya l8a

It has just come to my attention that this web site was mentioned by name during the Channel 4 program "Chatting to Death" aired Nov. 25th at 10:40pm.

If anyone has a taped copy or knows where I can get one, please drop me an email at chris@lurid.org

Thanks a bunch.

--Chris

Does anyone know if mike's ok? please let me know!

mike, plz if you do read this, my computer crashed yesterday, and then i tried calling you on your mobile, you werent answering, plz dont do anything that i dont want u to do, i seriously care about you, plz contact me as soon as possible on this, 02079047809, thanx

good news, mike's ok. he just txt me!

is mike real or is this all made up?

yes Mike is real you heartless bastard.

temper temper

Fuck you.

everyone calm down its okay,

Mike is fine well not completely but hes still living he texted me and asked me to send amessage and let everyone know hes okay incase you were worried,

its nice to see how many of you were caring enough to be concerned but rest assure hes still alive and well,

im sure hell be glad to know you all care.

kita

no fuck u

go away you stupid fuck, how pathetic are you? sayin all that shit that comes from your mouth, maybe the reason you're your being so annouying and rude is that you're not happy about yourself, so you judge other people,jus fuck off and leave us alone! asshole!

hi every1 im here if u need help email me and dont give up it int ur time to go

i have never done anything like this before. but i dont know where else to turn. i am a 12 yr old girl and i need some help.please

if you real if so email me mia i am hear for you i am 18 female and you dont have to end it you have lots of years ahead and maybey your own children one day how would you feel if your child killed herself

if you real if so email me mia i am hear for you i am 18 female and you dont have to end it you have lots of years ahead and maybey your own children one day how would you feel if your child killed herself

hope that every one is felling ok today probly not i used to feel like i wanted to end it but if i did i wouldnt have my life today with my baby and boyfriend they are my reason 4 living and they need me and i wouldnt miss being a mum 4 the world you dont have time to want to end it they need you 24 7 plkease reply hope this ghas helped someonex x

i want to end it b4 i ruin anyone elses life. i've done at shit job at mine and only cause others hurt. i hate it, i hate me.

Hi tom u wanker how r u this fine day. not very happy by your message, ahhhhhhh

mike if u read this, i'm sorry i didn't mean to snap, had a rough night last night, i know it's no excuse. i'm so so sorry.x

Hello
I am still here, thanks to some fuckin retards who managed to talk me out of doing it by saying "Your parents will be so upset and when they find you" and then some fuckin asshole said somthing like "Give them one last christmas atleast" and I was like... Shit, I didnt think of that! God!!

Thanks you guys!!!

(Thats in a nice way, not a sarcastic way!"

*In Death I Will Be Happy*

Look, this is to that total, fuckin immature dick who keeps poeting messages saying shit about people. Look, twat, why dont you just grow up and get a fuckin life! I dont know what the fuck you think you are trying to be but funny is sure a fuck not it! So, dick! Yeah, you can post a fucking message saying shit about me, because I really couldnt give less of a fuck about being called by some wanker who is such a pussy and wont even put a fucking name or email address when they post a message! I cant really think of anything else to say at the moment, and thats probably a good thing. Just piss off you sad, pathetic fuckin peice of shit, your not fucking wanted here. I bet you think your a big cool man (Or woman) dont you! Saying shit like "Fuck you" Oooh, look everybody, we have ourself a fucking comedian here! Yeah, you should consider a job as a comedian, Im sure you would make a fucking good one, but here is not the place to do it. Tara shit head!

I am currently seeing a counciler, and apparently I suffer from "General Depression" But I dont think thats the case. "General Depression" dont sound the type of thing, that drives sombody to want to kill themself!

my nan who i live with must hate me and i can't go on fighting with her she is makin me feel sick fightin her i can't win and even if i do sumthin rite i neva get praised i can't go on any more i just can't cope plz help me sum1

That has to be he lamest reason ever. And its sounds so fake. You wanna kill yourself because of a silly lil fight? Grr i hate people like you.

Kyle if you think that you can stop me again then ur kinda retarded. I'll keep trying til im DEAD!!!

Fiona

Thats the way i think too but my family lock me in room giving me only food and drink and some to stop me being bored. Im home tutored they say its the best way for me to stop. But it makes me want to more.

fiona your brother obviously cares about you so much. have you tried talking to him? it might help, you never know. sorry i don't mean to but in, but i think it might help you. i know what it's like to wanna die and not tell anyone who you care about. it's hurts me that i'm hurting them. please try talking to him, and if not him, someone else.
I'm not trying to talk you out of anything you don't want, just trying to help.

I have been abused by my uncle since i was 8 and now im 16. I have hung myself before but luckily my sister found me. No-one still knows why i did. But all i know is i will again...

You don't understand.

I want nothing more than to be DEAD.

DEATH is all i want.

I'm so hated and mistreated and to the point of SUICIDE.

I want to feel the pain of being STRANGLED to DEATH by a noose or feel ILL from all the PILLS ive taken.

I want those to be the LAST things i ever feel.

I want to DIE!!!

FIONA!

Fiona,

If that is how you feel why are you still with us? Im sure if you want to die that much you'd be dead. I think there is something stopping you.

Abbi *AbusedAngel*

Do you want me to set up my web cam and overdose live for you? I will. I'll kill myself right in front of you.

You know thats not what i meant.

Well i'm off to kill myself whether you want to watch or not. I must have at least 200pills with me and 3bottles of vodka and im home alone for 5hours. Plenty of time. Don't try and contact me. Theres no point.

As i know Kyle will read this:-

Suicide Note by Fiona

Every minute i'm alive i feel ponitless.

I have been scorned, bullied and even physically beaten and put in hospital. I self harm, have been bullemic and just want to die.

Kyle you were my only mate. you stuck by me and deep down i love ya bro!

Mum you made thigs worse at times but it isnt your fault.

Dad what can i say i disappointed you again.

Eleanor Thanks for being there.

Love to my family and Eleanor.

Byez Fiona!

No fiona! Please don't your meant to be alive. Don't!

Well Fiona. Goodbye.

Sorry people! It will fail, I know it will... But it wont stop me trying!

Bye d Bye

*In Death I Will Be Happy*

Everyone who reads this text or call Mike. He is going to try and kill himself. his number is

07746547666

don't do it has any1 got kyle_ike's number or sumthin?

I want to do this...
NO I DONT! Taken 5, give me a reason not to take the other 45

Everyone i dont feel so good. I just took 200pills and alot of vodka and i know i'll soon be gone,

No you cant have kyles number.

I feel like ending it all will be the only solution; I can't keep handling the feelings in my head. I don't want to die yet but I can't see any other alternative. I'm so unhappy and at least when its over, I won't be unhappy any more. It all sounds so pathetic, my reasons, but its where I am

Out of respect for Kristie, I will hang on another 15 Min, Please, give me a reason not to! I really fucking mean this dont think Im fuckin bullshitting...
PLEASE, STOP ME! I think ive lost it!
:`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-( :`-(

i can't get hold of mike it keeps saying the call couldn't be connected.please people keep trying him. please.

Kyles number is 07769874532 - at least i think it is.

i have txted mike but ne replie!!!! some1 do sumthin!!!!!!!!

Mike. PLease stop for good not not just for 15mins.

I'll help ya through this. Im here and so is other people on here.

Im getting worried.

i can't get thru to mike nether!!!!!!!

Mikes fone is fked

MIKE PLEASE I NOW I AIN'T TALKED 2 U PLZ STOP WE ALL CARE PLZ DON'T DO THIS I'M BEGGING YA AND I'M SURE KIRSTIE AGREES PLEASE STOP NOW

kirstie try the cops it may b the only way!!!!

This is scary now. I just passed out those drugs are getting to me.

Why the fuck does peopl care

mikes fone is fucked up i can't get thru!

Wow. I know death for me will follow shortly so goodbye. I'll remain on here til i die.

MIKE JUST STOP PLZ I NO U'VE NEVA SPOKE 2 ME BUT PLZ

Because we understand and i certainly dont wanna have another dead friend. I care even if others dont.

FIONA WAT BOUT UR BROTHER???? WATS HE GONNA DO WITHOUT U HU?

MIKE DON'T GIVE UP AND TAT GOES 4 U 2 FIONA!

I AGREE WITH kirstie we care honest

this is all getting too much. i'm buying shit loads of pills tomorro and some vodka. if i works and i don't come back. thanks for everything.

Mike please.....i care. and it's obvious other do. think about it.

Mike, Fiona and kirstie u there? plz sum1 answer Fiona i've txt ur bro PLZ BOTH OF U STOP

NINA NO U AN ALL PLZ EVERY! STOP WAT U R DOIN THINK ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF PPL U WILL HURT AND THE AMOUNT OF PPL THAT HAVE JUST SHOWN THAT THEY CARE!

SORRY TO SAY THIS BUT IF YOU LOT GO THEN UR THE PPL THAT I RELATE TO SO I WILL HAVE NO ONE AND I WILL DO THE SAME AS EVERY1 ELSE

...........................?

any1 alive :-( plz answer me plz

hello? any1 there plz i'm really worried no plz

...................................................

tomorrow! if not then maybe the next day. i'll be happy in the end. death has to be better then this!

please guyz stop now i'm really scared now i'm worried bout u all plz don't do this please

nina i sent u an e-mail plz don't not u an all every1 is going again

? hello?????

please talk

I hate me

i replied to ur e-mail. thanks for trying with me, really, i mean that.

Mike ur fone won't let me call u ?

nina if u wanna talk or txt wateva then here is my number: 07734579504 ok

mike? i need ur number mate just wanna check u ok any1 heard from fiona i've txt her bro but ne reply

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Blood Stained Hands

thanks nikki. my number is 07729555398. and i think mike is ok.

07746 547666 I cant answer, my phone is fucked

???/ please sum 1 talk

???/ please sum 1 talk

???/ please sum 1 talk

IF ANY1 WANTS MY NUMBER IT'S 07734579504 OK PPL EVEN IF U JUST WANNA TALK I DON'T MIND OK?

is he ok???? i came on here to help you after watching a programme

so how u feeling nina

dont do ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no dont u hv tons 2 live 4

is everyone ok? does anyone want to talk id be happy to help you

no i haven't heard from fiona or kyle or anyone. i'm feeling like shit. no one undersatnds, why do people try and stop you getting what you want?

seriosuly is anyone here?

im sure more people understand then you think they do

do you want to tell me whats up?

nina im new but i would like to talk to you

dont be scared to talk i only want to help, i cant say ill understand but my friend went thru this and i have come on the site she used to help others i know how your feeling because i saw her

hiya nina i'm worried about u mike and fiona i do understand my friend helped me thru my suicidal stage then she commited it herself. but don't od 2moro plz

what is it you want nina?

hiya kat u ok?

are you better now nikki?
if you can get better everyone can surely

im good i just want to help people who are going thru what my best friend did

i duno about fiona. mike i thought was ok. i was talking to him on MSN but he's gone somewhere. i'm worried about him. and i can't wait for tomorrow, at least then i know i can do it when ever i really have to.

(:-,)

can u plz not do anythin stupid 2moro i don't no y but i'm relatin 2 u plz don't

Mikes a bit angry I think, wonder why?

it was bad she od'd on...i wont say what i dont want anybody getting ideas ...it didnt work the first time but then she got her stomache pumped and died anyway and i just dont nderstand waht possesed her to do it i knew things were bad but i didnt know how i oculd help i felt so lost with her she didnt care at all she took pills abd evrythign, anythign to get her out of this life ....i just want to help every1 else.

(:-,)

would the asshole who keeps posting things about Mike stop. you obv. don't know him or understand anything. get a life and stop helping to fuck up others.

i no exactually how you feel because my friend did the same but she begged me 2 go with her i sed no hopin she wood stop but it didn't do a thing!

everyone wish me luck for tomorrow, i hope i can get everything i need. i only get 45mins to get it.

i am on a good day at the moment so that is good but i am really worried bout fiona mike and nina i don't want them to die

45 mins wot nina wot u on about???????????

Nina????

i need answers
1. wot are you gonna do 2moro nina?
2. 45 mins?
plz answer me Nina!!!!!

have you got her numba???

if you have ring her!!!!

be bk in 4 mins i promise!

has she got something in her house to kill herself with??? what does she eman 45 mins>

where are you goin? is she ok do u tihnk???/

ye i have i'll txt her

i've txted he but ne reply yet

oh no do you think 45 mins then.....u no

if u wanna get in tuch wit me and i'm not on the net then this is my number ok? 07734579504

i take that back she wont be that silly

ok

i have to go skool 2miz bye

i need ur number she txt me and i'm really worried i'll send u the txt if u give me ur number plz quick

i'm suicidal, and am thinking right now about getting one of my razor blades and just cutting my arm open, watching the blood well up, feeling the pain, because it is the only thing that makes me feel better-or, feel anything other than anger and sadness-because i have had the shittiest day listening to my sisters-hah, right-slag me off, calling me every insulting name in the book and several not in the book, insulting everything about me from my appearance to my iq to my fucking CAT! please, can someone out there just give me a fucking clue as to why i'm supposed to continue living this nightmarish excuse for a life because all i want to do is sink my blade into my wrist and be done with it. help. please.

Hello? anyone? please, i'm actually asking (begging) for help here for the first time in my life. someone, please, read this, and... something. i dont care, just stop me from doing something bad that i might or might not regret if i'm living later. please. my skin's itching, please, someone, stop me from cutting to make the itching go away. i dont know if i'll survive the cut or not and as much as i want to die-believe me i do-there's something... holding me back. but i dont think it's enough anymore. please, someone help.

Shit. shit shit shit shit shit! i have to be fucking insane! gods, i was just about to cut, i had the blade in my hand, when my fucking mum walked in and i had to pretend i was alright. shit, please, someone, i dont care what you say, talk about the fucking whether for all i care, but just someone, please, write a message and get me to stop thinking about sinking a blade into my skin and seeing the blood and... SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somebody? i inderstand if nobody's here, i mean, it is after midnight where i am, but i just want somebody to... i dunno. my head is so fucked up i dont know what the hell it is i want. but, listen, my email address is wickedweirdwitch@hotmail.com, no capitals, and if someone wants to email me, that's fine. you can say that you're suicidal or you dont want me to be or whatever you want. the only other emails i get are from this mailing list i'm on for these cool stories about this show i watch, and other than my cat that's the only thing i care about and what the fuck am i talking about? sorry, i went off on a tangent for a bit. my point is, email me, i'll definately respond, i promise. i'm going away now, but because i'm becoming something of a vampire and sleeping during the day, i'll probably check back in about an hour or so, both here and hotmail, so if you wanna tell me something, do it. bye.
oh, and i didnt end up cutting myself, i just nearly clawed my own skin off and fidgeted like hell. guess i do have some self-control left.

Um, hi. me again. dont really know why i'm writing this when it's clear no one's here, but i guess it's because i'm wide awake at quarter past one in the morning, there's nothing on tv, and i just need to talk because i have no one else to talk to. and i'm not being melodromatic. my two sisters hate me-they have said so, before they officially announced they dont care and refused to speak or even look at me for about two weeks before Penny got pissed off at something and decided that because i do not pay rent-i'm 16 for fuck's sake! give me a chance to find a fucking job first!-i was not allowed to use anything-tv, internet, lights, etc-and gave me a black eye when i tried to use the computer. this caused Sabrina to shriek at me for about half an hour. i have been sleeping on the sofa for the past week or so-we have a sofa bed, but i'm not allowed to actually use it because it takes up too much room-and apparently this is my punishment for being too 'punchy' when i never once gave anyone a black eye and the one Penny gave me doesnt count because i hit her first-i did not! truth is i like sleeping on the couch because mum doesnt know when i go to bed that way. on to mum. she doesnt give a shit. well, okay, she might, but she has enough to worry about with the other two that she doesnt have much time for me. they all know i'm suicidal, by the way, mainly because i have attempted it about five times before. twice i got picked up by the police for trying to buy ibruprofen at One-stop and refused to leave until they sold me more which was illegal. the first time this happened i went down to the station, lied through my teeth to the shrink and went home. the second time, i just ran the fuck away only to have the nice PC West follow me, stop me by the side of the road and try again. i ran away again. then, when my mum comes back from her holiday, he comes over to my house and tells her everything. fucking jerk! anyway, they all know and the only thing they have to say on the subject is: you're being so selfish. dont you care about us? matt-Sabrina's fiancee-is suffering unbearebly because his brother killed himself. okay, they honestly thing they can guilt trip me into living? and i dont have a single friend, so dont say i should talk to them. i mean that, by the way, the only people i have on my mobile's phone book is family. oh, and my dad lives in fareham with his new family, he only just found out i was suicidal-after a couple of years-and all he could suggest was 'feel better'. oh, he's a lot of help. um, sorry about all that, i didnt mean to rant. but, hey, at least you have some background on me now if i decide to post again. i feel a little better now, not enough to stop being suicidal, but a little better.
oh, and does anyone like anime? specifically gundam wing? it's my only interest, other than my cat, Misfit, so if anyone knows what i'm talking about, say something so i can chat to you about it and maybe stop think seriously dark, bloody thoughts for a moment.

Hey, u still there?

if you mean me, yeah i'm still here. if you dont, then probably not because no one's talking to me.

Hey, anyone know how many pills of ibruprofen-aspirin, for you americans-it takes to successfully overdose? i'm just curious because i think i've got about ninety-the bottle says a hundred and it's not quite full-and i'm just wondering if it's enough. i wanna know so i have enough on hand for when i finally work up the fucking courage to kill myself. you'd think someone with the courage to cut their arms would be able to kill themselves, but i've tried, believe me i have. i put the blade to my wrist, take a deep breath, and find myself making a cut so light it barely draws blood. aren't i a genius? feel free to answer this if and whenever you want. feel free to send me an email, my inbox is looking just as lonely and empty as i am.

Well, i'm going away now. i'm going to snuggle under my lovely quilt on the uncomfortble sofa and watch The Core. anyone seen that? great film. love Rat. and they mention Sailor Moon! (an anime-japanese cartoon-that i sorta kinda watch).
TTFN
Shinigami

you all encourage mike by saying how and when u will kill yoursaelves. so you are respnsible for his life.. fools

mike may be easily led and you saying what you will do especilly nina eggs him on to join in and also gain sympathy. If you really wanted to help him you wouldn't be doing this.

Ever think that maybe we aren't egging him on, we just feel the same way and want to talk so that we don't feel so shitty? and if you're gonna post, put your name on it. dont be such a coward.

hi people is any1 there?

Hi I'm Hannah, an ex-suicidal person who would like to help, be someone to chat to if anyone needs it. I do not advocate suicide, I know how it feels for it to feel like you have no other options and i fully respect anyone who feels that way, but i really hope you don't kill yourselves, some of you seem so young you haven't really given life a chance yet! I might be wrong and i might be patronising, but i truly believe there is hope for all of you.

Hannah UK

and to the person who wants to know how many painkillers, a lot and it is painful and long and your family will probably find you and you will probably chnage your mind when it is too late. if you do not take enough and live you will have severe medical problems for the rest of your life. so really overdosing on painkillers is an awful desperate way to die.

i am going offline now, but if anyone wants to chat about their feelings email me hannahcsharpe@yahoo.co.uk

hi everyone, i know that everyone on here wants to kill themsellf but i am different. i have had many friends who want to kill themself come and talk to me and i have tryed to help as best as i can, im not saying that i persuaded them not to do it, because if it is their decission then wat right do i have to take that away from them. All i want to say is that if anyone wants to talk i am here for them.
xXkjXx

Fuck It All...

Life is a lesson, you learn it when your through!

Fuck everything!

1st January 2004

Im going going going! 1st January 2004...

hiya sophie u ok?

Mike don't go on the 1st of jan please i'm begging wot so crap in your life that you have to go?

any1 there????

........................

Hows Fiona? Kyle?

hiya kyle is fina ok? cus i waz worried about her!

kyle???????

...........................................................................

what do you think...?

Mike, how are you gonna die? can ya tell me because that girl Hannah says taking painkillers is bad and unpredictable, i dont have the guts to slash my wrist, so could ya tell me how you're gonna do it?

I cant list everything that is crap in my life! But a fuckin lot is! 1st January 2004

No she's not ok.

You only talk about Mike what about my sister???!

NO!!!

kyle i tried to get your number and tell ya about ya sis is she ok?

?????

mike hows u?

Overdose on sleeping pills, while in a deep bath so I kinda drown. That usually works, lots of people have done it. And if you slash your wrists aswell, you loose alot of blood so that helps.

Overdose on sleeping pills, while in a deep bath so I kinda drown. That usually works, lots of people have done it. And if you slash your wrists aswell, you loose alot of blood so that helps.

Fiona is in hospital in a coma.

Retards!

i tried to get hold of you last night kyle. i duno if i did or not. i'm sorry to here about your sister.

i brought so pills and alcohol today. gonna get more pills tomorro if i can. i'm counting down the days.

Name: Michelle
Age: 15
Location: In my room
With?: No-one
Doing?: hanging myself
Last Words: Death Really Is The Only Option!

Michelle! No dont please. Im coming over.

Michelle Don't plz nina i tried to get old of kyle as well!

To the idiot who said the retard comment: SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL DIP YOU IN KETCHUP AND EAT YOU LIKE A FRENCH FRY!!!!!

ur all a bunch of fuckin fakers get a life. or a death hahahahah SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!SPAGS!

The doctor said the longer thes in the coma the less likely it is she'll wake. She took about 250 different drugs. She may die at the end of this. I hat emyself but she goes i will too.

You know, I think Fiona and Kyle may be the same person! Just trying to get a reaction!

FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUF!

FUCK YOU THE ONE WHO SED SPAGS!

FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUF

ARE YOU STUPID. HOW DARE YOU!

MY SISTER IS IN A COMA BUT YOU INSIST IM MAKIN IT UP?

GET OFF THIS SITE. MY SISTER NEARLY DIED THIS SITE IS HERE TO HELP AND SHARE FEELINGS NOT JUDGE OR BE CRITISED. GO AWAY.

i know fiona and kyle and they are brother and sister.

i really hope your sister pulls thru. And to the sad fucker who keeps writin shit about the ppl on here i think u r the one who's tryin 2 get attension

Me too

Kyle can i come with you to see her?

I haven't seen you in days i need to see you.

y dont you come round now. I need to talk to someone.

i have to go now but i'll be on later ok then bye bye
Nikki xxxx

i hate my life! i want 2 end it! my head is so fucked up that i cant do no more about it!!!! i feel depressed! i feel like i wana hang myself!!! i hate my school i hate my family and i hate everyone around me!!!1 the only person that has stuck thru this is ma maths teacher.. mr edwards... hes helped me so much but i just feel that it isnt good enuf!!!!1 it s helped but recent events have sunk me back down 2 my lowest of low!!!!! please help me!!! i need help!!!!!!...... alz

i thik there is only one, maybe two people who can stop this, the problem is i don't know how to tell them. i love them both in different ways. i wish they understood. they both know i want to die, but i don't think they know they can stop me.
I'm counting down.....

nina, maybe you just need to drop some subtle hints and let them know that they can stop you, or just tell them straight out. i dont know. i know how it feels to desperately want help but be unable to ask, so if you can't tell them bluntly, just drop hints, ya know, like say hiw this person helped this other person the way your person can help you-if you have to read that a few times to understand it, sorry. of course it might be possible that they're unsure of how to help. a lot of people dont know how to deal with suicidal people. i dunno. maybe they're just afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and making things worse. *shrug*

Hey, is michelle alright? has anyone spoken to her or anything? someone should see if she's still among the living.

goodbye.......... i feel the drugs runing thru ma brain, i feel the pain runing thru ma vein.. i c ma life on the other side... i c the death as plain as day.. i see the way in which i wana stay...

Hiya nina it's me wat the fuck are u counting down??????

suicidal bitch, what have you done?

for fuck sake.. not even that went right...... i shall start again....
goodbye..... i feel the drugs runing through my brain, i feel the pain runin thru ma veins, i c ma life flash b4 my eyes, i c ma life on the other side.... i c the death as plain as day.. i c the way in which i wana stay....

Pain, pain,
rain, rain.
life is so bad that i feel the claim...
after my thoughts, go into the night.
Bang! my life is before my eyes...
grounded through time.
erosion grows on the inside.
Bang my life gone,
Shit my hart is wrong!!!

i just wanna no how many ppl on here are gonna od or commit suicide soon?????????

what do u think nikki? it's gonna happen soon. maybe not tonight. but soon.

suicidal bitch, have you done something fatal or what? say something dammit!!!!!!!!!!

oh for fuck sake.. i got on2 ma 6 or 7th pill and ma dad found me...... this is bollocks, had 2 hide everyting cos ma dad dont no im suicidal or self harmer!!!! y cant i die wen i have the bottle. now i have 2 wait for fuckin ages to have anova attempt.. i woz savin those pills for months.. 1 so that my dad dint notice a vast majority gone and to 2 wait for the right moment to kill maself! yet again it has been taken away from me!!!!! argh! get me out please some1...:|

i no i don't even no any of you but i am really worried about all of u!

Please don't i really don't want you 2 go plz i'm beggin ya PLEASE

sorry got names mixed up typin in a hurry!

Suicidal bitch, if you took six or seven pills, you might feel a bit weird for a while, depending on what you took. you might feel sick or something, and i suggest you drink lots of water.

i am now home alone and really depressed so this will be my only chance backin a min

the sicker i am the better it is,, at least then i no im not far off from doing it..... :| it's 5 past nine.... i have found some whisky.. does that help matters?

Only chance at what? what are you planning on doing?

rite i am back wit a bottle of vodka and 8 bottles of unown pillz

Suicidal bitch, no! no alcohol! you might want to feel sick now but you probably won't later! just read a book or watch tv or something but dont drink any alcohol! water, dammit!!!!!!!!!

this whisky is not helping at all....... im scared .............

all my friends well the people i now are goin. in a coupe of week i'm not gonna have any1 2 talk 2 thats if this don't work!

Dammit, okay, look, my mobile number is 07709609680. phone me and we'll talk!!!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't wanna be alone i don't like it but y would any1 wanna wit me I H8 ME

it hurts to smile sometimes. i hurt myself on the outside to stop the shit on the inside, but that only works for a matter of seconds, not even that. i'm so alone, no one around me seems to understand. if only they knew. maybe they could do something. doubtful, but maybe. ever since i was young i've not been wanted and known it. it's time to stop the bull shit. the crap in my head wont go away on it's own. i have to make it stop. the sooner the better!
counting down....

i hope my brother don't come back early he'll get a shock!

who me....... i have to go and be sick....... im going all dizzy.....

nikki, nina, i feel for ya, i do, and i wish i could help, but i'm worried about suicidal bitch, but if you wanna phone me i will definately talk, just let me know if i can help, even for a moment. i've got my phone in my hand, someone ring it, dammit!

well how wood ppl feel to be abandoned by there mum and then told that your dad just don't want ya thats were my trouble started since then i .... i just can't handle it be back in 2 mins gotta do sumthin. i have to do this

im only 14..... i hate my life..... i dont no why i have done this...... i dont think i shud hav done... i dont no what to do......

i'm back..............just

Okay, nikki, nina, suicidal bitch, you have my number, dammit, phone it! please, i want to help! no one do anything until you've spoken to me because i might be able to do something and i dont want this on my conscience, not that i wanna make you feel guilty! come on, just ring me!

wat else can you drink that makes death cum quick plz need ideas had 10-11 pills nearly out of vodka

my number is 07709609680!!!!!!!!! PHONE ME! I'm going up to my room now to try and calm down and someone just please fucking phone me and let me know that you're all still breathing because i think i'm having a heart attack!

fuck it i bin really sick every things cum back up there gonna kill me when they get bk fuck it HELP I'M REALLY SCARED NOW i feel dissy help!

i have no credit....my head hurts.. iv finished being sick...... iv got a glass of water but my stomach feels all weak and sickly... i have text you shinigami.... dont ring me..... i need 2 rest.. i hope im ok for cross country 2moro, ovawise i think i may colapse on the 3 mile course.... i am scared! my hed hurts. my stomach is hurting and im all dizzy, iv finished being sick though.. wats rong with me????

bin really sick everything cum up counted tablets 18 in all i'll b ok i think
luv nikkixxxxx

right nikki i'm gonna call you. please answer your phone

thanx for bein worried shinigami i txted u weres nina i'm gonna stay on here i feel a lil dizzy but brother don't care thats nice of him boyfriend cummin round now he will help me

No running, sb! badness! you need to rest! okay, everyone, panic attack over, i'm calmer now. there's this good site i found where messages come up almost instantly and make it easier to talk. dont know the address but if you go onto google and type in suicidal chat rooms, its the last one, talking about guidelines. there's never anyone there but i like it and i'm going there now because messages come up almost instantly, like i said. if you wanna talk to me, go there, okay? bye.

NIKKI! what have you done? please tell me please?

i think i'm fine boyfriend graham is helpin my yeyh

I'M fine u gonna go 2 da other cat room?@??? see i can still type

well ur soo worried bout me wat u done???? wot have u taken

i wish it would just end now. i want it to end now. i want to be happy. no more pain. no more hurt. no more shit. there's only one way to get that forever......

post me the like shinigami. i will come in...

nina u ok? i is gonnnns go 2 the othr oom u gonna cum ?>

wot u doin now?

nina, nicki can i have the link please?
can u post it for me cos i can t find it...:|

i can't help anyone, no one understands me. everything gets taken the wrong way. i don't know what to do any more. i have to try tonight i have to.

To all that has ever tried to help me or listen to me.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to do.
nothing has gone right, not today or any other day.
I wish I was Dead.
and so tonight i have to try
i'm sorry
but it's for the best.
for everyone.
bye.x

NINA?

NINA DONT!!! JUST DONT DO IT!!! YOU DONT WANT 2!!!! PLEASE DONT! IV JUST TRIED AND I CUDNT GO THRU WITH IT !!!! U DONT WANA DO IT!!! PLEASE JUST DONT!!!!!! IT MAY FEEL RIGHT FOR YOU BUT WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE! I UNDASTAND U NIKKI UNDASTANDS YOU! IF WE DONT FULLY THEN HELP US UNDASTAND!! JUST PLEASE DONT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!

go 2 google and type in suicidal chat rooms the last on at the bottom of the page click on it!

U BETTA FUCKIN NOT KILL URSELF NINA I'LL RING THE COPS BECAUSE I AV UR NUMBER U BETTA NOT!

U GET BACK ON YOUR COMPUTER AND STOP TAKIN ANYTHIN AND JUST FOCUS ON THE PPL WO CARE!

???????????????????

NINA!!!!! ANSA US!!!! DOES ANE1 NO NINA'S LAST NAME????? SPEAK IF U DO COS THIS IS SERIOUS!!!!! COME ON PEOPLE......... SPEAK

COME ON PEOPLE THIS IS URGENT!!!! ANSA US!!!1 THIS GURL MAY DIE! WE DONT WANT THT ON OUR CONSCIONCE AND WE DONT WANT HER 2 DIE!!!!1 ANSA US GOD DAMNIT!!!

something just doesn't stack up with these messages. not all but some are wind ups and not genuine. its hard to know the difference so i'll go to another site.

does anyone have her number, someone can call her???

it's hard to know who really needs to talk and needs help. It's spoilt by the ungenuine ones who stop the others from getting help. I hope you are proud of what you do to fuck up oters you wankers you know who you are.

hi! it's me. i tried. got half way through and freaked out. i took god know how many pills and drank half a bottle of vodka. i feel like shit. but am still here. i wish i wasn't!

mike i'm sorry. please don't have tried. don't follow up what you said to mea earlier. please. not cuz of me. please.

Hi, Shinigami here. Nina, glad you're alright. me, Nikki and suicidal bitch tried like shit to contact you. you gave me a heart attack. please dont try that again? email me at wickedweirdwitch@hotmail if you want or something. nikki is being taken to the hospital by her boyfriend and will be back tomorrow night, England time, but she is reasonably fine, i think, i spent a couple hours chatting to her. to the person who posted about people who say they're gonna kill themselves and dont mean it, you're right, they are wankers, but anything from me, suicidal bitch and nikki is true, as it is for nina and mike. to those people who waste space-fuck off! alright, i'm done now.

'some day some how i am gonna make alright but not right now i know your wondering when'

'could make it asa= blind man couldnt cut it as a poor man steeling and this is how you remind me of what i really am, its not ,like you to say sorry i was waiting on a diffrent story this time am mistaken for having you a heart worth braking'

'take every thing from the inn side and throw it all away coz i swear for the last time i wont trust me self with you, i donty know who to trust no suprise,
every one seem so faraway from me,
hapythought sift thorugh dust and the lies'

'all the lie in me, all that dies in me, how can i live with out you'

these songs make me feel better even when i feel like shit (allthe time)
from kay

does anyone know a site for genuine people in difficulty and not playing theses games. If you were doing half the things you say you would be dead you are mostly fucking about and causing problems for those of us who are genuine in need. It's a bit odd one moment you take enough drugs to kill a horse and the you are ok you shitheads

i know what you mean but y would some one mess about with peoples minds that way
to be honist this site has made me feel slighly better when i 1st came on this site i had tryed to kill myself 7 time and every time my mum had ound me and then i got to talkn to some people on here and my life started to come back but it keeps droping every time i leave here my life goes bak to how it was
i wish i could saty on here all my life but i cant t is physicaly no possible(i wish it was)

from Kay

Hi Kay, I hear your problems and expect you are one of the few people who are not playing around. Hang on in there you have a strong life force. I get the same way a lot of the time.

thanx but can you please not talk like that round these people because they are as serious and they can get so its not wise to fuck about this their emotions

No wonder people can't help Mike. Everytime they try he slags them aff and they get fed up. Go do it now Mike Dont wait for 1st Jan 2004. Youre full of shit mate

Michelle is ok. I got to her house in time. Im helping get thru it.

I think a lot of these people are illiciting sympathy when they are not that bad. As Isaid before if the took half of what they say the do they would be in no state to be on trhis site they would be dead or in hospital for quite a time. IT IS THEY WHO ARE FUCKING WITH US PEOPLE WHO ARE IN GENUINE NEED> SO FUCK OFF YOU TIME FUCKING WASTERS> THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF>

You may not see Kyle on here for a while.

Last night Fiona was in a coma.

This morning at 4:53am she died as soon as she woke up.

See, this is what happens when things like SUICIDE are among us.

R.I.P Fio!

I agree there are alot of exagerattors(however u spell it) on here and some fakers.

omg! I hope Kyles gonna be ok? I cant believe shes really gone.

i didnt know fiona, but i have read many posts about her. i hope she is in peace now. i know that she will be missed. kyle, i'm sincerely sorry. just remember, dont bottle things up inside, because that's a mistake i make frequently and look where i am. tell people how your feeling, or just put up a message on here and just rant. i for one will read it. i hope you get through this okay.
Love
Shinigami

i've just heard about fiona. i'm really sorry. i hope nikki is ok today. and well, i don't really know what to say.

hello i've heard about fiona, i am soo sorry kyle

Kyle told me to tell you all he is ok but obviously not good.

i'm fine went to hospistal they sed if i had took 2 more pillz i would have killed myself. u ok Nina?

Nina, how are you today? feeling a bit better?

i stopped bein sick after 5 hours

Nikki i'm sorry i didn't txt u earlier, my credit is running low. i'm not great today, but better then last night i guess. i'm sorry i worried everyone.

shinigami thanx alot 4 last nite you were a real help

Nikki, hi. listen, i'm glad you're alright and everything, but i gotta tell ya something. i won't be able to come back on this site for a long time, possibly forever, because my sisters found it and told dad and emailed him all my posts and it's all just fucked up. i enjoyed chatting with you, and i'm really gonna miss you. oh, and you can't text me because my phone has mysteriously 'vanished' from the table where i left it last night. wonder what happened to it? you've got my email address right? it's wickedweirdwitch@hotmail.com. email me if you want. bye.

don't worry about ti nina. i hope u start feelin betta soon.

i'll miss ya and i will e-mail you i promise

well i had over 45 pillz and 2 bottles of vodka last nite i still feel very ill

................

I am beginning to have my doubts about this chat room. alot of people seem to have "Killed Themself" but then are talking on Here, and on MSN The very next day! I dont get it. I have attempted it 2 times since coming to this chat place, but alot of people dont actually sound that convincing. Sorry if your all true, but I am very sceptical.

Does anybody in here know anything about Fiona? I heared somthing about her, somthing like she woke out of her coma, but then dies seconds after. I am not sure weather to believe this...

i wish that shinigami couls stay on she helps me alot! How are u Mike? i'e never spoken to you

Chris (Site Admin) Could you please, sort of, clear this chat room so we can have it like new again, because It is getting so full it takes ages to load up again every time I refresh it. Is this possible?

*Unhappy Dayz*

i got told that Fiona had died at 4:53 am by Abbie thats the girl who nows kyle and Fiona

Nikki, I am not too bad right now. I have been better and I am considering killing myself again tonight! But I dont know yet, am not too sure about it. Do you have MSN Messenger? Add me

Unhappy_Dayz@hotmail.com

*Unhappy Dayz*

I am not too sure about that whole Fiona thing... Does anybody in hee actually believe it?

?????????????????????

i don't really no much about it i was in hospital all night so i ain't red any messages

.

mike u there????

Yes, I am here

.

Look, speak to me on MSN Messenger

My Personal Details:

Name: Mike David William Taylor
Age: 16
Material Status: Single
Hobbies: Computers, Music, Drawing
Things I Hate: Lyers, Fakers, Internet Popups
Mobile Number: 07746 547666
Email Address: Unhappy_Dayz@hotmail.com
Fave Films: The Exorcist, Stigmata, Halloween H20
Other Things: If your a faker, fuck off!

Nina, I'm sorry! Please unblock me

it's like resading a comic book here and just as funny. everyone takes enough pills to kill a horse then gets up again, just like a toon. your all sperman just fucking amazing and full of lies and shit.

dizzy. dizzy dizzy dizzy.

Nina is saying she is gonna overdose...

fuck you asshole. u know know jack shit about anything or anyone. leave us the fuck alone! please

Nina, Your a fucking bitch! And I dont know why the fuck anybody cares about you anyway! Your not worth shit! And never fucking ring me again you bitch! Just fuck off. I hope you die a painful fucking death. Bitch, no wonder nobody fuckign likes you! Now piss off and leave us all alone. Kill yourself, do us all a fucking favour.

mike that fuck you asshole wasn't for you it was for the guy/girl who wont leave a name. i'm sorry if u thought that was for u.

Yes I know

i can't do anything fucking right any more!

LEAVE NINA ALONE U BASTARD

!

Nikki don't iut's fine

i am really depressed now and i don't no wat to do plz help me nina or any 1

nikki what's wrong?

Nikki i'm so so so so so so so so so so so very sorry. but i have to go. please someone talk to Nikki. help her as i can't. PLEASE!

You calling me a bastard Nikki! Fuck you then! Fuck all of you! I dont know why I am fucking here anyway! FUCK YOU! Maybe I wont be back again...

help please

look i'm really sorry mike i am but i'm not really with it sorry again please don't be like that!

i have to go now sorry again mike

3 and a half hours 2 live! it better fuckin work this fuckin time

mike you said you weren't gonna try tonight. you go i go rememebr. please. you've talked me out of it tonight, now help yourself.

mike please!

somebody talk. please i can't take this. fuck. miuke please!

wot are u doin mike????

Nina i cut my wrist really bad how can i stop the bleedin plz ansa

?

i can't do this

i've just about stopped it but it really hurts now

i'm sorry nikki.

can't dowat nina? tell me please

NINA wat are u talkin bout tell me!

nina????

i can't stop this. any of it.

y are u sorry?????

nina ur worryin me waot r u doin???? wat can't u stop?

I CAN'T STOP ANY OF IT!

hi was up?

i don't know what to do any more, i'm loosing controll more and more everyday. i don't know how to help anyone any more. i just don't know

ok calm down. fuckin hell i still have a dizzy head from last nite!

ok rite try to calm down i no i'll being a idiot but just try and calm down

to everyone who's ever been on this site. i'm sorry. i wont come back. i'm not going to kill myself, not tonight anyway, who knows what to future will bring. i hope you all get over what ever it is that hurts you safely. i'm sorry. bye.X

i don't no wat to say to you or how to help because i am just really depressed.

I cant remember who the fuck they are or what their name is but there email address is Mizz_Mystique@hotmail.com, and they called me a "Fucking selfish cunt" because I didnt want them to help me! In other messages I have said "In death I will Be Happy" Ah well, now I will be happy! Whoever the fuck you are, I hope you BURN IN FUCKING HELL YOU BITCH BECAUSE YOU AINT WORTH SHIT!

:-( Goodbye Mum, Goodbye Dad.

Goodbye the rest of you...

Ah well

*In Death I Will Be Happy*

nina plz don't go i'm beggin ya don't leave me all alone plz u no i hate bein alone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

nikki, please dont be depressed. why not talk to graham? he'll cheer you up. hey, why dont you get him to prance around in you long leather coat again? guarenteed to bring a smile to your face.

Mike not you aswell nina has left me don't plz i no you won't listern but u sed january the 1st thats wat u sed!!!!

he's left me!

thats y i am sooo down

nina, mike, please dont go. come on, nikki really needs some friends right now, and i think you do too. why not talk to each other? i know that sounds so cliched and everything, but maybe it really will help. please. i dont want any more people to die today. come on, please?

nikki, what do you mean? graham left you? as in permenantly?

i don't think i can be alone no more i can't do i havn't got the strenght to do it i just can't

i mean the bastard fuckin left me he new wat i would be like he wants me 2 ie i no it!

nikki, hold it, dont do anything drastic. um, why not call Shinigami? i'm sure if you email her so she has your address, she'll email you back and give you her home phone number. come on, you said she really helped you.

well he's gonna get his wish!

AGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

THIS IS IT I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT I'M SORRY

hey im going to kill myself now

bye Nina bye mike bye who eva u are that talked me about grham bye

Nikki i'm sorry i'm not leaving you. i'm not leaving anyone. i just can't take any more. i know it's selfish, but that's me, people tell me that everyday. i'm sorry. i don't want to hurt you or anyone.

a couple of hours left
then im going going going

i'm gonna call him and tell him i'm gonna die in about 34 mins!

ummmm nikki, hello

MIke why are you doing this? please. just talk to me. why? don't shut me out. please

MIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEY MIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEY

WELL MY TIME IS ALMOST UP GOT A FEW HOURS LEFT 2 DO WHAT I WANT THEN ITS GONNA BE...

MIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEY MIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEYMIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEY MIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEYMIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEY MIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEYMIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEY MIKEY GONNA DIE MIKEY GONNA DIE NO MORE MIKEY NO MORE MIKEY

Hey ppl im dad has just killed my mum right in fronth of me and thn he killed his self so im all lone now in the house and there is bleed everywhere. I'm thinking of killing myself coz there is no 1 that loves me no more and i have just broken up wiv my boyfriend and i was way his 8 month and 3 weeks and i loved him so much and now tht is over i dont to what there is to live for.
So this maybe the last letter i write to any one.

PLZ SOME ONE I NEED HELP!
life life is screwing up again plzzzzzzz
my life is just going upside down. my dad has come home drunk and i know that is a bad thing coz every time he comes home pissed then i get it!
plz help me............kldshga j.onailowghna kl ;rflekgj;ljf;aslkfjlkjsal n........arggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

ARGH!!!!!!!1 ALL OF WHAT YOU HAVE SAID IS HURTING ME....... PLEASE DONT DO IT!!!!! DONT LEAVE A CONSCIENCE LIKE THT ON PEOPLE!!! ARGH MY HEADS HURTING!!!!!! MIKE....... WHY WERE YOU GIVING ME DIFFERENT METHODS OF HOW 2 KILL MYSELF AS IF U WANTED ME DEAD..... U NEARLY DROVE ME 2 THE EDGE!!!!!! I CANT COPE WITH THIS ANYMORE!!!

even if u don't leave me nina i'm going in 31 mins i've gotta

STOP!

nikki please don't. please!

fuckin hell i h8 my dad
i think he broke my left arm
and mike just leave her yeah she needs you but she dunt need you telling her how to help her die man!

a silent grief thats in our heart
no human eye can trace
for many a broken heart is hid
beneath a smiling face

well 28 mins and counting

NIKKI! U CANT DO THAT! U WERE TRYING TO STOP NINA AND IT HELPED! NOW LET THEM STOP YOU!!!!! NIKI A HEL OF A LOT OF PEOPLE CARE BOUT U........... JUST DONT DO IT.......... U DONT HAVE TO.... AND B4 U SAY YOU DO.... YOU DONT!!!!

well 27 mins till i show every1 the tru side of me IN DEATH

Look, I am really sorry about everything I have said to everybody on MSN Messenger just now! I am so sorry, but I cant wait until 12:00AM

I am going to do it now...

Goodbye and it is nice to know that at least a few people in here liked me, even though they dont now.

Goodbye Nina. :-(

:-( Bye everybody! My time has come (Or shoudl I say, come to an end)

Bye

but y shud i stop you (no offence) really care it's just so u don't get a guitly concience wen i leave this muther fuckin shit hole!

mike i'll cya there mate ok?

NIKKI I HAVE YOUR MOBILE NUMBA AND IF I HAVE 2 GIVE IT TO THE POLICE I WILL........ YOUR NOT GONA STOP ME... UR NOT GONA DIE...... U CANT LEAVE US AFTA ALL OF WHAT HAPEND YESTERDAY.....

well 16 mins till i leave yall

fuckin ell graham has just turned up and sed that he has bin on the site and red wat i was gonna do he always ruins it y can't he let me go i ned to die to feel free!

be careful

Nikki, this is shinigami. dont go. please. i'm having a heart attack because i can't contact you so please just dont go. email me and i'll email you my home phone number or somehting but please, i want and need to help but cant because i dont have my mobile but please dont do anything.

well he has taken the pillz off me so thats great i am now stuck on this earth. i h8 him he always ruins it he new i would not last the nite god i wanna die!

I THINK MIKE HAS GON... HE HAS JUST GONE OFFLINE.........cant anyone stop him.... doesnt ane1 have his mobile numba........... stop him... he shudnt do this.... and nikki dont do anefin........ and if ur ignorin me then dont....... u shudnt do this.........its a big mistake....

hiya this is graham do u no if she has takin anythin at all did she say cus she has passed out but it could b cus of the stress i took pillz off her they were all there so i don't no?

plz ppl i need 2 no so i can help her

please i just need to now although i think she is coming round can u just ansa me?

Hey i have this m8 right and i over heard summit to do wiv them so i told my other m8 and then they told them what she had over heard some one saying about them and they r not taking it in and they just will not accpet tht its the ture wot should i do to help my m8 out? if anyone can help coz if they can hurt this time they r going to kill their self and they r a really kool m8 and i dont wanna lost them over summit so stupid

shinigami, help me.... nikki is killing me..... if she goes i am going to........ i dont no her well but i no her well enuf... i dont want her 2 go... shes scaring me..... i tink tht i am going to loose the plott 2nite....

look i'm now pissededd off more than anything i don't no but i just blacked out and no i did not tak anythin plz i won't kill me self i ain't gt anythin to do it with anyway.(yey i am sooo happy) (NOT)

I'M FINE (UNFORTUNATELY) GRAHAM IS NOW TAKIN ME TO HIS HOUSE THE JOY SO I CAN BE "SAFE" AND BE WATCHED

ok now? i'm not dead

I cry and cry on the end of my bed.
looking for words inside my head,
the pound starts to come,
my head starts to run
and so do the feelings that i want over and done.
my boyfrend has dumped me.
my life is in tethers,
i think all i need is some drugz and drink
to end all this pain and the life i dont want 2 lead...

HELP

could someone please put up a list of who is still living because i dont know about mike, nina, suicidal bitch, and that faith person. please. i lit a candle for fiona, i wanna know if i should light any more candles. i'm worried.

Well everyone,
it's been a little more than a month since I last posted a message in this forum. In terms of how I am feeling and my outlook on life has improved greatly. I broke up with my girlfriend, yet the breakup seemed to release a weight which had been bearing down upon me.
I have some suggesitons for people who are feeling suicidal, unpopular, or insignificant.
Sports and excercise are known to reduce levels of both stress and depression. I decided to get back into sport after my accident, and since my recovery, both my mental and physical health have rebounded. Feeling good about oneself is the most important attitude anyone can have, and I strongly beleive that it starts with achieving personal fitness goals. You don't have to be a world class athlete, or a neckless beast, start small. It was recently that I began to create workout plans for individuals who were by no means fit, or athletic. It was after a few weeks that the individuals noticed results, and their positive outlook on life was soon to follow.
Of course excercise can't fix everything, I am aware that many of you have scars that can't be seen, fixed, or forgotten, but I urge you to take out your frustration at the gym, park, or baseball diamond. Plus, it's great to be among people who are determined and goal oriented, it's positive reinforcement.
Mike&Ike

hiya Faith is kay
hows you i really need to talk to you just me and you coz i want you to under stand what i am goin throught......!
if would be good for you know what know i am goin through coz then i have some one who knows and understands how i feel

y do people talk about you when you sat right next to them in lessons........y do people make out that your a dum ass when they have only seen you once..........the point i am trying to get at it is why do people only hit you when your down to make you stay down when they could stop and think about how much they are hurting you and help you get back on your feet.
at my school :
people dont care the teacher dont give a fuck and if your hurting they will just help they kids make it worse insed on help you back on your feet.
people just dont understand they meaning of pain untill they have been in our shoes....... and i h8 people of that!!!

y do people talk about you when you sat right next to them in lessons........y do people make out that your a dum ass when they have only seen you once..........the point i am trying to get at it is why do people only hit you when your down to make you stay down when they could stop and think about how much they are hurting you and help you get back on your feet.
at my school :
people dont care the teacher dont give a fuck and if your hurting they will just help they kids make it worse insed on help you back on your feet.
people just dont understand they meaning of pain untill they have been in our shoes....... and i h8 people of that!!!

i think everyone who is suisidal is mental i once put my neck on a train line and that was enough to put me off killing myself. if god wants u to die then you will die in your own time. life life to the max and enjoy what u can.

but how can you do that if life is always fighting agains you
and when no one in this world wants to help you fight back and live your life to the full...????

yeah well your a stupid bitch who has no idea of what its like and now i h8 you too because i swear it i am goin to get a knife and slit my wrist agin man i h8 people like you

hello again well my attempt last nite obviously failed after my ex looked on the site and came to my "rescue" the bastard!

i am pissed off and deppresed and everythin really so howz u all?

Graham, if you're reading this, go stop nikki, phone the police or an ambulance or something because i can't handle her death right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does anybody know anything about what has happened to Mike?

apparently he overdosed (again) n is in hospital... that is all i now rite now

by the way bye!

is mike gona be ok?

Is this what Marilyn Manson meant when he says "Disposable Teens?" Haha, you lot are fucking pathetic!

does any one know what happened to nina? and ian can i have your email, or somethin plz, coz i need to know fully wat happened to mike, i didnt come online yesterday, i jus did and i read all this stuff that mike was gonna commit suicide or he did, and im really worried about him, he's my friend and i really care about him, so plz email me back soon as possible, thank you

hiya we are not pathetic get fucked u shit

vicky mike is in hospital he is ok and i ain't heard from nina cus she ain't txted me so i can't help u on that 1

NIKKI! i got ur text today............. this is suicidal bitch's dad.............. she is in hospital because of an overdose... i want to know what happened..... come into the other chat room... i will use her name.... ok?

ok then i'll c you in there

thanks nikki for telling me

vicky does that help?

This is great, better than the simpsons, no one gets sick all using double names and sending yourselves e mails. FUCK OFF OUT OF IT and leave this site to those who are in nead all most of you need is a punch in the fucking gob you shitty time wasters, you don't know what you are dealing with.

Im not trying to be judgemental or critise anyone but if your all hypocrites.

If you want to commmit suicide and you attempt it and i tell you not to then i do thats so fucking messed up.

Im sorry but no-one who talks people out of it then does it themselves has the right to comment. Yes i know you want to help a friend but instead when you talk then out of it, try remember the things you say to them because it may be the same for you.

Im being blunt now.

Its so nasty. If your going to be truly happy in death you probably wouldn't be alive but if you keep being talked out of it it means your not meant to die because you have doubts.

I talk people out of it yeah, but i know the things i say to them work for me too.

Do ya understand or am i waffling on?

Kris

Im not trying to be judgemental or critise anyone but if your all hypocrites.

If you want to commmit suicide and you attempt it and i tell you not to then i do thats so fucking messed up.

Im sorry but no-one who talks people out of it then does it themselves has the right to comment. Yes i know you want to help a friend but instead when you talk then out of it, try remember the things you say to them because it may be the same for you.

Im being blunt now.

Its so nasty. If your going to be truly happy in death you probably wouldn't be alive but if you keep being talked out of it it means your not meant to die because you have doubts.

I talk people out of it yeah, but i know the things i say to them work for me too.

Do ya understand or am i waffling on?

Kris

mike just called me from hospital... he ses he will be coming out in about an hour they just need 2 do sum final check ups and tests 2 make sure he is recovered. 50 paracetamol tablets he sed he took... god i feel sorry for the bastard. why does he keep failing?

I dont meen that like oh i wish he actually dies. i just mean he keeps tryin and bein found or it dont work!

sorry posted twice. oh my addy is kristie_killah@hotmail.com

sorry posted twice. oh my addy is kristie_killah@hotmail.com

grr... and agen

im glad 2 hear mike is ok. why dont anybody on here actually talk
or do they n its just me that is blind?

Slit wrists? Been there done that.
Overdose? Been there twice, done it twice.
Trying to hang myself? Been there done that.
Drowning? Been there tried it twice.
Suffocating? Been there tried that 3 times.
Jumping off a high building? Been there done that.

Suicide? Tried it 10 times!!!

I hate life. I hate life. I hate life.

hi, i know u guyz mite think i'm stupid sayin i want to help an u probably think i cant....but if i can help anyone then i want to try. i've been through alot, maybe not as much as sum of u guyz. i've been suicidal and think abt death often. but i feel i mite b able to help sum of u....

I was raped at 9. I feel like dying. Please help me.

rape_victim....if i can help by giving you someone to talk to....

i got to go now but if anyone wants help, needs someone to talk to then just email me at prittykitty03@hotmail.com

Help me. Im only 11. I hate life. I want to die. Please help me...

Its not fair. I know the person who raped me and he has to look after me and im end up trapped in a house alone wiv him and im scared coz he raped me three times now. Please help he hurts me. Please its not fair.

Im really scared my mum and dad just left. Im trapped. Please help me. Im sitting here in tears all because of him and its not fair. I just wanna die. Help...

I know it seems silly but stay away from him as best as u can.

rape_victim i was raped by sum1 i now and is he there now????

go down stairs and get sumthin 2 defend ya self wit if ya think he's gonna do it again!

Im back from hospital! FUCKIN HELL WHY DO I ALWAYS FAIL!

MIKE GOD I WOZ WORRYD BOUT U !

Yes. He gives me these looks like he wants to hurt me im scared.

well get a weapon and have ypu got a lock on your room door if so lock it and stay in there!

if you have any probs txt me on 07734579504 ok rape_victim

Trying again... Right fucking now!!!

mike i'm not goin to stop u cus this is obviously wat u want so u luv darlin!

Thanks a fucking lot Kat. I get out of fucking hospital and then you tell me to fucking go to hell!

rape_victim u there?

??????

ACTUALLY NO! I aint gonna try again because of some bitch! Im gonna put my fuckin life right! OK KAT! GO and fuck yourself you fat bitch! Iv seen your pic! You look like a right fuckin fat slut!

....................

mike u gonna b ok?

has any1 heard from nina yet i ain't heard from her in ages

?

NIKKI come in2 other chat room of your about need to speak 2 you, thanks

mike were did u go?? :( u left me

ok the suicidal_bitch cya in there!

suicidal_bitch i can't get back on the site

plz s b contact me

hey my comp messed up and i cant get bacxk in either,,,,, what a loada pants!

graham came back and i sed sorry and so did he so we are ok now

am we talked for a bit

good im glad, i new he wud ........ that chat rom has messed up

i am ok are you ok?????

he asked me bk out and i sed yes

?

well im glad that its ok now.... sorry but i have to go now........ im tired and my dad wants me to go to bed erly cos of last night... buhbye take care xxx

u there suicidal babe?

ok then babe nite

any out need to talk. im here to listen

any out there need to talk. im here to listen

Mike is a liar!!!! He doesn't mean any of it He's so full of shit you could call him pat!. All he wants is people to feel sorry for him cos he's too sad to get on with his life. Funny how he always comes back. Just fuck off and let genuine people talk to each other. WAnker!

i need help,every time i go to sleep i pray that i wont wake up the next morning.im on prozac and have been for years.how is it other people can make me feel so worthless and useless.i see death as a way out.if i die then at least i'll be outta this hell whole.my mums an alcoholic and dad is addicted to heroin.my friends dont wanna know me any more coz they think i lie about stuff that goes on in my home,they dont see the hell im living in.does any one no how i feel?talk to me please

i know exactly howu feel gary, my "friends" dont know wat im goin thru, they dont want to know, they think im always lying, about my pain but im not. im here if u wanna talk gary, ok?

i know exactly howu feel gary, my "friends" dont know wat im goin thru, they dont want to know, they think im always lying, about my pain but im not. im here if u wanna talk gary, ok? do u have MSN or yahoo messenger?

is anyone out there.talk to me please.

whats your name please

its vicky, do u have MSN?

why aint no 1 talking to me.i feel helpless i wanna die,but in a way i dont.you no what i mean

yeah i do its tripzy69@hotmail.com add me and we'll talk on there

hold on its just said i gotta download some shit

vicky are you there

yea im here

gary plz talk to me, i promise i wont make u feel worse than u are now, plz talk to me

life is o hard

i know it is, for me awell it is, and many other people on this site, so its good to talk to poeple who have gone through much pain as you have, plz come back on MSN

i know it is, for me it is, and many other people on this site, so its good to talk to poeple who have gone through much pain as you have, plz come back on MSN and talk to me...

sdfifff

ehjjkjkcbgm,TF/FGJK

has anyone heard from mike, he hasnt bin on today, im worried

I made it thru last nite but hes round agen tonight. Please help.

have u eva got the police involved, u shud becoz he shudnt be able to get away with doin that shit to u, its not rite

i feel so alone and so unwanted, i'm anorexic and i just dont want to feel all this shit anymore.

i hate you lot Fiona has died and ur being so disrespectful.

'Im lookin out of a window out onto a street
where someones killin someeone else, usual deceit
Where every loses there cherry or gets raped, beaten bruised, psyically and sexually abused.
That street is not a street but i place i often call HOME...

...How could u not have seen?
how did u miss all the pain and the crying?
Everynight i felt like dying
but u never knew
shame on you...

...u call urself a dad?
The more pain and cuts i had
i realised i dont know not a bit
i hate my life and all the shit
i got and felt from you...

...so i wish there was a button on my wall which let my jump and fall but i guess its just not that easy'

-Kristie Killah

Kristie thats good did you write that?

rape_victim y don't you tell some one?

My lifes great bitch! I got a dad u luvs me and a ma and lots of money and a cute boyf and im popular. So stop moping around.

we're not moping around. fuck off you stuick-up freak.

At least my dad loves me in the way hes meant to.
At least im still a virgin.
At least im not being fucked by my daddy.
At least i dont get beaten up.

yea u stupid, ignorant little bitch, "oh this and oh that", im gonna fuckin shoot ur kind, wipe it out

Oh just fuck off bitch.

?

U BITCH, DONT U DARE TALK LIKE ITS HER FAULT, U DONT KNOW WAT ITS LIKE, IF U HAVE SUCH A GREAT, Y ARE U FUCKIN JUDGING OTHERS , ITS BECOZ UR NOT HAPPY WITHURSELF, SO FUCK OFF

yuo dont understand. I know kristie and her sister. So i know the whole story.

then y r u sayin that bullshit, fuckin dick

Its ok, she isnt a virgin. Shes a slut. She CHOSE to be 13 wen she lost it.

and i have a nice house and a great boyf so just go buy some gucci shoes, fuck off and be happy coz ur that superficial.

laura, do u have MSN?, im here if u wanna talk, its ok

shit, shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

I H8 life.
i wanna die but i am to scared to kill myself any more.
all i can think of is my m8s and how they always found me and made me feel that bit better
i h8 life because no one ever dies a vrigin coz life screws us all.
and that is raged i h8 it
and i have no way out.

i wrote this the other day for you all to read:

'Think Of Me
When Life Screws Up
Think Of Me
When Lifes To Tough
Think Of Me
When You Are Scared
Think Of Me
When YOur Not Prepared
Think Of Me
When All You Have Goes Up In Smoke
Think Of Me
When Life Blows up'

Mike should write tv scripts in and out of hospital in a flash its not real you would not be this well. \\\\\you are having a laugh at people and just after the sympathy. you should be on the tv not on this line this is for serious people not fucks like you

?

nikki, have u heard anything from mike?

no sorry

ok:( thanx anyway

hiya is there anyone in here that wants a chat?

I just don't feel good enough in what I do. I feel such a failure and can't see the point in going on really. No matter what I try it always fails, I am fed up with keep trying and failing i've just had enough. This life has beaten me has got the better of me and I am just noy up to the mark......

Hi guys. Im really happy that i was found but im worried. Life isn't wat it used to be and im growin more and more tempted to just die. Emma, dont let me. I say i want to but i want to be stopped. Its weird.

Hello,

I know what your all feeling. I felt that through the ages of 13-18 and soon found myself like you guys. You can pull yourself out of the gutter though. I had an alchoholic mother and i never met my father. We struggled money-wise.

We nearly lost our house. It was scary. I was bullied too. But you can get through all this.

Persistance, determination and some friends helped me through those years. It seems like hell know but soon you'll feel better about life. I'm here to talk and help you all.

Karen McKenzie-Smith (Founder of the Super_support_agency.)

I'm anorexic.

So how did that happen?

KIDS AT SKOOL CALLED ME FAT.

Mimi's fatMimi's fat Mimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fatMimi's fat.

That is nasty to Mimi.

Abbi what is your problem. We broke up so you tell people fiona is dead? You really are a bitch.

Like i said before Fiona is in hospital in a coma and there is a small chance she wont wake up but she isn't dead. Grr... your such a bitch! Fiona is alive. Abbi i dumped you coz of this.

Mike is still alive worst luck. Ugly little bastard thinks I fancy him. What a sicko. Lies to people on here calls people all sorts of names then wonders why no one wants to know him. He just needs to get on and die Give us all some peace.

Abbi thats sick.

Mikes ok. He just gets angry and calls poeple stuff. He doesnt deserve to die for that.

...

So does everyone not like mike. I like him.

anyone needs to chat im here to listen!!!i wont judge you i just wanna be your friend!!so if you need to chat just ask!!it will be alright one day people i promise!!

...

hello anyone there

Wayne you sound like you have no clue in this subject, ur desperate for friends and you sound so insensitive.

IVE BEEN THOUGH MORE SHIT THAN U CAN IMAGINE U STUCK UP BITCH! BUT I GOT OVER IT AND IM TRYING TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE GET THOUGH THERE PROBLEMS

IVE BEEN THOUGH MORE SHIT THAN U CAN IMAGINE U STUCK UP BITCH! BUT I GOT OVER IT AND IM TRYING TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE GET THOUGH THERE PROBLEMS

....

is anyone there besides wayne?

WHY IS EVERY ONE NASTY TO EVERY ONE ELSE MAN!
JUST COZ YOU THINK THAT YOU PERSONS PROBLEM IS WORSE THAN SOME ONE ELSES
THIS I WHY MOST PEOPLE IN HERE KILL THEM SELFS IT BEACAUSE NO ONE IS WILLING TO ACCEPT THAT ALL THE PEOPLES PROBLEMS ARE SIMMILAR
THEY MAY NOT SEEM IT AT 1ST BUT THEY ARE
IF WE ALL JUST STOPED AND THOUGHT ABOUT IT THEN YOU WOULD NOTICE
I KNOW THAT MY PROBLEMS ARE NOT AS BAD AS SOME ONE ELSES LIKE mike OR karen BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT
YOU ALL JUST NEED TO LOOK AND LISTEN TO HOW PEPOLE ARE FEELING.....

IF ANY ONE REALLY WANTS TO TALK AND HAVE SOME ONE LISTEN THAT IS IN THE SAME SITUATION AND THAT IS NOT SELF CENTRED THEN MY E MAIL IS :
cosmic_kathryn@hotmail.com

FROM KAY

look im sorry o.k i didnt mean any dis respect its just it really iratates me to think that people dont think i mean well.ive been at rock bottom and i picked myself up im here for 1 simple reason and that is.............TO HELP SOME ONE.i seeked help and i found it.it aint always easy.but im here just for a chat even if nothin else.and im truly very sorry if i sounded in sensitive to anyone in this chat room.

...............

.........

ring me im fucked up 07812897906 please i just wanna talk

Ooooh, May I just say how offended I was by that comment by "::::" Whoever that was! Hmmmm, I dont think I will ever recover from the pain of that comment! (By the way I am being sarcastic) I think I know who it was by!!! MITCS563@AOL.COM

Sorry if it wasnt you, but you sent me a picture of yourself you gay bastard, and you are a fuckign tramp! Lying on the bed with ya top off, ya fat, ugly and completley fuckin retarded. Pedo, why dont you go n fuck some lil kids! HAHAHAHAH! Oh yeah, "HE IS GAY! HE TOLD ME"

I am really sorry if it wasnt you but your the only person I can think of who would say that!

Tara assholes!

Ooooh, May I just say how offended I was by that comment by "::::" Whoever that was! Hmmmm, I dont think I will ever recover from the pain of that comment! (By the way I am being sarcastic) I think I know who it was by!!! MITCS563@AOL.COM

Sorry if it wasnt you, but you sent me a picture of yourself you gay bastard, and you are a fuckign tramp! Lying on the bed with ya top off, ya fat, ugly and completley fuckin retarded. Pedo, why dont you go n fuck some lil kids! HAHAHAHAH! Oh yeah, "HE IS GAY! HE TOLD ME"

I am really sorry if it wasnt you but your the only person I can think of who would say that!

Tara assholes!

anyone wanna chat.im board

right i have made my mind up i h8 life all my m8s h8 me and i can not be fucked goin on in life !
my life is point less so in 1 hours and 55 mins i am goin to kill my self and no one is goin to stop me !

from kay

and if you wanna have a song to remember me by then if you can download songs then download this:
Faith Hill, 'I Cant Do This Any More'

Lol, mike. Who do you think it is?

plz kay dont do it, its gonna be so hard for ur famil for u to be gone

y
what do i have to live for

and 1 hour and 10 mins to go

Hallo,
I blew up the trade centres im depressed :( im running very quickly at 30mph i wont some ffirends like u guys. But no1 likes me bcoz i blew up ur momma and papa. :( im srry in i wos trying to get to Orlando International but i stabbed my fanny and go angry so i got my men to blow up ur momma and papa coz it wos there fault. I wouldnt of slipped and cut my fanny if it wasnt for ur momma and papa now i have a bruise there on my shin too. Will u be my friend yes u im talking to u no1 else. So buddies listen up Buster Im going to have to taake some pills if u wont to contact me ring me on 01293 267344 Give me a buzz bfore my pill hurts my winkle and it shrinks. :( Ill be on telly soon ill post a picture of me runnng very fast down the m3 wiv my tricicle on my bakpak *by the way its a gola one from my favourite shop oxfam* My granny works there i get 1% discounts and i bought flight simulator 1994 to plan my attacks it has great graphics i played it on my sega saturn 64 bit 1973 edition i also got sonic the hedgehog greatest hits and fifa 1966 I hope u can come round my house 1 day and we can play :) maybe trainsets if my momma lets me give me a buzz or write me a letter too 23 farrier street tw. rt45ty7 hope to be hearing from u soon if im not injured form my knife incident or if i havent taken my mommas pills ill still be here catch u lata aligator ur good friend osoma

Kay, you can't. Just think everything though.
What about you family, friends, pets, people you know? Try and focus on stuff ya like and stuff you really enjoy.

By the way cool song choice.

I don't mean to sound patronising.

mum and dad h8 me
friends h8 me
and i lead a point less life so what is the point

Hello Bernard here. Just want to say i'am very depressed with my life and i have a small willy. I think that because i do. I hate life and i hate my willy please help me. Kay you r cool. :) Love from Bernard.

i have now got 3 hours to go
( i added more time )

Bin laden this site is no joke. If your someone in trouble but trying to keep anon im sorry but to me it sounds like your taking the piss and that is not funny.

talk to vicky she can tell you it all

Lol bernard. Well i suggest you talk about thew depression but i dunno wat to say bout the willy.

Kay seriously think things through.

LaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLLaLaLaLaLAaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLALaLaLaLaLLaLaLaLaLAA

no-ones talking agen...

yeah coz no one is alive any more

kay plz come back on MSN and talk to me, at least do that for me, if ur still gonna do it

Hey wot is the point in all this right yes i no i can be a bitch and im sorry for tht but y kill ur self just think of all the good times me u and monki have together and now ur welling to just throw all them away and die. ppl do love u and ppl do care about u so plz dont do stupid and go and kill ur self. Look at me when i found out i was going to die look at how tht affected ppl when i finally told look at how much it upset u,simon,tom,grant,megan,josh and monki. yes we can be bitch to u but we love having u has a mate so plz plz plz dont kill ur self

and tht is to kay by the way

faith then y be a bitch to her in the first place, friends dont do that

Hiya, so anyone wanna chat??

hey anyone else lonely?

hey peeps

Dont shout at her thats my job
faithi is sowwy about killing myslef but i cant handel all the pain i left UV yesterday because for the 1sttime my life shot into prospective and i new y i am upset
the reson i is upset is because every one h8s me (that is how it seems) and that no one notices me
like yesterday blades m8 only noticed me because i looked like a guy with my hud up and that really got to me

from kay

hi, never been on this place before... no one actually knows i am suicidal... they will take me to a fucking shrink if they did know. actually one person knows but they dnt believe me. they say i am just "attention seeking" thats the problem in life, you cant tell when people are attention seeking if you dnt know wot goes on behind closed doors. everyone thought my friends shivy was attention seeking, but none of them know that her mother and father beat her everynight. i am not suppose to know about it, so i cant help her directly. but i need to do something. i wrote a poem for her. but someone stole my privet book i had, that i worte every thought of pain in. so now some stranger or maybe even one of my friends know wot i am feeling. scares me.

I HATE LIFE

What is the point in going all suicidal! come and find me and i will give you the right fuckin stuff cos there are people and children out there who cant choose wether they are going to die or live so stop trying to rush life and take it one step at a time!!!!

Hey
my names Karl and ive been feelin these feelings of pain for a couple of years now. i tried 2 kill myself by hanging but that failed. i supose im happy that it failed because if it did, i wouldnt have the great life i have now. i have a great girlfreind that is realy helpfull, but it always comes back werever i go. but the only problem is, i dnt no what it is that makes me feel like this. ive cut myself so much in the past, but now i dont feel the need 2. my parents found out earlier on on the year, and they sent me 2 a shrink, which kind of helped. but once it finished the pain came back. it like follows me wherever i go. if you lisen 2 the lyrics on good charlottes 'hold on', thats how i feel. constant pain goes thru my body. i just cant help it. please could somebody send me advice. please could somebody help me, before i do something stupid. my email adress is guitarist_on_fire@hotmail.com. thanks

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

I have shrink. Hes a buttcrack with no life.

hello ppl how are u all 2day? :-(

Pretty crap actually.

?

i feel like shit it dint even work
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

hey kay i no it feels like tht but ppl do like u some time thy dont no how to say it and thy act like thy dont care but really thy do

i am sry for what i said i was just really really up set and it was the main thing that got to me!

i no wot u mean kay coz look it me have like wot dead twice and every time i have cum bk and my life is fuck.

yeah but you dont have people talkin about you and taking the piss all the time because every one likes you and as far as they are concerned their is nothing worng with you
your perfect and i would love to be you!

r u sure on tht one? coz even id love to get out of my body

r u sure on tht one? coz even id love to get out of my body

i would love to be you
well do you want to swap places for a week and see how it goes????

Well ive been in courts for the last 3days straight coz my dad is pleading 'Not Guilty' even though we have evidence to prove he's lying. Its really stressful.

hi. i'm back. been away for the weekend, stayed with my sister tried to sort my head out, no such luck though. i hated thetrain ride home, i knew that as soon as i got back the shit would hit me again, and i was right. so many bad memories at home. i hate my life. i hate me.

Hi all,

Just to let every one know i am back around if any oneneeds to chat same as before I will not judge you I will listen and be a friend to you

my m s n is here4u55@hotmail.com

add me

sean

Hi ppl

Although i have never been suicidal i have battled with depression for nearly 5 years now. I want to help any1 who wants my help. I won't judge you or tell you what to do I will just listen to whatever you have to say so if you want to chat contact me at
stenhoose11@yahoo.co.uk
I hope to hear from some of you soon

hey all e-mail me if you want.

w98229@dundee.biblio.net

ok, i duno what's happened to Mike and i'm worried. so if anyone knows anything or mike if you read this either text me on 07729555398 or e-mail me - ninasmith555@hotmail.com.
please!

Well thankyou MIke for all that lovely insults. It wasn't me that wrote stuff about you but it don't really matter. I beleive you said you were gay too. Its not a crime Mike if you wake up and realise that. Yeah im old so what. I might be ugly big deal and as for being a pedo look it up in the dictionary. Im gay not Pedo. I can agree with the sentiments of :::: because they obviously realise what a twat you are too.

i wish ppl would stop having a go at each other! i didn't think that was the point of this site. so your angry upset, hurting and all the rest, but so is everyone (or alomst everyone) else on this site.

Steve, thanks for that!

Steve, is it true you are into incest? You told me on MSN The other day! Remember!

Dont deny it! You know you said it, now your ashamed aint you! You really pissed me off mate!

Steve, by the way, you know you sent me your picture, No wonder nobody wants to talk to you! I thought you were alright to talk to before you got all pervey!

i fukin hate life, so fuckin alone, anyone have any good suicidal methods?, that wont fail ?

C'MON, PLZZZZZZZ, IM DESPERATE

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GONNA DO IT, C U ALL IN HELL

hey

hey

hey

im bord

dum de dum dum dum

bi bi

Hey nikki, u there..... im back after being away for like 4 days..... bin in a shrink house....... trying to find out ma problems nosy tits..... how are you???? sopeak 2 me on da other chat l8a if ur on ...buhbye love xXXXXXXXXXXXx

My counsellers told me i suffer from SMD serious mental depression. He said that anti-depressants wouldn't help me. Well thats Shit! Then me and my friends did this plam reading thingy and the woman said im interested in DEATH! Bloody 'ell i already knew that!

I think its sick that Abbi would lie and make-up that fiona is dead because she was dumped by Kyle. Fiona is in a coma though. Eurgh! Liars annoy me.

If any of u cared i wrote on here before, i took an over dose on the computer, i wrote above everything i was going to do, this was 26th november, if you read above it has everything i did, and i did take an over dose, then i started to frak, i called my boyfriend, told him what happend, i passed out, hit the floor and the next thing i knew i was in a hospitol bed, my boyfriend saved me because i was an idiot! don't try and kill yourself, its not worth it, since that has happend to me i have changed so much. the doctors said i would had been dead in a matter of hours but thanks to my boyfriend Dan i am still alive to say i love my life and give you people the advise of some one who tried to do something stupid! i am so happy to be alive, dont do it!

i fucking hate life! today was so hard. i had a half day at college. I.T. it was so dull. i got an e-mail from my sister which was really hard to read. she was telling me how much i hurt her. i can't make anyone happy. i need to not be here. i need to not be alive!

In case you wondered im going to die. Ive planned it perfectly. Im going to jump in front of a train. It sounds silly but it proves successful. The sentimental touch is my sis used to catch that train everyday. tomorrow.

Michelle. this is not good emma is away. she'll come back and find you dead. Humph. I think when you see that trainy you'll stop and think properly.

Cryin yes my eyes are sore.
Can't remember that last time i smiled.
And every little bit of hope.
seems lost making me all alone.
what happens if i smile?.
Will my problems begone.
Atleast for a while.
But alas a no.
My pain its still on show.

FRIDAY!

Friday what? If you mean your going to kill yourself on friday hmm...

Is there anyone who is serious here? you all play games at this recover like a cartoon character. You would get a shock if someone realy did die. YOU ARE CHILDREN PLAYING KIDDY GAMES.

your all lyers, get a life!!!

im not just some kid playing games. have i once sed 'im going to kill myself now' nope. And you cant judge Mr.Anon

Jim shut up.
a) you dont know what your talking about.
b) Your just rude and disrespectful
c) You posted just to say "Your liars"? how sad.

Mike if you read this, i meant what i said. If u go i go. 4 more hours to go

Grr. I hate liars too but its so hard to be sure. So i jjust do what i think is right whether its a liar or not.

why did you leave me all alone?
what were you trying to say by saying nothing?
if you could, would you come back?
no!
didn't think so.
am i better off without you?
am i treated fairly because of you?
is life worth living knowing your out there somewhere?
no!
didn't think so.

hey im sure ppl in this fucking world want me dead so im going to do it im going to take im only life l8t on tonight and if kay comes on line can some one plz tell her tht faith is sorry for everything tht seh has done to upset her and tell her tht she can have squidge coz ive finished wiv him.
Think of me when the kife runs deep
Think of me when the bleed runs red
Think of me when ur brain go dead
Think of me when ur laying in a hospital bed
Think of me when ur all ready dead
luv faith

hey is anyone on there??

i take that as a no! just incase any of you lot care ive just hit rock bottom. im off 2 go and cut my self. goodbye

I would like to apologise to everyone who comes here with a genuine problem that you have to listen to Mike. If he thinks his childish little games are gonna wind me up he is very wrong. I don't care what he says about me. I know it's all crap. Hurry up and Die Mike. You sad pathetic little man.

Well that's a little harsh.

anyone wanna chat?

You people are so nasty! all you are doing is thinking about your self and are willing to give your life when people have no choice and are dieing, i want you all to know i hate you! i had a close family friend die from cancer so go fuck your self's cuz why should i care about you when none of you think about others!!!!

hey! im not feelin 2 gr8 2day eny1 wana tlk??

:'(

I think some people sound so unbelievebly fake you get people on here saying "Your liars". 1 out of every 53 people who say they are gonna kill themselve soon or over the internet actually try it. I know if i was gonna i wouldn't tell the wholeworld.

Its sad to say but alot of people on here have perfectly normal lives try and come on here and PRETEND to have something wrong. 3 out of every 18 people on sites like this are serious. Thats low/

hey karl, wats up?

kristie, your statistics is a load of bullshit, how can you prove that people who say they're gonna kill themselves actually wont, you dont know that at all.Ok they're might be some fakers here,but you've jus probably insulted everyone in this room who are actually not faking, how do we know that you're not

how do we know that you're not for real***

Im not saying anyone isnt "For Real" and im NOT insulting everyone. But i'll insult you. Think first. My statistics are correct but im not saying it applys to this site. I neve said "2 out of 18 on this site..." i sed on sites similar. Just stating a fact to show how many fakers you can POSSIBLY get on a site like this. Daniel dont just shoot your mouth off. What i'm saying is true im trying to wisen people to realise how many people out there would lie.

And you said i insulted everyone? Well you insulted me by even suggesting i made my life up? Do you think im really that sick as to make up a crap life for myself. No offence but i wouldn't be on a site that deals with this subject if i wasn't telling the truth.

would people just stop arguig, you can never be 100% certain whos telling the truth and who isn't, just follow what you believe to be true, you can hurt a lot of people by saying people are lying and whatever. just make your own mind up and don't broadcast it, you never know who you might hurt or insult. sorry don't mean to be a bitch.

iv been self harmin for as long as i can remember and everyone is always beggin me 2 stop non of my friends seem 2 understand why i do this and why it helps. All i want is for someone to understand, all i want is someone 2 talk 2 about how i actually feel.

wow some1 actuly tlks 2 me!! im just a little down at the mo. wel, down is an understatement i suppose!!

Molly i kno exactly how u feel. I cut myself too and it does help a lot. Tho...evry1 i kno dusnbt understand it either!!!
owell if u wana talk just lemme kno.

has any one hurd from Faith?????

............?

No i havnt heard from faith.

I HATE MY FATHER.
I HATE MY FATHER.
I HATE MY FATHER.
I HATE MY FATHER.
I HATE MY FATHER.

I wrote him a letter telling him how he made me feel and showed him the stories and poems i made. He cryed and i laughed. Heartless i know, but it made me feel better.

I laughed lol
I laughed lol
I laughed lol
first time in ages!!

Iv gone abit LoOpY!!!

LoL cRaZy KrIsTiE!!!

I dOnT fEeL tOo GoOd!

anyone out ThErE?!

My BrOtHeR sAyS i SpEnT aLoT oF tImE iN mY rOoM bEiNg QuIeT wItH aLoT oF aLcOhOl!

LaLaLa DrUnK kRiStIe. DiZZy KrIsTie!

Passing out kristtiiireeeee!

go on kristie i wish i was you

no, you really dont! I was passing out when i wrote that!

You wanna pass out?

i was drunk-ness and now im hungove :S

nobodys answerin again!
Im a billy!

Killin me is all i see
Rest me down yea on the ground
I see nothin more than you behind steel doors
Sometimes I want to die but in the end i only cry
Treating me like a slave
It's so unfair the pain you gave
Everytime tear rolls down my cheeks, i think of YOU

Why
Did
You
Think
You
Could
Get
Away
With
It?

why does no-one answer?

i feel like crap so im gonna go buy some drink.

fuck ur mum all of ur asses

DILBERT, PLZ GO AND LOOK AT UR SELF IN THE MIRROR

is any1 sensible there 2 tlk 2??

plz?

ok well i'm just gona write my feelings down....i want to scream. i need to let my anger out. i feel so....worthless. i feel i cant trust any1. i cant trust any1 i love or have eva loved. they have all betrayed me...even my parents.
i h8 my life as i know lots pf ppl do...so obviously i'm nothin new! sometimes i want 2 die...i really do...but my mum wud notice tablets gone and it prob wudnt work so...i'd just have 2 live thru more shit.

i feel my dad hates me. my frends tend to act really nasty 2 me and they dont understand. i feel hated by evry1....

fuck...dusnt any1 eva come on here!!!

hey k, i know exactly wat ur goin thru, i feel as tho i can trust anyone becoz they're fuckin backstabbers, if u get wat i mean, so u can talk to me anytime if u want, do u have MSN or Yahoo? we can talk more

hey nichola, soz i wasnt on last nite. decided 2 go since no1 was here. yeh i've got msn its prittykitty03@hotmail.com. wud b kool 2 chat 2 u on there sum time.

hey nichola, soz i wasnt on last nite. decided 2 go since no1 was here. yeh i've got msn its prittykitty03@hotmail.com. wud b kool 2 chat 2 u on there sum time.

hiya ppl i ain't been on here in ages how is ppl?

I was told by my counsellor im getting worse depression and suicide wise. yay..?!

trie to kill myself friday night, took over 50 pills, duno what they were and drank shit loads of beer. obviously it didn't work. i went to sleep about 2 saturday morning, woke up at 4 and was sick, didn't stop being sick to late saturday afternoon. i now feel like shit, physically and mentally. it feels like i can't do anything right, i can't even kill myself. it's a fucked up world we live in!

Oh yes. Last night i had some sort of fit. Ijust was staring and suddenyl started shaking and crying. I couldn't hear or move(except shake duh!) and i went all tense. It was something to do with me being under alot of pressure and stress and im constantly emotional so my body went into a blank state or something and it made me be sick :-( and i feel like crap today. It was horrible. My counsellor said it was down to increasing depression, tension, stress, insomnia, emotion, pressure and feeling really down and upset. My body sort of just stopped being so like that for 10mins and i completely went blank and had this fit thing. Anone else had one before?

Kristie you are so full of shit. Sad little wanker with no brain. Go kill yourself slut and take Mike with you. Fuckin sad bunch of attention seeking twats

Knob off. Seriously attention-seeking. I was just telling some friends on here what happened to me because they asked and i said i would post it instead of explaining over and over again. Plus i was not attention-seeking at the end i said "Anyone else...?" because i wanted to make sure i wasn't alone and also warn people. Grr... you can't even show your name thats how much off a retard you are.

I was really worried about posting this for exactly that reason. This is the last time i'm going to open up properly. This site is not for you to judge me. I wasn't going to but i wanted to let people know. I show a little bit of my life and im told "Go kill yourself slut..." Well thankyou very much im already planning how to die i dont need you teeling me to. So just go away.

kristie the fits tend to occur under stress we just did the fit thing in biology my uncle used to suffer from them!

hmm

oh

who r u

who r u

who r u

hi tess

look...ppl who r judging othas shudnt b on this site! i mean, yeh we dont kno whos telling the truth and who isnt but its a chance weve got 2 take! ppl come on this site 2 tlk abt how they feel...not 2 b judged by ppl who dont even kno them!

seriously....these r otha ppls lives were dealing with...its not sum game!!

thankyou k and nikki. At least i can confide in some people on here.

Hi im new.

Im being bullied and i self harm and i have problems at home.

if i could just curl up and fade away i would, but nothing is ever that easy. it's too hard to live and too hard to die....so basically i'm fucked!

Hello Alexi. I'll Listen.

(Michelle you there? Emma text me on friday did she text you?)

Yep. She said she wishes she was there to help me. Bless her.

I feel all crappy...

I sit and think
i miss you
how can i stay alive
i wish you...were here!

hmm. Shes a good friend to you mich!

qwweerrttyyuuiiooppaassddffgghhjjkkllzzxxccvvbbnnm

kristie
you know you say that you h8 your dad
but does / has your dad beated the shit out of you every night since you can last rem. did he every rape you, did he every throw you against a wall you dint know who you where?

coz that is my dad to a 'T'

i want someone to fuck me then kill me with rope around my neck

if i died tomorrow would anyone care?
i know i wouldn't.
i know he wouldn't.
i bet he doesn't even know i'm still alive.
he probably doesn't even care.

i wish i could just die tomorrow!

hi, i have a new e-mail address, if anyone want to talk to me, feel free to e-mail or add me to msn.

want_2die@hotmail.com.

take care.x

does anyone know any other suicide chat roomm addresse's?

nope, sorry. have u tried looking through google, may take a while, but might be worth a shot right?

ha ha ha ha hah haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa hah hah ha ha what a bunch of muppets how hard can it be to kill yourself for fuck sake

i tell you what ill put u on the steb lest, youll b deed 2morrow

aldo beats his boy

hey nina wanna see billys wille before you die?

listen everone PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF without me there ha ha ha ha ha ah haaaaaaaaaaaa

ive been checking up on this site for a while now, Billy if you haven't got nothing importent to say, how about you piss off cuz we think the same about you and I am sick of the shit that comes out of your mouth, There are so many arguments here cuz everybody thinks ther elife is the worst, if we al take the time to hear everyone out then I think this site would be much better, Also if we didnt have childish people like Billy

no wait i think billy a great guy! i ve had a bad day as im on my period,its hell,so bad you just shout I WONT DO DIE but im fine now. sorry billy

woops i spelt my name wrong it L I T Z I litzi

er billy in particular...if ur not gona b serious on this chat room then just leave coz ur wasting evry1s time! and 2 anyone else who wants 2 b immature stupid and wants 2 judge ppl wen they dont have the rite to.....leave now. ur really not worth listening to.

Well it's Christmas folks "Woohoo" & whats good ol'Santa bringing you's this year? What will you find in your stocking.... What about a Razor Blade "YEAH" a nice sharp cut-throat that will get your juices dripping right off your wrists or MAYBE a stocking filled with your favourite treats "a box of 500mg parecetemol" to swollow with that bottle of whiskey you left out for father Christmas himself... Sounds pathetic dosen't it, just like most "NOT ALL" of the post's ive been reading on hear! If your going to kill yourself "trust me" you would have done it by now "No if's nor but's". Either you got a concience or something to really live for or you've really just got no bollox!!! Theres nobody in the whole world who haven't got problems and sometimes wished they wern't here but as hard as it may seem at the time ya gotta pick yourself up and keep going "These things are sent to test us". I believe theres always somebody out there worse off and what ever our background or how under priveliged we are theres a reason were here, so pick yourselfs up "Think of number 1" and all the best for the New-Year. Craig X

craig...i think ur rite in a sense. But ppl who are actually clinically depressed cant just click there fingers and carry on. its an illness.

look Billy if it turns you on by going on my name then feel free. but i can spell my name and i know its you because i have been in your computer, Oh didn't you know? I'm a hacker, i can crack into sites, i have over 500 programs stored into my harddrive, i can send up to 7000 viruses (thats enough to fuck your shity computer up) so billy dont fuck with me mate and if your going to pretend your me please do it abit better as i have came off my period last week, nice try

no i wouldn't like to see billy's will b4 i die thank you very much you complete wanker. get a life and leave us alone! do you have any feelings about other ppl?

Billy the willy is such a fucking wanker who is so angry but can't express himself and should fuck off to his la la land.

Billy you look like a donkey bent backwards, so please do yourself and us a favor and fuck yourself, or even better kill yourself so some one with more brains can take your place, STOP HOGGING SPACE YOU BATTY BOY

Hi first time i herd of this chat room.
I'm a very depressed person at the moment.
Need Someone to talk to at the moment.

Kay i want you to know i said in my first post that yes my dad does (did now he's been arrested) rape me often, beat me, has put me in hospital 3imes and has threatened to kill me many times.

That's why i hate my dad.

So kay yes to all those questions.

Mike what's going on with the picture of the man in manic street preachers.

that is bein totally disrespectful to the member
and its totally unfair and disrespectful to self-harmers. It looks like he's making a joke out of something thats serious for people including me.

It offended me.

Hi kristie
i don't now what your though with that, but i went though some thing else.
my sister died and my dad left us and now wants to see us now.

Hi people, I just want to introduce myself as I'm new to this place.
Im Gemma, aged 17, I live in the UK (England) and I know my problems don't match up to those on here but I just want to let them out, Also I'm not planning on killing myself (At the moment).
Well if anyone is intrested (I mean I don't want to waste anyone's time) I would like to start with when I was 6 years old and my older brother Mike (who was 16) when he hung himself in his room. It was a Thursday afternoon when I just came home and I went upstairs.
I knocked on Mike's door to borrow a CD and he told me to go away which any older brother would say to his younger sister.
So I went into my room, then 15 minutes later was when I heard my Mum screaming.
So I ran out my room thinking she has stupidly drop something but then as I reached my brother's room, I just saw him there, hanging from his leather belt with a bottle of Whisky which had been droped on the floor.
All I remember is my whole body freezing, I couldn't move, talk, think, I just stood there in shock, then my dad came upstairs took me to my room as mum called 999.
I didn't know what to do, everything just flashed before my eyes, my own brother had just killed him self.
Well we all knew it was to late for him and when the aid arried and said there was nothing they could do as it was much to late.
That night I cried and cried, I didnt sleep one wink, I didnt talk to anyone and none of my friends at school knew at that time, the next morning was horrible. I didn't know what to say or do, as I slowly went the stairs my mum was sat in a chair with tears still rolling down her check, dad was reading the paper (even though at the time it looked like he didn't care but dad had a tend of hideing things).
First thing I said was "what now?"
They both turned there heads and just starred at me. mum then handed me a note, I opened it and straight away I knew it was from my brother before he did what he did. it said "Dear Dad, Mum and Gem
I need you to know why I have done this, I have wanted to die for a long time but know one has taken the time to even care about how I feel. I am finding 6th form at school hard, My friends have betrayed me and I just couldn't see the point in living no more. Mum and Dad you have done everything you could for me but I wasn't enough, I didn't feal loved my either of you and Dad has never suported me in anything I have taken intrested in. As for Gemma Your the best little sis I could ask for and I'm sorry to this to you as you was always kind and loveing towards me." It said alot more but I must move on.
well after that it was hard on everyone. Mum and Dad started argueing alot, It was Like everynight, and when I would be trying to sleep I would only hear them aruging! One night I heard the door slam.
I knew straight away something bad had happend again so I went into my mum's room and saw her in tears on her bed, I sat next to her and put my arm round her. My mum and dad had just broke up and dad had got a few things and left to go stay with a woman he had been cheating on with my mum.
then I hit sweet 13 when I started my new school, from day one I knew I was going to hate it there.
As I walked through the school gates I saw girls my aged smoking ciggerettes, and as I walked past them they shouted "ugly slag" which was hurtful as it was my first day, wanting to make new friends and these girls did not even know me.
Worst thing was they was in my class, They came up to me and said "gives us a fag" I didn't smoke and said "I haven't got any, I dont smoke" then one of them (her name was Katie) put her hand round my neck and push me against the wall and said "if you havent got any, you better buy me some" all i had was dinner money so I gave them that and said "I can't buy them, I dont look old enough" so Katie took the money and walked off.
This is all on my first day at school.
Well everyday I was bullied by Katie and her friends, and every day I had to give them my dinner money and every day I came home from school I went upstairs and cried till my eyes were sore.
Thats when I kept saying I was ill when I wasn't, then my mum forced me to go to school so I skived round town and sometimes in a park. When the school phoned my mum she went mad at me, and I don't know why I did it but I lost control and kicked her, she went down to the floor and I kept kicking her in the stomach. I ran upstairs, moved the bed infront of my door and cried. I thought why the fuck would I do this to my own mum! I was so mad at myself and I saw a a knife and fork from my meal I had the night before, I grab the knife and cut my legs and the top of my arms. It felt so good, It let all my pain I had kept inside all out.
The morning after I just didn't care, I walked downstairs and stright out the door.
went to the park when the police walked through, I started to walk another way when I saw out of the corner of my eye there were running my way, I ran and ran when I got to some house and jumped into there garden, I didn't stop to think who might had lived there but I hid in a bush. 10 minutes later I got out and walked towards the fence when I heard a male voice say "what the fuck do you think you are doing, I just had the pigs at my door cause of you" I turned round and said sorry, it was a teenage boy, he looked 16 and he said "come in quick before they come back" I just starred at him and didn't move.
"come on I don't fucking bite or nothing" he said, so I walked towards him and walked through the door. He told me to sit on his sofa, he sat down infront of my and gave me a galss of cola. he asked me simple questions like what was my name, why was the police after me e.c.t.
after a few hours we got to know eachother and he seemed really nice, his name was Jason, he was 17 blah blah blah.
I told him everything that had happend and he was very understanding. He then walked me home like a gentleman and told me everything will be okay if I just say sorry and tell my mum what I had told him and he said I could drop by whenever.
Talking to mum was so hard, I didnt know what to say or do, but she made it really easy when she opened the door and held me in her arms. we sat down and had a good talk, I did what Jason had told me to do and told my mum everything, she phoned the school and booked apointment to see the headteacher about the girls, Monday morning I walked to school and the girls were not in my class, I was so happy, I thought everything would be ok but it wasn't.
What had happend is the girls had been sent home and had to stay home for 2 weeks. well did they listen? No they didn't they wanted to make matters worse. At the end of school I was walking towards the gate when I saw Kate, I was so scared but I kept walking, thinking they was meeting someone from school. but as I got closer I could tell in her eyes she was waiting for me. Kate said to me "us lot ave gotta stay home for 2 weeks! I am grounded for a fucking month!"
I didn't want to say anything so I just stood there, my heart stopped but then there was Jason walking towards me with about 7 people.
As I starred at Jason I was suprised when Kate grab my hair and took me to the floor and started kicking me in the face. All I heard was "OI" and then kate stoped, I looked up and Jason's friends that were girls started on Kate and her friends. Jason helped me up and I saw one of Jason's Friends punch kate in the face and she fell to the floor, thats when the teachers came and Jason grabed my hand and said "run".
So 8 of us ran as fast as we could and after a long time of running Jason introduced me to his mates, there was 3 boys and 4 girls and Jason, the 4 girls were called Emma, Shanon, Lisa and the one who punched Kate was called Natasha.
and the 3 other boys were called Ben, Daneil and Josh. they were so nice and we all went into Jason's and Jason looked abit different, his eyes looked tierd and bloodshot. infacted they all looked like it, thats when I saw Jason rolling a splif. he then lit it and passed it to me, he told me it would make me feel better, so i took a toke of it and started to choke, there all laughed and we passed it around and I felt relaxed and felt really happy for once.
time flew and we all had a alugh but it was almost 10 o'clock. everyone was leaving but I just wanted to stay with Jason and "chill"
all of a sudden when everyone had left Jason started to rub my leg, I was to stoned at the time to even care and he then started to kiss me, he was my first kiss, then he picked me up and took me upstairs, when he started to undress me slowly. well we then had sex which was so painful but we did use a condom. next morning I woke up in so much pain and saw blood on the covers. I quickly grabed my stuff while Jason was alsleep and walked home. Mum went mad but I said I was sorry and that I should had rung. I told her I was at friend house's studying and when I relised the time it was too late to walk home on my own and that my mate didnt have a home phone.
I went upstairs and said I didn't feel well so I had another day off school.
then Jason knocked at my door, I was so scared so I walked downstairs and I opened the door and he said "what the fuck did i do! why did you leave" I told him to keep the noise down as mum was in the next room and he said "what did i do!" i said that my mum was worried e.c.t and Jason understood and after are little chat he walked home.
the next day i went to suprise him and go round his house.
I walked through the back and quietly walke dupstairs towards his bedroom when I looked he had his arm round one of his so call mates (Lisa) and they were naked.
I wanted to bursted into tears but I blurted out "what is going on"
Jason jumped up and told me it was nothing and made some sad exscuse but I knew what had happend so I ran home. My first kiss, my first time in bed had just slept with some one else.
2 weeks went by and I got depressed again, I wanted to hang myself like my brother, but Me and mum talked and I told her everything and where closer than ever. I missed my brother, Mum missed Dad and Jason who I was in love with was with another girl! good thing is the girls at school did not bully me again.
Jason kept calling round but i told him to goaway and shut the door on him, he got the picture in the end.

But now, years later I have made lots of new friends who understand How I feel, Ive met a nice guy who is my age that don't do drugs or sleep around called Alex but where not going out yet (fingers cross) mum has got a new boyfriend, haven't spoken to dad since he left us and ive got a nice little job going for me too. My life has turned around and if I had killed myself I would had missed everything that is going good for me in my life.
So when the going gets tough just keep going b'coz you have no idea what will happen in the furture, and for those who really need help, you must see some one and talk things through.

Thank you for taken the time to read my story, hope I didnt send you to sleep. If anyone wants to talk then ive been through hell and back so I know what its like.

hey gemma, it's really nice you've told us wat you went thru and nice that you opened up to us, it helps alot , thanx.

hi gemma, i read your story, it's really touching, no one should go through this shit. it's good u shared it with others kinda in the same boat if u know what i mean.

Hi Gemma
i sort of no wot you are goin through with your brother, b'cuz of my sister who was born six,seven years ago. she died at the age of 16 mouths old. she was born with a very bad hart disease weach killed her. and mom dad left my mom for a nuther woman and for four years my dad never seen us but now he whats to see us now my that my mom in hospital, But with this jason is anuther story for another time.

hi gem
can't talk agen to night goin to bed
come on tomorrow night we will talk if you want to its your choose.
i'll be on about 8
p.s. please call me johno

hi
i think that it is sweat that u told us that bcuz u didn't have to it is also my first time on this chat room but that doesn't mater though.

Yeah i'm glad my story of my sad up bringing has maybe made you think twice about killing yourself, i thought my life would never get better but i'm moving on and happy as ever, thank you for the kind comments :)

But great news, its coming up to christmas and me and my mum love spending christams together.
Who doesn't love christmas?

Hi there.

I am J from London and I am glad I have discovered this website.

I am a professional 30 year old male who had been in a relationship for the past 7 years with someone who as recent as 8 months had wanted to marry me and have children. (She was, and still is the love of my life.) She did this Tony Robbins stuff and changed for the worse.

A couple months later, I discovered my mum was terminaly ill. Mum suffered a lot and my only wish was for her suffering to end.

It seems that you guys have a better understanding of the living hell I am going through. I am suidical and consider this as a relief from the pain my beloved girlfriend is putting me through. To me, suicide seems to be more humane compared to the mental torture I am going through. (After all, I do deserve the best.)

Thanks for listening.

Ps. Sorry if this does not make sense, I guess this is the first time I have articulated how I am feeling on screen.

yes ur story was fantastic and i have lernt my lesson, please don't kill your self UNLESS I'M THERE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hi Billy.

What was your lesson if you don't mind me asking?

Ignore Billy hes the imurture one of the group, he comes on this chat to make rude and nasty remarks to those who have problems which he has no idea about.
So just ignore that fucking knob he aint worth a breath!

he also likes to come on as other people so just beware

lifes fucking a bitch and i h8 it my ex ( that i still love) has a new girl friend and i cant live another day with out him so i i think that the best thing for me would for me to just end my life and i know it sound pothetic but i love him and i have tryed goin out with other guys but its no the same and i cant get him out of my mind and that just makes me feel even worse
from Kay

hi j
i read ur story and i thought that u was brave for writin the story on screen if u never done it before.

oh my god, Kay ive been there, my friend is there where you are right now and it hurts i know, i was with my ex for almost a year, we was my first love, he was my first in everything, I went through hell cuz i missed him so much, i never went out with my mates i justed stayed at home, then later i started to meet up with an old mate who i was close with and then one day i wa sover him, trust me you will just get over him just like that, i didnt belive it was so simple but it is, so dont do something stupid over a guy who dont deserve u if he can make u feel so low, u need to find another guy and just move on, i did

From Dec 2nd, i just wanted to know if the people that day are stilla round? i miss Mike :(

YO PPL WUSUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP

YO LITZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YO LITZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YO LITZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YO JO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YO HO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF NO 1 MESSAGES ME IM GNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

litzi mike is still alive

Hi everyone. I'm seriously fucked up. My life is a mess and I can't seem to do anything right anymore. My parents always have a go at me all my close family is dead and my little sis well enough said. This is the only time I'm allowed on the net. I haven't got friends andI've forgotton what its like to have them. This one girl I met on the internet called me a good friend then tonight she just said she was pissed off with me and I don't know why! Its so unfair. I wish I was dead. I just am too scared I think.

Kate

kate u shud know y im pissed off with u

u havent explained about wat ur sis said to me, havent explained urself

Hello Evet one

po

hi, i killed myself last week,it not what its cracked up to be. that billy dude cool

Hello evey one

how is ever one

im happy,very very happy, i love live

dont take the piss

why you happy
can u make me happy aswell

because at the moment i am very depressed

Thanks for listening Jonathan, Litzi and the others.

Hey Kay. I know what you are going through and it does hurt. Some people just dont think about the implications of their actions. Or rather, they lack insight or are pure selfish.

A special note to our uneducated voyeur Mr Billy No Mates. You're a god damn cock sucker! Go fu*k yourself.

hiya ppl i ain't b onn here for ages but how is ppl and has any1 heard from mike

Hi Nikki,

I am ok. Sorry, but I dont know about Mike.

hi j
its ok how r u 8y way

Thanx for understanding

ppl, mike is still alive!

hi grim reeper

Is anyone there im going to die

im gonna die im gonna die im gonna die im not here

Hi Jonathan

I feel the same but resassured that there is a forum I can use to vent. How are you doing?

have ppl heard about wot mike had done?

have ppl heard about wot mike had done?

? :-(

look i want to speak to mike! so pissing about and tell me what has happend, sorry to be so hard on ya but i want to no he is ok and safe

some ppl have nikki, and litzi mike is safe and ok, he's well

where is he then? y aint he coming on here no more and how do u no!

ask nikki y,i talk to him also and you dont have to get rude

read up there on wat pic he sent sum 1 and he is ok cus he was on msn yesterday!

ok litzi? read wot Kristie sed it is tru

:-( sorry

im not being rude, im just worried im aloud to be worried!
wots his name on msn cuz i will add him, i just wanna make sure hes fine

hey litzi do u remember me?, can we talk on yahoo plz, i need to talk

hi J
im still very depressed>
i fell a bit better because i seen my girk friend
today

if any1 wants to talk my msn is lil_nikki66652@hotmail.com so just add me

plz if ppl wnna tlk just add me lil_nikki66652@hotmail.com

THINK OF ME!

Think of me when your sat there
Think of me when the knife runs deep
Think of me when the blood runs red
Think of me when the blood goes cold
Think of me when ur all alone
Think of me when your laying in a hospital bed
Think of me when your DEAD!

Hind your face in your hands
The pain doesn’t go away but it starts to understand
It’s now become your friend

Walk on by
Ask your self
How high can I fly?
How low can I fall?
How far do I wanna go?

Your friends ask you
Would you fight? Or Would you scream?
Tell yourself the answers are never in a dream!
Is that how much you like me?
Is that how much you love me?
You wanna see me under the floor!
6 feet under 6 feet down 6 feet between the ground

Would you lock me in a box and throw away the key?
Understand I never meant to hurt you
Understand I still hate you
Wake me up and make the pain go away
by Faith

To Myself Enclosed
As I sit and stare
At these blank, brick walls
Unforgiving in their silence
Unknowing in their pain
They make me realise
The emptiness of the room
They create around me
Makes me come to think
That the solid, empty room
So cold and bare
Is that of one
I created myself
Blocking out everyone
Enclosing myself in
Trapped inside myself
Away from those who care
Ive pushed them all away
When I let my guard down
I let my cares come closer
If only to push them right away
As I entrap myself all over
Inside these four walls again

These are just a few on my poems that i have wrote when i was in hospital

faith i think ur poems r really good

:-[

Nice poems Faith.

Hey Jonathan. I am glad you are feeling better today having seen your girlfriend.

hiya ppl hope ppl r ok i have some news on mike!

anyone there

yea we're i think , wat news have u got for us then? on mike

you can't trust everyone, it's hard enough to trust yourself. what am i meant to do when my trust is broken again. you wont ever undersatnd what that's done to me..... you know who you are, but i don't, not any more.

message for 'J'

j, you obviously don't know me, but having read your synopsis above, i was wondering how things were going.

send me a mail anytime if you want to chat. you never know, it might help.

hiya faith its kay
erm i Loved the poems and
are you ok chick coz you seemed
kinda out of it for the last few dayz
and i was woundering what was up......?
i hope you start to feel better babes
i love you and i dont wanna loose you
now i have just kinda got to know
you ova the last cuppal of mounths
i hope that your life works out
i could not tell this to your face coz
i would have got too nervous

so cyz l8r
from kay
-x-

Vicky, I don't know what my sis said to you so I cant explain it and Wot the fuck have i done that needs explaining.

Kate

help me i hate bein bullied i cant take it no more c