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Anyone want to make a suicide pact with me? I am insane, 31, single, described as beautiful but mental by most who know me. Have car, need garage to die by carbon monoxide poisoning. Looking for someone else truly suicidal that wants to die peacefully, gently with me, to comfort me and I will do the same in final moments of this torurous life that I am forced to exist in...for now anyway. I'll show everyone. Life Sucks, I know that is so trite and after 20 years of writing that it rings true more than ever now! My only guilt and remorse is leaving my 3 children motherless but life is not fair I guess the sooner they realize that life is nothing more than pain and misery the better off they will be. Can't believe I used to actually be pro-life. I was a self righteous moron. I guess I believed in the protection of "innocent" life.

You know what? You're a frickin' self-absorbed idiot. You don't get to cause misery to your children and your family and your friends just because oh wahh, life is hard. Guess what, honey? Life IS hard. But you don't see the rest of us bitching and moaning about it all the time. Why don't you get off your lazy ass and do something to change the parts of your life that you don't like? And if you can't be a decent parent to your kids, give them up for adoption right now. They deserve a shot at having a half-way un-screwed up life. How about you do something unique for a change, and think about somebody besides yourself.

Just hang in there angel and be a mother to your kids.Life is only hard because your making it that way.And now your making it harder by worrying about how your going to kill yourself.Spend that energy on something else.I think what your really asking for is someone to help you live not to share some suicide wish with.I truly wish you happiness and the love you deserve.

ha ha. oh becky. you should get off your lazy ass and do something unique like make a good argument or try to think about what you're saying. she can do whatever she wants. you said life is hard, so the kids would realize that if she does kill herself.

and hopefully she does see the rest of us bitch and whine because that's what a lot of people do. people like you will never be able to stop it.

for some people changing your life won't do it. we need to change more than that. if we just change our life than we might just be changing the way we think because there are some things in the world that we can't change.

angel- i hear ya, i feel the same way about life.. ive been in so many mental hospitals its not even funny and im juss 16. ive tried so many ways to kill myself but you know what, i finally got the help i needed and i do still thinik about killing myself all the time teh only diff is that i dont do it .. just hang in there shit will and can get better.

angel- i hear ya, i feel the same way about life.. ive been in so many mental hospitals its not even funny and im juss 16. ive tried so many ways to kill myself but you know what, i finally got the help i needed and i do still thinik about killing myself all the time teh only diff is that i dont do it .. just hang in there shit will and can get better.

Angel,
I understand that life is hard, I know how you feel about wanting to end your life, but you need to try and hold on for your children and your family.
Teaching kids that life is hard, by their mother committing suicide, that isn't fair, they need your love, they don't need you showing them how worthless life is.'
Please don't listen to Becky, we all know that your problems aren't from being lazy, we know they're real and they come from deep inside.
I do agree that your choice of words used was pretty harsh, it's as if your problems are your kids fault, and your trying to teach them a listen. Don't take your love and life away from them, because there is nothing more important than a mothers love. Angel, ending your life is just gonna cause more problems for your children, it isn't going to solve the worlds problems, it's just going to cause your kids to feel the same way you do, and amybe they'll grow to be just a suicidal as you, is that really what you want.
One thing I do agree with Becky on, if you don't want your kids, give them to a loving family, especially if you go through with your plans.
Write them a letter explaining them that you can't take care of them and that you love them alot, somewhere away from where you live, don't let them have a clue that you killed yourself, that would disturb them alot more. Because then they'll grow to believe that you did it because of them.
But the best thing, is for you to seek help, and raise these children the best you can, because they need your love, they need their mother.

ive felt depressed since i was a child.. i didnt know what it was called, i just felt unhappy all the time. I was molested and abused by my mothers friend, and i was too young to even know what was going on.. i just remember her saying something to me one day in a threatening tone "you dont remember anything from before?" or something like that.. and i said no, cuz i didnt.. im guessing my mind had blocked it out. One day she told me she did something wrong, and she was heating up a fork and said "your mother told me i could do this to you" i did remember her hitting me one day (i guess she was babysitting me) and someone came over and she told me i better not be crying or say anything. It was her brother that came over. He was a police officer in uniform.. i dont remember what she said to him about me.. its all in bits and fragments.. since then i was always obsessed with weapons and self defense, my saftey and the saftey of others (im a black belt in kenpo) im 36 now... have had trouble with relationships my whole life, i swore never to have feelings for anyone ever.. i fell in love with one of my best friends (who says im like a brother to her) ugh...and i think i loved her so much the rejection drove me insane.. for real.. i tried to have the police shoot me (stand off with a SWAT team) but they arrested me and took my guns.. the one thing that made me feel safe and that i enjoyed in life. i still have one.. but i want to die peacefully. one night i was praying to god just to let me come to heaven and i heard this powerfull voice (that really got my attention) say "I Will Allow It" it probably wasnt god.. i read if you are really depressed you can hallucinate. If i took dramamine (to stop me from puking it up) 90 vicodin 10/500's, 400 valium 10mg, and 320 Soma's (350mg each) and 1500 mg+ of trazadone (an antidepressent, how ironic) i think the LD of trazodone is around 2400mg) Ambien, im not sure how many yet as i dont have them yet, they are a prescription pill)ive been saving the trazodone, they dont help anyways. would that be enough to kill a 240 pound male by itself, or would i have to use the plastic bag method (where you put a plastic bag over your head and rubber bands around your neck over the plastic bag) and then as you lose conciousness, you suffocate) i heard it works 100 percent of the time.. i kinda wanna go without the bag, like laying in a motel room watching tv and just pass out... ive thought about this my whole life and i cant put it off any longer. Im just waiting for my medic alert bracelet with the DO NOT RECUSUTATE and the order to Medicals teams to abide by my directive to refuse ALL medical treatment under any conditions to keep me alive... i think i have it pretty well thought out. do you think the dosage is enough?

I guess its best to get this done with before I screw up and have kids and end up skrewing them up. My first plan to kill my self was in kindergarten. Its been 15 years and has only goten progressively worse. I am like a regular soap opera, abused, depressed, fucked up. Yes now is best, before I get attachments. Pathetic, yes, but what can you do?

asdfjkl
What can you do? seek help, sometimes getting attachments helps, because you are never alone and your always loved.

help.......

Do you love me?
Or do you not?
You told me once,
but I forgot.

I had a heart,
so tender and true.
But now it's gone,
from me to you.

If I should die,
and go up there.
I'll write your name,
on the golden stair.

If your not there,
by judgement day.
I'll know you went,
the other way.

I'll give the Angels,
back their wings.
Golden harps,
and other things.

And just to prove,
my love is true.
I'll go to hell,
to be with you.

I LIKE TO BURN MY SKIN UNTIL I WATCH THE LAYERS TURN WHITE THEN DISINTERGRATE. THEN THE WATER OOZES FROM MY BODY AND I MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PATCH OF FRESH SKIN

i'm 15 years old and i am alone. i have always been nice to everyone but it seems like no one cares. maybe i'm meen, i don't know. they always say "ohh i love you !!", but i'm starting to think it's all just an act and i'm alone. maybe i'm paranoid, i don't know. maybe i was just too nice and worried too much about what others think and how they feel. i guess you can't please everyone at the same time... in this case, i can't please the two poeple i really love and they don't notice all my efforts... they stay together and i am alone. i'm starting to think it will always be this way, because it always has. it will always be this way. i am a mistake. i'm not suppose to be here, and i can't wait any more. i can't take it. i simply can't. i guess that's just my luck.

I am 16 years old.. Everyday I tell myself.."I'm going to do it" andI cry everyday..therapy,pills,nothing helps..I don't know what to do anymore... Im at the end of my rope..
I shouldn't be feeling like this im only 16 years old and already I am wanting to die every day of my life? Thats not right. Now I have to go to some institution that I dont even belong in... I dont deserve this..i think ill just kill myself

so i kno what ur thinkin, yeah another life story about some one who's had a bad time and wants to kill themselves. well quite frankly i dont have the balls to do it even tho at times i get so wound up and hurting inside that i get the pills all set out infront of me, and the suicide note written but theres still things inside me that think im being selfish for leaving the people i love by killing myself. I was put on anti depressants when i was 13, not for being abused or treated badly. My parents used to argue like fuck and i couldnt take the screaming, fighting and shouting every night. But anyways i came off them not long ago (im 16 now) because i met someone, i met him when i was 14 but iv only realised now 2 years later that i love him so much and i cant leave him after all the times he has stuck by me! i cant leave anyone i love, and ill always be here for them if ever they feel the same way. my hotmail addy is kissing_in_the_rain@hotmail.com so if u ever wanna chat and get things out i love talking and helping people coz i kno what it feels like to be upset and hurting, yet i always kno that knowing sum1 cares about u can make u feel better... weather ur gonna kill urself or not, lets chat about it and see why ur doin this to urself. im no pcyciatrist but ud be getting help and advise for free! theres sum days i might have to ask u for help tho coz everyone gets down and hurts...

I've been there, seen it, got the t-shirt and come out still alive..if you need to chat my e-mail is: mabrook26@yahoo.co.uk

why do we live in this fake dead world

We live in this 'fake dead world' because its a challenge. the challenge is to see what you can make out of it. are you creative enough to take it, and create your own image of an ideal life, better still have you the balls and stomach in which to do it? suicide may seem like a great idea, but ive got a better one. how about you give life a go and see what you can do with it? so i ask u again. have u the guts to take up my challenge and see how creative u can be with ur life?
here is my email/msn if anyone needs to chat Bossuk@hotmail.com.

Ive thought of suicide since the age of 14 when i first masterbtaed and thought is that it, and i put knives to my arms but never striked .i find it hard to express my self now but would like to chat to people who suffer from the same sort of thing as me get me on msn or e mail me at nickemould1975@hotmail.com

Hey if anyone wants or needs to talk ive got a talent 4 being a gud listener, my e-mail/messenger is mia27_1976@hotmail.com

life is beautiful

You fight for your next step, let the past go, let it disappear slowly, never regurgitate, imagine of the life you could have. i n my miind i create my own identity and my own life, i live the fantasy in my head to balance the bored, unwanted and pathetic reality, reality is a chore, hurdles to gt past for now. Mabe for tomorrow it will be different, n ill be able to live, but for now i have a life in my head, i go to bed dreaming of it, and everyminute that you dont have a task to do, u live that life.

I remember when I was growing up, my mom had always said she was going to kill herself. Her mom had killed herself when she was 16 or 17. She left 8 children. Could you imagine the pain and hell my mom and her family went through after that? Grew up in foster homes and had a pretty rough life. Some of you people on here may have some difficult lives, but you are still very young. I am now 25 and still have the memories of my moms words after she had an argument with one of her boyfriends or had a bad day or when she struggled to raise us 5 kids on her own. Those words haunt you for the rest of your life!!!! Depression is an illness that may or may not be cured, but there are ways to help it. Trust me, my mom has been dealing with it for years. Just remember when you think you want to kill yourself that it hurts too many people and it is selfish to put the people you love and who love you through it. If you think your life is just the worst thing your parents and god has given you, why not pray and ask god to help!!!!!!

u lot r so sad if ur going to kill urself get on with it dont cum looking for sympothy

Steven u've got it all wrong man unless u really wanna commit suicide wot r u doin the site? Giving these wannabe dead people a hard time.

i don't really know what to say, i don't really know what i'm doing here. maybe i think i need help, maybe i know i do, maybe i'm too scared to ask for it, then again, i don't know that i want it.
im not gonna go into the whole 'i've had a crap life' 'i wanna die' because i don't see how it would help. i don't talk to people i know about me or how i'm feeling because i can't and they don't wanna know. i'm usually better off trying to save the rest of the world than facing up to reality in my little world. although some of what i've read has set me thinking, and i'm not gonna proclaim to you all that im gonna go kill myself then disappear never to be heard of again, until i realise maybe i don't have the guts and i will come back after all. if i do it then big deal i'm another statistic, if i don't then 'fantastic' i'm still a statistic just a livin, breathing one thats irritating the sh*t out of anyone who comes into contact with me. i guess i'll have to wait and see what kinda mood tomorrow brings.
take care and i hope you find the strength to truly go the way you want to go. xxx

i h8 life

hey im lost i was lookin for skateboarding and i found this can sum1 help?

HI

i think u all should be wiped out of this planet becoz u are moany baster*s selfish and deserve to die u are just making life harder for others who injoy it i couldnt kill my self becoz i like fucking woman 1 of lifes qwalitys and if ya dont like that then ur all gay................

go and fuc*ing party then go fuck a hoe and get stoned great fun better than sitting around wanting to die go find some m8s loners

im hoping someone on here can help me, im pretty young and not so educated in this stuff, i'd really appreciate the help....this is the first time im actually talking about all this stuff on the net (or ever for that matter)......i know for a fact that i can't take this life anymore and, the pain is just too much and i've lost the will to go on. at the moment, i have no one i can talk to or relate with, especially in a day to day basis, i find it hard to tell my friends and certainly my family about the way i feel, they have no idea. my problem is that i want to die, so much, when i say this, you can't begin to imagine how much i mean it, everywhere i am, at whatever point of the day, in my head, i list all the ways i could possible 'accidently' die in my head, or i sorta wish it would happen.

anyways, back to the point, my problem is that i want to kill myself, but im too scared of the pain, could someone educate me and tell me some not-so-painful methods of killing yourself, please?

and if neone wants to talk, email or add me to msn.

i cant make love to a woman or men i am deeply depressed and cant take viagra it dosent work i get pleasure touchin my self is that wrong? i want some one to send me off cos i cant do it to myself! any takers?

LIFE IS SO SHIT I NEED TO DIE I NEED HELP I DON'T WANT TO DIE PAINFULLY DO U HAVE ANY IDEAS? I WAS THINKING OF AN OVER DOSE BUT I'M NOT TO SURE I AM LOOKING FOR A PARTNER TO BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BY MY SELF I HATE LIFE I HATE MY FAMILY I HATE SKOOL I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND MY LIFE IS PAINFUL AND FULL OF TORTURE IF ANYONE CAN HELP POST UR EMAIL AND I'LL GET BACK TO U IF I'M NOT DEAD ALREADY

LIFE IS SO SHIT I NEED TO DIE I NEED HELP I DON'T WANT TO DIE PAINFULLY DO U HAVE ANY IDEAS? I WAS THINKING OF AN OVER DOSE BUT I'M NOT TO SURE I AM LOOKING FOR A PARTNER TO BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BY MY SELF I HATE LIFE I HATE MY FAMILY I HATE SKOOL I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND MY LIFE IS PAINFUL AND FULL OF TORTURE IF ANYONE CAN HELP POST UR EMAIL AND I'LL GET BACK TO U IF I'M NOT DEAD ALREADY

LIFE IS SO SHIT I NEED TO DIE I NEED HELP I DON'T WANT TO DIE PAINFULLY DO U HAVE ANY IDEAS? I WAS THINKING OF AN OVER DOSE BUT I'M NOT TO SURE I AM LOOKING FOR A PARTNER TO BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BY MY SELF I HATE LIFE I HATE MY FAMILY I HATE SKOOL I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND MY LIFE IS PAINFUL AND FULL OF TORTURE IF ANYONE CAN HELP POST UR EMAIL AND I'LL GET BACK TO U IF I'M NOT DEAD ALREADY

Everyone at sum point in their lives faces pain, sum get over it, sum dont.
Every nite i lie in bed, thinking, praying i will be dead tomorrow, but i always wake up. I feel trapped in this world.
I cant cry, i cant laugh.
My mind is numb, my body hurts.
My soul i sad.
I just need to build up the courage to finally end my life and be free from this pain.

hey my name is melanie i am first time in this chat and i have feeling which are driving me nut completly i mostly get confused so much that i feel to endit all now and when i think about the possitive side i realise that there is no positive side i have feeling that no one likes me and i have no bf for almost 3 years all alone and i dont have nobady i could talk to about my feeling i do go to the coucellor but it doesn't help i have home problems no one seems to be priciating me being around so why bother i have cople friend but they are like hi and good bye you know i do wont to have some fun i hide my problem so noone knows but thats not realli it isnit i cant hide my reall side of me all my life i 've been living in this for 4 years thinking to end it all but i have no idea how to start do you think i should ? what do you think your opiion is very important to me

hey everyone, heres my messenger/email if u wanna have a chat sumtime mia27_1976@hotmail.com

i think life is absolutly gr8 i think its wonderful. i think ur all a bunch knobjockey, why dont u just top urself. LMAO...... and put us all out of our misery.............bye bye

hello, i cant realy say that my live has been as bad as yours, but, i still have had a rough time, and resulted to cuttign myself, not deeply, but still harming myself, and crying *looks embarresed* but, well, you'll probrably thing, what an over sencitive dick but, well i have been through one sided relationships that have hurt me, like, this girl just kept having me when she wanted me then just droping me at the last moment, and i went though a hole year in school getting bullied, which wasnt the nicest thing, but now i'm in college, all the people are below me in the 'popularity chart' and i feel more superior than them, and the girl who was leading me on and droping me, well, she started to accualy like me, so i just subtly said, 'look, you have hurt me in the past, and since then i hve learnt not to like you any more, and i dont want anything to do with you, so go away and stop flirting with me coz its rather annoying,' thn i just walked off, and she sed, 'yeah well it doesnt matter now, coz i think your a dick now anyway' and i just looked at her as if to say, as if!, so now, i'm living a slightly happy life, with less bad things happenin, and i have a beautifull girlfriend and now its all happy, and the point of this message was to say, no matter how hard your life can be, just live through it like 2morro is ur last, i do, so i do whatever comes to my head now, lol, i know this is gonna sound sad, but me and my m8's are in our own jackass/cky/trigger happy, team, and we do anything and everything :)

life is a bubble, yours is burst! go was yourself down the drain!!

Hey,
ive been through a really bad time at home, i know exactly what it is like to want to die but i get over it every now and again lol! but i feel the only way to help a depressed person is if they talk to a depressed person cus 'normal' people just cant understand if u want to talk to me about anything add me to msn sara_vale@hotmail.com

hey i red your message and i know how itis to have a family problem i had those since i was 14 now i am 18 well i wans thinking to end it all that time but i had some thinking about and finelly when i was 15 years it ogt so far that i almost too over dose well it seemed that it's going to work but i coudn't find any pill in my house so i guess thats what save my life. But I was thinking about whole 3 years my life is been bit rough there was actually no time that i thought be happy.

I broke it off with my friend that i know for 2 years i opened my heart to her cause i felt so lone and when i met her i thought that this time i will do everythink to be happy welll things got bit different than i thought si i was friendly i as much as i could be and still didn't help i didn't know wht to do she was only using me she never so a good friend to me i was there for her anytime but she wasn't and the while i felt this is going well i opened my heart even more to her i wonted to be like sister to her i was not pushing her to do anythink she would like or even wante to do i did everything i could once she was alright and once she was different she was changing her mood as well as her clothes evryday i didn't know what to do where did i go wrong that think was that i hadn't seen the way she was using me only me other friend saw it and kept on telling me why ? it she worth it? then i realised she isn't i broke it off it was the hardest thing i ever done now it's been months i am down the way i used to be before she maked me to get to the stage when i was enjoying my life waking up morning and first think was her i have some one who cares i was reaally happy but now i am down as i saw two years ago i do feel like killing my self i am nobody to talk to and it is furstrating.

i have brother but doesn't know how it feels some time i feel sorry for him i dont show the reall side of me maybe i feel there is no point i dont wont anyone to worryied about me or feell sory all i wont to be alone and lone die i am thinking more of thsuicide and i feel that nobody would miised me it wouldn't matter i wouldn't have to wake up and think not again i have to go to college and think about how am i going to hide all my feelings so nobody see it i do see concellor but it doesn't help me i dont fell comfortible to talk to any one i fell ok with writing and i know that what i wrote is really coming out of my heart and this i s how i feel but when i talk to her i fell should i say it or should i keep it as my secrets and some time i am sick of my secrets i have to keep so much and nobody to tell so why i dont end it up and all the pain gone and nobody have to be there to use me or to make fun of me

by the way if anyone wonts to chat to me Melanie
then here whitefrais@hotmail.com

stop been a bunch of tossers so fuck off and stop getting people to feel sorry for you!!! have a nice life bye bye like me! ROTT IN HELL!!!

life is what u make it

U FUCKERS NEED TO GET A LIFE UR ALL A BUNCH OF PSYCHO MANIACS AND U NEED TO GET OUT OF YOUR SICK FUCKED UP LITTLE WHOLES AND SMELL TEH COFFEE CAUSE IF U DONT YOU'LL REGERET IT FOR WHATS LEFT OF YOUR POOR WORTHLESS PATHETIC LITTLE LIVES

um i dont know where to start. i'm 17 and i dont come from a poor or underpriviliged background but i feel like im living in hell. When i was 16 i took an overdose. My sister died when i was 14.
I'm scared of dying because theres so much i want to do and see but im also afraid of living. I know i might sound silly to a lot of people but i cant take it. I've fucked up on my a-levels and my boyfriend is going to dump me. I'm really confused. if anyone can help me and i mean polite stuff then please email me at:
i-luv-jellybabies@excite.com
thanks
luv sarahxxxxx

When I was 18 i was standing on a chair with a noose above my head waiting to stick it round my neck but the thought of killing myself was more scary than the thought of living. It was my 21 birthday yesterday and i'm the happiest person i know. I'm ashamed of how i felt and i never thought id see today but i'm glad i have and i'm going to look forward to tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. Life is what you make it and if you don't think you can change it then maybe some1 else can you just need to courage to tell someone, you may not always want to talk but there is always someone willing to listen

hi your all very wierd

why dont you all sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow or go out and get fucked and forget all your problems or even better take a long hard look at yourself and realise that if you were really going to kill yourselvs then youd already be dead rather than sitting here reading this

could the stupid, little, ignorant shits stop sending messages like"oh your all a bunch of maniacs", coz you dont know what its like for people in ths room, that feel alot of pain and dealing with alot of problems, so you better stop judging people, coz u dont know fuck all.

hey to day i read ur messages all of you and i have to say that if you people dont need anymore help why dont you just sign of because there are poeple that need help just like me and other and stop sending email like fuckers cause it doesnt make any sence

Life sucks for all the hyper sensitive and mistreated people that exist in this fucking planet.

Its very simple, todays world is to competitive and the ones who dont have the status, the wealth, the intelligence and the attitude will go down. And also it is true believe it or not: some people are more sensitive than others, when will society learn this god dam it?. They must separate hyper sensitive children from the normal ones, not fit them in the same class, idiots.

Although litte we can do for the misfortunate ill, poor and crazy there are ways to prevent or scratch away the sensitvness that we might have inherited or the simple fact that our parents raised us worng. These ways do not include alchol, drugs or suicide. Its very simple, just follow these rules.

1-Do not have a fucking baby if you will not love it, that is either have time to give it love, respect it, advide it or give it friendship.

-Remember being rich or give it food is not love, its a fucking obligation so it does not mean that u are giving love to our child if u have a high economy. It is ur fucking duty to feed it, give it education and love it. If u cannot love and do the other tow then dont fucking have a Child because that last one is the most important.

2-If you do make the big mistake to have a baby, then teach him to be competitive, unsensitive, witty and smart. That is don´t give him bullishit that people are nice, teach it to stand on its one be competitive and witty in life. Being its friend involves encouraging him or her to the maximum. If ur child sucks at something then u give him all the support anyhow no matterwhat. Period.

(it is a mistake in an overpopulated earth with competition and hypocrecia that can kill.

3- Raise ur child well: if u are stupid enough to have a Childe in this overpopulated place and exreamly comeptitive then u must fucking raise ur child well.

-This involves not only give it love and support but other things. This doest not involv supoorting it, giving it money or food in its mouth that is your god dam job if u are a parent!", learn it now! but also give it what she or she wants no matter if u disagree and never go against the dreams or passions involving your child.

4- Never shall you disgrace ur child in front of people or with other family members (this will bring bad luck), don´t curse at it when its unecesarry, never critizise ur child, never say ¿You wont make it?, never be envious of ur childs qualities and finally:

5- Las of all yet as important never shall u take ur child from place to place or from country to country when its going through adolesence that is 11-20, believe me if u do, you will ruin its emotions, plans, possible friendships or bf/gs and provide it a sever case of constant nostalgia whom you might not realieze how much it will affect your child for years and probaly suffer sever depression that can lead to sucide. Remember the human race does not like changing envioronments especially during adolescence. I

f some idiot does not believe that going from one place to another is almos suicide, then listen to Flamenco Music: probaly the most painfull music ever done, by the spanish gypsys whom wondered mistreated all over the world and the opression of the Nordic European impossed culture which reigns now aroudn the world, that is one of competitvness and mistrusst. This was done bye Isabela Catolica (the anti spaniard) on the always latin, muslim and jews spanish whom sang along the gypsys the greatest suffering of humanity which is to follow

This fucking:

ANGLO-TEUTO-NORDIC-EUROPEAN CULTURE

Which is as COLD AS DEATH.

err...i dont really know what to say here. I guess im having a few problems in my life at the moment and im feeling really depressed and suicidal and i just dont know what to do. No one i know understands so i thought i'd come on here and talk to people who feel the same thing and understand...

dudes stop being wank pads if u wanna die then just do it ! I fink its really gay that that u hav 2 moan all the time!!!!!! jst do it! kat and cambo! XXXXXX

HI PEOPLE AM LEE
I COM FAE:SCOTLAND I AM 16 AND A SHE.
I LOVE LIFE.. BUT SOME THINGS UP SET ME AS WELL ...... BY BY EVRYONEXXXXXXX

hi its melanie i really thought that everythink was going ok after a while and today i am feeling and depressed i dont understanbd why i am sad and my mood is horrible last night i had dream that i fell in love with my friend ina class she is a girl and it was so truth that i believed that it really happend and when i woke up i really though it happend some hhow when i reallised it didn't it was just a dream and i was sad i dont understand how is it possible i am going crazy i see thing and i feel thing that i wish i wouldn't i have visions for once i thought i have a special powers and i am completly lost if there is some one who tthing that can help me please email me on whitefrais@hotmail.com anytime

hi

Hey, my name is sheela. and im scared for my 13 year old brother. i dont think hell commit suicide, but my sister does.....i was talking to him on the phone tonight and he sounds sooo depressed, but the kid doesnt even know it. i was so close to him until i moved away, now hes getting distant. the cause of this leads to my mothter, im not blaming it on her ar maybe i am....i dont know but, she tries commiting suicide infromt of all us children, my lil bro was the yougest when she tried to slit her rists. shes such an aclohlic, so i moved here with my sister. my sister left cuz my mom was crazy. now my brothers stuck with her, we plan on letting him come and live wiht us in the summer. i think he thinks we gave up on him let him down by leaving him. im so scared for him, i want him to be happy, i dont want him to ever have suicidal thoughts...but i know i did at his age and even now. i love him so dearly, no one in my life is more important rightnow...how do tell him everthing will be ok???? help me help him please.
desperate.

and if you feel like adding me and chatting about this stuff no problem...nabess8@hotmail.com

Hi its lee.
Every where i go people allwas give me dirty looks
i don,t no how. Ma be its the way i dress or the way
i look. i don,t no.and people call me names as well
i just feel stupid and sad. i think i will just end ma
life coss i hav no one 2 talk 2..........

If some 1 wants 2 talk 2 me.

leahmckenna@yahoo.com

hey lee it's melanie i fell that way past 5 years and i jus got used to it always being the main person they looking at and never know why are they laughing at you and i will be more than happy to talk to you my email is whitefrais@hotmail.com

First of all, those nasty peopel who the deperessed people on this page do not need to hear get off this page go somewhere else. We are here for different reasons some to get support and other just to vent our feelings. I have chosen to finally kill myself.
I have been battling depression since I was 12(25 years).I am tired of fighting it. Antidpressant and therapist gave some short repieve but the depression always has come back and a little worse each time.I am tired of fighting this battle I have tried very long to overcome. I am single and childless I am going to die by hypothermia (nonviolent death). I am at peace with it now and feel a little better. I am getting my affairs in order so family does not have to eal with too much. I do not care what anyone lese thinks I know how long and how hard I fought and tried but
I know I'll have peace finally.

A message to those who are young or have not had problem for long do get help first many people are really helped. Some are not but many are.

hey im lilith, ermm like most people on here im depressed and ive been in here a few times but to sceard to write . i cut my arms and im not on aint d's my mum dont think im that depressed just fed up i have tried to over dose about 40 times and im only 14 . i have tried to hang my self about 3 times im sceard to hang my self. tonight i probally wil try agen there is nothing that no one can do i really need some anti d's but i dont want any one to know .i need some quick!!!!!!help

if any one does wanna add me to msn on :-
georginathegreatest@hotmail.com

I have been feeling the sense of no love since i was 11...i have wanted to kill myself since i was 12..I have thought about cutting my wrists and over doseing but im too scared......I need help fast befor i find myself doing something stupid.....
If you wanna talk to m or help me add me to msn at,anothneys_sickness@hotmail.com.

hi everyone i alsways thought i am happy i have everything i don't need to think about depressing or anyother thing now that I am 17 i am worried i have realised that i am depressend and i always work it out i am not sure if it is working for me this time i am going crazy with my self and there is nothing anyone can do. Every day i wake up and wishing i was dead i can't find the perfect way to die but i will some day i am feeeling that it taking me very down and i am starting to think that i am CRAZY but what else i dont talk to anyone nothing my family dont know anything and i am not sure to tell them it's like saying i am a big loser it is hard because my dad is prod of what i am doing in college and he is ononon about me how clever i am and everythink and i dont want to let him down it is hard i quees
i dont know if anyone will read this but i am so in love with a girl and i am a girl my self these two thing i have been keeping in my heart as long as my brain can remember i am a lesbian and i dont expect anyone to feel sorry for me by the way if any one wont 2 chat i'm on whitefrais@hotmail.com
anytime

This message is for Danielle, Danielle call a suicide hotline there in phonebook and on the net. They can tell you about places to go to. Do this today!!Update I got called in for a job interview for later in week. This has made me feel a little better I will see how interview goes before I do anything final. Also once you start feeling better think of something you want to do , call a trusted friend or relative and get them to do this fun thing you need to be very kind to yourself right now. Do not read nasty posting by people that do not understand depression only go to supportive site on net

hey ppl its lilith , the thing is about calling a hotline most ppl e.g me and my m8's find it hard talking to ppl u dont know over the phone. and somthing that big is hard .and painful well to me maybe not 4 u lot . ok w/b

xxlilithxx
xxx

Hey i have decided that i shouldn't kill ma self
because then they people will have 1. i shouldn't
kill ma self cos of them. I know most of the time
i feel i want 2 kill my self. But i have being thinking
wat about my mum and dad wat will they do or think wen they sea there doter laying on the flor
playing her best music. LIFES 2 SHORT!!!!
FAE LEE....

ONLY WHEN THE LAST FISH IS PULLED FROM THE SEA)

ONLY WHEN THE LAST FOREST HAS DIED)

ONLY WHEN THE LAST MOUNTOIN HAS BEEN MINED)

ONLY WHEN THE LAST OCEAN HAS BEEN POLLUTED)

ONLY WHEN THE DRY BARREN EARTH PODUCES NO MORE)

WILL MAN REALISE HE CAN'T EAT MONEY.)

THE PLANET ITS SELF IS LOVELY AND NETURE.
BUT IT IS PEOPLE HOW DISTROY US AND THE PLANET.

i feel much better today and i wish everyone to be happy as much as i am ( watch this last only couple days)

Hello!
I've noticed that many of the people posting messages on this site are very young. Are any of you over 24? I'm interested because of a book that I'm writing.

hello i just was reading do u think that lee has comitted suicide?
please ppl write bk

hello i just was reading do u think that lee has comitted suicide?
please ppl write bk

hello i just was reading do u think that lee has comitted suicide?
please ppl write bk

hey do u think lee has commited suicide plz can some one write bk soon :<

im going to kill meself on 24 12 2003 give some help tell me some good ways to do it

i like food
i like water
i slit my wrists
i hang myself
all this
jus cos of that bitch hoo got me addicted 2 lucazade tablets
dont do them there baaaaaaaaaaad

no i have not killed ma self. but i was.
am ok!!!

Why do u want 2 kill ur self 187????
and on 24 12 2003.
fae: lee

look, u dunt wanan leave ya kids, do you really want them to do the same? come on luv, give life a chance, i mean u shud luk at me! im 14 wiv 2 CHILDREN not one 2!!!I WAS RAPED! i didnt want this to happen,and i ashure you that i wanted to die as i felt usless and ferlt i didnt deserve for this ot happen to kme, but i have realised it happens and you have to tale life as if u die 2moro.Trust me luv, live ur life to the fullest, u only get one chance!

YeS uR rIgHt ThErE.)

i guess no one thinks my problem is so big. i would have liked some comment or advice even. but ok ok.

u should all love yourself for who you are and for what god made you. you are all special in each and everyway peace n goodbye x x x

Hi. I don't know what I'm doing here really. My boyfriend of 14 years strangled me on Thanksgiving to the point where I lost consciousness and was very near death (it wouldn't have been a bad way to go by the way, pretty painless), then he shot himself in the head just as I was waking up. I have 5 children ages 7,6,5,3,1. My bedroom is filled with blood. I think he did this because he thought I didn't love him, but that was not the case. I went to see him at the funeral home the next day. He was cold and blue, but I kissed his freezing lips and held his stiff hands. Only his mother and my daughters and I attended the burial and I shoveled all of the dirt around him myself. Why would anyone kill themself? You're going to die someday anyway. You might as well just ride this life out. How bad could it be? I've felt suicidal before. I've thought about how pointless life can be, but its really pretty short and you might as well see what it has to offer. If there is anyone out there that wants to talk or needs a friend please email me at Lnichols@tampabay.rr.com

Hi.
Iv been very sad 4 the past 2 weeks.
I think ma mum is depressed. She sits on
her chair and allwas looks sad and she wont tell
me anything. I ask her but no: It makes me upset
when i see ma mum like that i want her 2 be happy.

can someone help me pleas???????
xxx

Lee: Why do you think your mum is depressed? What is her relationship with your dad like? Is there money trouble? I don't know what to tell you except just try to make things as easy as possible for her and show her you care. You can email me at Lnichols@tampabay.rr.com if you like and we can talk more. Good luck.

I do show that i care.
But it still dosent help. may be it is money trouble?
i don't know.

And yes well talk more!!!

I used to think that there was hope and help but now after therapy and drugs and church and religeon and more God than you can cram down anyones throat I have come to realise that we battle this incurable diease called life alone and in vain. There is no greater purpose for your life therapists and priest and everyone else will feed you all this senseless bullshit about how it will all work out someday. But it wont, maybe thier will be days when the pain in less because your numb but in the end it gets worse it never goes away. I look forward to joining many of you in 'hell' very soon. If you want the pain to end you have to kill it...

well i am a 17 year old girl that will die soon then someone will get on here and look to see what i said To mom .. you where the best i love you To my dad i love you too to my sister and her little girl ashlyn i hope you have a grat life grow up be a good girl brandon you where a good brother i no that we did fight alot but you where there when i needed you to krystel you where the best friend the van lol driveing to the mall just haveing fun i lost my little boy i just want o be with him now i dont no when i am going to do it when when ever it is i hope i see you up there some day to ashley i lve you girly be good

I used to be a normal person until i fell in love with a stupid bitch and now all i wanna do is die.. wtf?

Well I guess nobody gives a shit about my problem.. lol maybe I will turn gay?

What is normal Andy???
+ Don't get ur self upset cos of the girl u fell in luv
with. May be just put that behind u + 4get about her
fae lee

Thanks Lee, I've just been upset cause i felt like she was the one for me and this was almost 9 years ago 2 lol. Yea i think it is time for me to move on.

I'm 14 years old and i feel like my worlds crashing around me.Mental hospitals ha! If only the did help.They provide comfort for a short period of timethen the cruel doctors think shes stable enough to be around the 'normal'people.I seem to think of killing myself alot lately.I wanna be saved from this life,the torture of war,hatred.I wanna see the light.Be held like an innocent child unaware of the dangers and warfare going on in the world.Im not meaning to sound like im complaining but i had to express this and it seems like others feel the same way.If im still thinking this way maybe my drug dosiage should be higher,or pile on more meds{which has happened recently}.BUT FUCK ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!!!! i guess the only way for me is out.I also doubt i'd ever make it into "Heaven".I'd be rejected like that.They think they know whats going on in my head.lol well fuck them.There's so much shit in this noggin of mine that if my mother or anyone else i care about knew it would kill them.or at least make them fall out of love with me.But whatever im a cruel twisted girl and i dont deserve my mothers pure love.Her love for her smart,talented daughter,capable to overcome any obstacles if she justput her mind to it.Hey y'all im pretty fucked for a girl who everyone thinks good of me.Dumbasses fell for this act!!

Bythe way all the dumfucks who write shit like quit complaining,or o i love life.WOW good for .don't u think thats what we want.Ur like a rich man bragging to a poor person.By the way if anyone wants to add me,which will be no one cause people could never wanna talk to me.But w.e here it is:esb3terri_schika@hotmail.com

HI PPL ITS LEE HOW R U ALL??

hey ppl i hav ben thinkin on going out i hav a emty house well not a fully emty house but my sis is a sleep and my mum and her bf hav gone to them pub this might be a gd bye note i really dont know. i probally live though it like i did b4 but this time i hav rope and not sum bed sheets bye bye if i talk on here l8er my sis saved me !!!!

love u xxx

Christmas is the worst time for feeling low.A time for families so they say.I cant stand it,self,self,self.It seems to me,were more selfish at this time of the year then the rest.To-day I went to die,through using my car exhaust,I did'nt do it and I dont no why.I am no longer passionate about life,it feels just like bullshit,we have forgotten what its like to breath clean air,feel the earth beneath our bare feet,be blinded by a setting sun etc.......if you do remember,your allmost certain to be there a lone.I love life,Iv never forgotten..........remember?

I have a 7 inch penis :-)

Why did u come on and say that.
what was the point??

hey every1,i think i mite b suicidal, i think about it all the time, i cant get a girlfriend, my m8s dnt respect me,apparently im goodlooking,i dnt think so.im so lonely,every nite i go 4 a walk on my own 4 a few hours.my m8s take the piss,call me a loner, they wont think its so funny when im gone.

u could of stoped her talked her out her body hanged there life less i droped to the floor and cryed . i looked up and her head droped to her shoulder . i screamed agen i could of saved her when i was sitting on the floor her wrist split and written in blood sorry on her dark pink walls . why didnt any of u stupid people help her ??? instead of writting things like'i have a 7 inch penis' what is the real point i just wish i had took her to the doctor just after she started cutting or got her sum pills from sum place or if my mum had been in that day ? instead of going to the pub ?WHY!!!

jst as i expected,no1 invited me out on newyears!im used 2 being on my own now anyway,only my brother asked if i was goin out,i think my mum made him ask!got drunk anyway tho!anyone else do the same.add me 2 your msn,if u want im bored!

MATTHEW JACK. WOODS
520 FRONT ST.
BOISE,IDAHO 83702
I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO KILL MYSELF LATELY AND I NEED SERIOUS HELP.BUT RIGHT NIGHT I AM LEFT IN NONE STOP LEGAL GAMES WITH LOCAL POLICE AND SO ON THAT MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO SEEK ITS ALLSO DO FROM IT I BELIEVE IT GIVES TONS OF STRESS AND SEXUAL RESTRAIN AND BURDEN THATS JUST MISERY I NEED OUT AND HELP BEFORE I KILL MYSELF

YEAH-BASICALLY-I-WANT-TO-KILL-MYSELF............I-DO-NOT-BELEIVE-I-SUFFER-FROM-MENTAL-HEALTH-CO'S-I'M-JUST-UNHPAPPY
I-AM-ONLY-21-AND-I'M-SICK-OF-THESE-FUCKING-DOCTORS-ALWAYS-PUTING-PEOPLES-UNHAPPYNESS-AND-LINKING-IT-TO-MENTAL-HEALTH
ARE-THEY-FUCKING-STUPID-OR-WHAT
A-LOT-OF-US-WHO-ARE-SUICIDAL-ARE-USUALLY-UNHAPPY-CO'S-WE-HAD-A-HARD-LIFE-AT-HOME-AND-WE-SEEM-TO-GET-A-LOT-OF-BAD-LUCK-IN-OUR-LIFE
WERE-JUST-FUCKING-UNHAPPY!
ANYWAYS-I-AM-AFTER-EFFECTIVE-WAYS-OF-KILLING-MYSELF
FOR-E.G-DRUGS-OVERDOSE-TO-ANYTHIN-ELSE-APART-FROM-HANGING-OR-SERIOUS-BODY-DAMMAGE
I-WANT-TO-KNOW-WHAT-I-CAN-TAKE-WHICH-WILL-KILL-ME-QUICK-WITH-AS-LITTLE-PAIN-AS-POSSIBLE
SO-PLEASE-GIVE-ME-SOME-SENSIBLE-INTELLIGENT-SUGGESTIONS
AND-FOR-THOSE-OF-U-WHO-WANT-TO-KNOW-WHY-I-AM-DOING-THIS
IT-PRETTY-MUCH-STARTED-LIKE-THIS
DAD-WALKS-OUT-ON-ME-WHEN-I'M-LIKE-8-HE-COULDN'T-GIVE-A-FUCK-ABOUT-ME
I-WAS-AN-ACADEMIC-FAILURE-TO-HIM-EVEN-THOUGH-I-GOT-INTO-MUSIC-COLLEGE
I-GOT-PRETTY-BADLY-BEATEN-AT-HOME
MY-MUM-IS-A-SINGLE-PARENT-ALKOHOLIC
PRETTY-POOR-ALWAYS-IN-DET
I'M-INSECURE
I'M-PRETTY-GOOD-LOOKING
I-GET-IN-FIGHTS-ALL-THE-TIME-CO'S-I'M-ALWAYS-FEELING-MAD-AND-FED-UP
IT-FEELS-LIKE-THERE-IS-NO-END-TO-THIS
U-KNOW-PEOPLE-CALL-U-A-COWARD-FOR-WANTING-TO-KILL-YOURSELF-CO'S-FOR-U-YOUR-LIFE-IS-SO-FUCKIN-HARD-TO-LIVE-COMPARED-TO-THEIRS
BUT-THERE-IS-HONOUR-IN-KILLING-YOURSELF
IT-REQUIRES-COURAGE
AND-TO-ME-THE-PEOPLE-THAT-DON'T-KILL-THEMSELVES-AND-KEEP-LIVING-THIS-ENDLESS-MERRY-GO-ROUND-OF-A-FUCKED-UP-LIFE
ARE-THE-COWARDS
THIS-WORLD-CONSISTS-OF:
CRIME
POVERTY
INSECURITY
THAT'S-ALL-IT-SEEMS-LIKE-TO-ME
I-MEAN-PEOPLE-THINK-U-GOTTA-GRADUATE-TO-UNIVERSITY-TO-BE-A-SUCCESS
SO-U-CAN-IMPRESS-YOUR-MOM-AND-DAD
YOU-GOTTA-GET-A-HIGH-PAYED-JOB-IN-A-FUCKING-OFFICE-AND-BE-MARRIED-TO-AN-ULTRA-ATTRACTIVE-WIFE
HAVE-3-KIDS
AND-THEN-SUPPOSE-THAT-MAKES-U-A-FUCKIN-SUCCESSS-DOES-IT?
WHAT-THE-FUCK-HEY-US-SUICIDAL-PEOPLE-WERE-ALL-FUCKING-LOSERS-AREN'T-WE

SO-FUCK-THE-GOUVERMENT-AND-THE-FUCKING-ANARCHY-LETS-GO-OUT-WITH-A-BANG!!!!!!!!!

OH-AND-BY-THE-WAY-IF-ANYBODY-WANTS-TO-MESSAGE-ME
MY-HOTMAIL-ADDRESS-IS:

mcwillg@hotmail.com

THE-MC-BIT-STANDS

FOR-MC-CO'S-I'M-A-RAPPER

OH-YEAH-ONE-LAST-THING
IF-ALL-US-SUICIDAL-PEOPLE-ARE-FUCKING-LOSERS
HOW-COME-MOST-OF-US-USUALLY-HAVE-BETTER-PERSONALITIES-AND-ARE-MORE-TALENTED-THAN-THESE-STUCK-UP-MIDDLECLASS-ASSHOLES
WHO-HAD-IT-EASY-FROM-DAY-ONE

READING-THE-REST-OF-THESE-FUCKING-POSTS-HAS-DISGRACED-ME

PEOPLE-WHO-AREN'T-SUICIDAL-DON'T-BELONG-ON-THESE-CHATROOMS
SO-QUIT-WASTING-YOUR-TIME-AND-OUR-TIME
AND-PLEASE-TAKE-YOUR-STUCK-UP-MIDDLECLASS
100%-EGO-PERSONALITIES
AND-GO-DO-SOMETHIN-UN-USEFUL-WITH-YOUR-BORING-LIVES-LIKE-WHINGING-ABOUT-TINY-LITTLE-PROBLEMS-THAT-USUALLY-DON'T-MEAN-FUCK-AND-ARE-MEANINGLESS-TO-MOST-PEOPLE-ANYWAYS
BUT-BECAUSE-YOUR-SO-SAME-SHIT-DIFFERENT-DAY
U-JUST-DON'T-KNOW

u ppl saying u wanna kill ur selfs .yer. have u every thought about ur family ......?........ well my sister didnt she was only 14 . she never thought about me my mum and my brother ,nan and grandad .......now shes dead .... both me and my mum are really depressed and the thing is we tryed to help her to get over it b4 it got to what she did but we couldnt ....... just stop 4 a min and think how hard it will b 4 ur family ...... PLZ B4 ITS TO L8 PLZ DO IT 4 LILITH

I am so so sorry 2 hear that, I was thinking why she has not being. replaying 2 ma emails.
I am so sorry......

can any1 tell me the address of a chat room were i can go and talk to people in the same situation as me,
thanks

WILL.UK i agrre with what ur saying, i dont suppose u no of any chatroom sites do u?i cant seem to find any at all , just how to"prevent" it!!!send me a post back!
thanks!

Hi there whats up...
tell me!! Well this is 1 hear 4 u
http://urid.org/chat/phpmychat.php3

Actually, that's not the right URL.

The live chat is located here:

http://www.lurid.org/chat/

Here is a poem I write in 1991 to describe how I often feel about suicide. I have made two attempts since then - came really close to succeeding in 1997.

A Siren's Song

Death beckons me - a siren’s song, calling to me, haunting.
It gnaws away my inner soul, teasing me and taunting
with promises of pain no more, to lift weight from my shoulders;
I’ll walk for miles on barren shores as waves pound on the boulders.

When e’er my thoughts are troubled or my brow’s knit tight with worry,
I curse the day that I was born – I’m not just somewhat sorry.
My back’s so tight against the wall my spine feels oddly numb.
It seems there is no hope at all, and Death does bid me come.

Yes, suicide’s a lovely way to foil the die that’s cast.
Just pull a trigger one time through . . . eternal peace - at last.
Yet up to now I’ve held my ground, and still I’m not sure why.
I’ve had the strength to chamber rounds - but none to let them fly.

Is fear of an eternal Hell what ever stills my hand
from sending forth this hollow shell into another land?
Or is it what I’d leave behind - my loved ones, I’m afraid -
who’d mourn their loss in me to find their gifts of love betrayed?
And what if Death brings comfort not - ‘tis not an altered state,
but is instead just emptiness . . . relief does not await?
Is emptiness a feeling of suspended time and space?
Or just a form of nothingness, and life cut short - a waste?

And what if Death should find me still, but not of my own making?
Will God yet make me burn in Hell that I was once Death wanting?
Or has my God a perfect love - forgiving all Her children;
yes, even those who’d take their lives, discarding all She’s given?

While all my questions dog me with uncertainty and doubt,
the pain of life does daunt my soul.
Despair seems to win out.
Oh, will God love me anyway if I my own life take?
Still, every single day I pray
for God that choice to make.

And failing that, if e’er I should work up the nerve to try,
I pray to God I do it right - and not just half-way die.
For bad enough my life’s a waste – it’s only mine I’ve wasted.
It’s only my tongue bitterness, despair, despondence tasted.
But if I do just half the task
and meet Death just halfway?
Then who must care for me, I ask,
and for my efforts pay?

Yes, all these thoughts run through my mind
when e’er Death calls me on.
And my resistance, I am sure,
one day will let me down.
For Death is yet a siren’s song
and bids me daily, so . . . . .
I know though it may well be wrong,
I’ll find the strength to go.

Hi sorry i postded it in badly.
Hey that poem was so lovely!!
Any 1 u know who wants 2 start a coven,
i am looking 4 ppl 2 start 1.....

hey lee is it i would love to be in a coven

Hey, thats good!! What do u know about wicca??
and witch craft?
Have u got any friends that r in 2 it......

Its good 2 know that some ppl r in 2 it!!
Cool+cool

This is ma E-mail if u want 2 talk more...
leahmckenna@yahoo.com

hey lee i dont have yahoo or hotmail, well i do have a hotmail but its kittyevil_lilith666@hotmail.com
but the thing is u can probally seen the lilith b4 coz she was my best bud . now shes gone . ill send u a email ok

Hey i have not heard fae u yet.....

To increase tolerance in yourself and people around you.

We should learn from the Earth's most patient teachers! that religious tolerance be one of our features. In all human hearts, have this light shine!.
Let us all welcome it through spirit, body, and mind.
Water it and nurture it! Let it continue to grow. So suffering and loneliness no longer will know.
For what you send out returns to three times three.
this is my will. So mote it be!!!

well
this is my first time visiting this site
i must say i am distugested by some of the coments from people that visit just to make fun
but ya the reason i am writing is because
just like many others i seffer from depression
i am 18 years old tonight i almost did it
i just got out of the hospital about a week ago for yet again another attempt
i guess i just really dont have the guts to do it
i really need help
i have tried so many diffrent thing and i have tried to talk to so many people yet i still feel so alone
i would really like some one to talk to who might understand i dont know how long i have i dont think i can hold on much longer
lee i see you are wiccan
i am also wiccan
i would really like to talk to you
my msn is
kewlbeansyo@msn.com
well good bye for now but hopefuly not for good

christina

Well thats good i diden't know there were very many out there like me. coz most of the time i heare about catholics+prostestants.
cool!!

Oh have u got a coven??

well me and a couple other people were talking to a high priestist but i lost contact with them so no at the moment i am not in a coven.

ok i just want to die no one loves me

melissa,
if you ever want a stranger to talk to because sometimes it is better than some one you know and care what they think about what you say
e-mail me at
kewlbeansyo@msn.com

Anyone out there a
Capricorn
Aquarius
or Pisces ?

Sorry am a sagy,
so r u into witch craft then,
chrissy r u there???

sorry lee
i have been away for a while
yes i am wiccan
where are you at
and tell me about your self

Well i hope u r well!!
so how r u??
ok i will tell u about ma self......
Well i like rock+punk+rapp music and i also like
a bit of jaz and, manson!!!
as u know i like nature and animals!
i live in Kilsyth wich is near Glasgow.
So where r u fae? and what kind of music do u like,

OOHH
and i am 16,

your mother is sucking my dick

needs help

needs help

OK
what was that all "about"

im an 18 yr old female attending college. i feel so alone in the world and need a friend. i live in texas, and if you live there too write me. particularly if you ar eclose to the houston area- as am i.. id like a friend that i can spend time with other than on this damn computer.
i have auburn hair with pink streaks, blue eyes (adorned with thick, black glasses), 5'7", 138 lbs , ( only intelligent life please- im a total nerd.)

Hey....I'm feeling suicidal....is there anyone on this suicidal chatroom at d mo???

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hello everybody
i am 20 yrs old guy from india and i wanna die because i have discovered that life is nothing and tried to commit suicide a lot but it failed. i wanna kill myself plz guide me the most suitable method with which i can die within seconds without any sort of pain. plz

plz just tell me that with what thing i can die within few seconds as i dont have gun neither cyanide.

plz for god sake just give me an idea how can i die within sec.

Ya know what-life is fuckin suck. My life is fuckin suck. I have been fired twice because of my chronic disease of sickle cell and leukemia, have no family support and friends that just don't give a crap, no one knows my pain. I have physical and emotional pain 24/7 and have had depression all my life. I was almost successful with suicide a couple of times from overdosing on vicodin, percocet and morphine sulfate. Now, I have stronger version of narcotics and will try to finalize my life tonight. Life is just worthless and meaningless. I have a whole lot more problems that I just won't get into now. I cry everyday, sit in my room for hours upon hours just surfing the net finding other lives that are screwed, and just watch and wait for the next person to walk all over me or abuse me. Damn am i sorry!

i raise the blade to my arm and slowly cut down the vein i watch as my blood seeps fromm my body. as the time passes i feel weeker and weeker. blood still pouring from my arm i black out ....................................................then wake up depressed and disapionted that i did not die but i say to my self better luck next time

u people sicken me. evry1 feels suicidal at times but us who actually give a shit about sum one other than ourselves get off our fucking lazy asses and try to help ourselves!why dont u either top urself to fuck or shut up crying about it!if u need help il pull the trigger u stupid cunts!

hey ppl any1 have this happen 2 u a girl from my school lead me on said she wanted me and wanted to date and when i asked her out she said no. Then when i got home i took alot of pills.

One person that i know wants to commit suicide. Him/her feels that their life is at its end. If that person feels that she/he should kill his/herself, what is the best way to do so?

Hi. Iam 14. I hav been really depressed since a bout the age 11. I feel that their really is no hope for me. I have to live with people who rarely even listen to me. My mom is disapointed in me cus iam no longer a virgin, and i hav been doin drugs. I have been doing drugs since 13, and i am almost 15. I hav lost all of my rea friends, my mom is cheating on my dad, and i hav no one to turn to. Many occasional times i hav thought of committing suicide. So far, i hav cuts on my arm from slitting myself half to death, bcus my parents r no longer proud of me, im almost at the point where im being kicked out of the house im in, and the only way ive learned how to be happy is by drugs. In fact, my parents r frieked bcus i hav been dating this 22 yr old guy in Indiana for the past 2 days. They ony found out today. My cousin overheard me talking to my other cousin, Cassandra. I unfortunately did not know he was 22. He had told me he was 16. I really see no point in living. I guess i just need a friend to talk to. If someone has any advice, email me at Sk8tergirl5347@aol.com or try me at Koffybn@yahoo.com THANX

i hate life so much im so alone

i felt so alone for so long i have no one who cares about me i felt so alone since i was 9 im now 16 i hate everything about my self

I never thought that I'd be here, I' m too old to compete with these younger people. I'm out of work and out of options. I just want to close the book on my life. I doesn't mean anything anymore.

i just don't feel anything any more i my heart feels so cold and gets colder every passing day

I have been sick for over a year. The doctors arnt sure what's wrong with me. I suffer from panic attacks, and im a cutter. I just dont know what to do know more. I just feel like i dont deserve to be here. I'm tired of feeling left out. I wish i had the nerve to end this life, but i dont. I'm to weak, and i hate myself for that. I wish i could just get some type of help. My baby sister is the only thing that keeps me in this world. I love her with every beat of my heart, and i dont want her growing up knowing that her big sister commited suicide. I need help, and no one seems to understand. I have become numb. I dont look forward to anything. I just wish i had someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright, but inside i know that is never going to happen. I wish i could change. Im just not sure how.

some time i feel like i have no heart i can't feel any thing any more i have no one who can hold me im so alone

I think im finally ready

Don't think you ppl have nothing 2 live for, i've been through it all & i'm still here & don't regret it, whatever your pain it'll only get worst if you let it. One of my good friends died from talking so much about her aniexity she finally ended her life. & i think all of you ppl are great & will think past the pain.
luv ya

Don't think you ppl have nothing 2 live for, i've been through it all & i'm still here & don't regret it, whatever your pain it'll only get worst if you let it. One of my good friends died from talking so much about her aniexity she finally ended her life. & i think all of you ppl are great & will think past the pain.
luv ya

hey ppl any ever want to commit suicide at school.

do what ur heart tells u to do

What ways have u guys thought about killing urself? I dont have money or time for gun, but i thought about smothering, swallowing/choking, maybe stick a fork into some electrical socket, or jump off a bridge (tho thats pretty far).
My situation btw is that the girl i have talked to for 2 years online and have grown to love says she wants me as her best friend and not as her lover. Now i think she has blocked me....
also i have looked into buying cyanide tablets... u can order them from asia

hi im in love with a girl who just wants to be friends it hurts so much nm sigh

FIND GOD SPIRITUALLY, AND YE SHALL BE SAVED, NO NEED TO COMMIT MORTAL SIN....HE CAN HEAL ALL THAT LOOK TO HIM.

Everyone. Think of all those wonderful things you will never discover again. Think of those beautiful faces you never will see again. Think of everything u will miss. Hang on. Later you will get your reward. Dont leave life. You will never get the chance to regret.

I hate my life!!! I dont want to live anymore. everybody hate me and think that Im an idiot...
I feel so alone, I wish that I could just disappear from the fase of the earth...
my parents are always yelling at me, calling me fat and ugly and stuff...
my x-boyfriend dumped my, calling me fat and ugly, he said to me that i was more ugly then a rat!
my life is a mess, i just want to end it all.. i dont wanna live anymore, i wanna die!

Like some people here, I get suicidal thoughts. But ya know what, I then realise that somewhere, even in the distant future there will be something that will make me smile. Something to look forward to. Some-one may surprise me by thinking about ME for a change. Some-one may smile, even though I didn`t smile first. Some-one may offer me a smoke, and I didn`t even ask for one. Some-one may offer me a ride. You know- all the little things that prove you wrong that all people on earth are arse-holes. I know this may not be what the people here want to read, but I hope it will help at least one person. Cause I know that it is the only thing that helps me when I want to break on through to the other side. Live is too short to be longing for death. Don`t fight the pain, let it happen and let it make ya stronger. Remember this: you are the only one you can trust-even if you think you can`t trust yourself.
See you.

I don´t know wat to do..... I´m sick of being tist at school. I´m 14 and this is the second time I have suicide thoughts. And like last time it comes from being tist and cald things. I just don´t know what to do..... I know that taking my own life don help, but sometimes, I just don´t wanna live any more.
Don´t wanna see a new day......

Self-harm is self-obsession.

Hey wazup duds?
how r u all,
any i want to talk to me man............

i got 2 go talk soon.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S that was ment 2 be any 1.

im here

Jeniffer were have u gone dont go u cant have!!

Anyone actually here...?

here comes the rain.

Anyone on right now?

hey, i havent been on here for a while...trying to get better...but no luck yet.
i feel like shit and still i want to die..but doesnt everybody want to these days.
hope every1 is going good and hope u r actually trying to get better aswell

Hi Jaimee
it often is dificolt to get over suicide toughts. At least it was for me. Sometimes it helps to talk about how you feel. i think that to get over the tought about suicide you have to be strong, and really want to do something about it.
good luck, i really hope you wil get better. and remember you are wourt much.....

I have decided that it is time to die. I have found no solace in god or church or anything. I have no direction and am ike a ship at sea without a sail.
I will die because that is the only constructive thing i can contribute

Hey dudes!
i am really sad and dapperest,
i have no friends, well i do have 2 but they r not
really great friends. Lots of ppl say stuff about me
and call me names, plus i am sick of the planet and
all the bad things that r happing in it.
i just need some 1 2 talk 2, and yup" i have no boy friend as well, i am allways stuck in the house in ma
bed man, i hat ma life it sucks!

hey lee
your story are quite like to my own.
If you need someone to talk to, you can send me a mail on elenm@online.no, maybe it wil help bougth you and me if we couth talk together.

hey again.
lee this place is shit but it isnt your problem and i have realised that and the 2 friends u have bring them closer to u and things will get betta

I am a 32 year old man, in love with a woman that says that shes in love with me, but shes married and we have been together for several months. She wont leave her husband, for financial reasons and because of her kids, which to some extent I can understand, but its still hard to accept. I am constantly thinking about her, wishing that we could be together, but I know realistically that it's not likely. I dont know what to do. I am scared that I may never find another woman like her. We have so much in common and I am a single father and she has been wonderful to my children and shes also the first woman that I have let into my life in some time. I want to end it, but I am afraid that I wont be able to cope with the loss. I want to stay with her, but my mind seems to wander at times when I know that she is at home with her husband and not here with me. She comes to see me and I go to see her, but I want more and she says that she does as well, but she cant make the move yet. She says that she has been maried to the same man for 16+ years and that change scares her because of the uncertainity .. what should I do to prevent myself from falling apart at the seams?

That's what you get for being involved with a married woman. Get out of her life NOW before you destroy her family.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Your selfishness is on the verge of destroying a family unit, which is more important that your "feelings" for this woman.

Back off now.

Yo man!
there r plenty of fish in the sea 2 choose fae,
just 4 get about her dude,
u will find the right "woman eventually"
man.
fae leexx

hey, i dont really know where to begin...i'm a 16 year old guy, my parents are divorced, i have been to a hospital 3 times already on account of suicidal issues, medication doesnt seem to help at all, i have been on about 5 different kinds my dr. said would work but they dont, i have stopped takin my last meds and i have been off for about 3 months now and i felt a bit better for a while but things are turning around and gettin worse than ever, my family cant afford my issues but they just keep gettin worse, i want to stop all this but i get so stressed i seem to wake up every morning saying i am gonna go get a tree and a rope...can n e 1 tell me what i should do (please email me at heathenseed@hotmail.com or matt@solenberg.com) thanks matt

I'm thinking of killing myself right now. Sometimes I get emotional about it, but now it makes plain, logical sense. I've asked to be hospitalized, institutionalized a few times. My doctor keeps saying no, I don't need it. I just want to get out of here. I'm going to go.

hey joblow suicide isnt the awnser,it solves all yer problems sure..but i know alot of people that have commited suicide, it tears them apart. the hospital doesnt do much, they just keep u safe from yourself for a while....

Why the hell am I typing this. I know waht I have to do. Maybe just to clear my head and reason it out. It's not that I want to die but it's the only way I can find peace. I think.. I know I'm autistic, at least partially. That or something similer and being around people casuses me so much pain. I've lost so many jobs because I can't do small talk. Sounds stupid doesnt it ? Is it fuck, it's a state of anguish, hate mixed with constant tears. I'd kill someone for revengr but I don't want to take anothe life or cause pain and besides why should someone else suffer for my freakish state. I'm a strange creature to be jeered at and mocked, even beaten if your from a rough enough area. I can fight but you can't fight everyone . Avoided I wouldn't mind, it's not a pleasent state to live totally alone but it's so less painful. Now I can't do it anymore. I'm trying to be gone by Friday I think. Thank you for listening to me. It's not a call for attention , believe it or not. I'm jsut thinking through the most logical cause of action.

look Matt u need 2 chill man,
its not ur falut just try and think positive.
i suffer fae the same thing, but i try ma best 2 think
positive, just put it all behind u, mybe if u start to look on the suny sid of life things will start to work,
or u could get good luck.
luv fae leexxxxxx
ma email leahmckenna@yahoo.com

hey thx lee, i really try and try, i dun know...seems like nothin really helps. i am always in the middle of conflicts between like my parents and crap..they complain to me like i can make it better and they never tell eachother what's goin on it's really...bad...i don know but it sux, any advice?
(not well writen...cant think strait)

i look at this thing too much...i really wish i could find just the right advice to really have it help me
i try to sleep and relax but it never really seems to work x.x but oh well, again thx lee if u want to talk email me at Heathenseed@hotmail.com, my other email isnt workin
~matt~

has anyone ever had a drem where you think u wake up and you are staring up at someone you really care about that is crying and stroking your hair lovingly, you dont understand why they are crying and you dont seem to be able to do anything about, it takes a minuet and u realize that the reason this person is so sad is that you are dead, you dont know why or how but you are laying in a coffin alone, i dont know...i dont dream much and i dont let dreams bother me but this 1 just seems a bit odd, n e 1 know what it means?
~matt~

I have had a very scary dream, but it was ages-ago
i was in a coffin, but it was really strange cos,
i was there at my own funeral i looked down and
it was me in the coffin, so i was at my own funeral
it was really scary man.
i just had scary dream last night that i went 2 pull
ma friend awy fae the road cos there where a big
lorry gone by and she went 2 walk out and i pulled
her back, but it was really really weired and sore cos the lorry went over the top of us i could feel the
pain it just nearly got over ma head then i wok up,
it was horrible.

btw lee i tried to email u and it didnt work, try to email me, Matt@solenberg.com

Ok i will send u a email!
c ya xx

have u ever sat awake staring at the celing wondering what the use in being here is, u know that if u leave u will hurt all those you love terribly..but is it worse to let your loved ones sit and watch the empty case that used to contain your heart and soul? or causing them alot of sudden pain (that will leave with time) to watch that case leave? either way you are dead and you do cause them alot of pain. what is the use?

im gunna die but i dont no the best way to do it some one help me please

hey.
my name is Chrisy and i'm 14 years old in the past fucking two years i have attempted to kill myself three times first with a gun but my sister walked in second with a rope but that didnt work out and third by ODing on backlafin (pain killers for someone who is paralized) i have been to a mental hospital five times from between two weeks to seven munths at a time! this year will be my first year in highschool now let me say none of my problems are because of school tho i will get stressed out because of the work sometimes ...i have problems at home (not saying, sorry) i get into fights alot mainly because i don't put up with anybodys shit! because of the fact i am "gothic" if you will ... my dady killed himself when i was in the 4th grade and in the 6th my friend Tim was struck by lightning sadly now i cut myself like i always have been since the age of nine and the cuts are getting bad! i have a boyfriend that i LOVE ALOT! and so i want to stop before i kill myself (its a miricle im saying this!!!) but the pain is just to fucking amazing!! i just cant stop no matter how hard i try ...cutting, my blood dripping down ....this is my drug can n/e one help?

my sn for AIM is static xandonly or unknownchild56 or mattspigymclover

my sn for yahoo is iwincuzimdabest
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
i give out my love,
chrisy

hey, i dont know if this helps or not, i've closed myself off from all other people and wont open for shit kuz i got hurt last time i tried to talk..stupid doctors..think they know me..but yea, chrisy, try to think about yer best friend lookin down @ u, i bet he hates that yer cuttin yerself..then always always always think of yer mom/family..they love u soo much and i bet it's killin them inside to see u hurt yerself...u dont want to die it sounds like and that's definately a good thing...try to always remember them when u cut yerself...try hard to stop too,
my aim screen name is HeathenSeed, my email is Matt@solenberg.com if u want n e thing plz dont hesitate to ask, try yer best to live life happily, dont look at the bad, stare hard at the good to remember it,

i hand my heart in a paper bag to u if u like
~matt~

Every chat room I go to everyone seems to know eachother I have no one to talk to.